Tainted Dream
by WarGoddesses
Summary: Sequel to Endless Dream. Quatre and Duo take a trip to New York. The others soon follow to investigate the tragic plane crash from two years ago. New relationships are made, and old ones are mended.
1. Prologue

Author's Notes: (It's Tensei today!) Oookkkiiieee…. I've got like… a whole other chapter kinda sitting here. This part just kinda happened on a silly 'lil whim.  
  
Kudos: MAAJORRR Kudos to Marika Webster for helping me with this. I mean… GODS! She worked a lot on the first few paragraphs here, so anything good is hers. XD And… anything good after that is thanks to the lovely lil lesson that she gave me… so either way, I'm gonna have to bake her some cookies now! * grins *  
  
More Shtuff: Okies… just… please review? I've got another chapter sitting here all by it's lonesome… waiting to be read, but I wanna see some reviews first. Sooo…. Get to it! * giggles *  
  
Disclaimer: * clears throat * Um… yeah… I own them! XD * gets chased around by angry lawyers * GAAAAHHHHHHH  
  
Special Notes: Okie… Finally got a title for this darned thing. If it's corny… well, sue me then! It's 2:15 AM and I already used what little brainpower God has granted me just to write this! You'll eventually understand the title anyway, if you don't now.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tainted Dream  
  
Prologue  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Darkness. That would be the word man would use for it. The intensity of the sight was vaster than a frail human mind could vaguely comprehend. Darkness. Something to be fear... something negative, not a thing to embrace. No, never dare to embrace the comfort that lay there. That was all that she could see, all she could feel, that palpable darkness, for miles around and years ahead.  It was as if someone had snuffed out the only light that she had ever known.  The candle that had once burned so brightly had been put out with a strong gust of wind called life, as though at the whimsy of some cruel god reaching it's snowy fingers across the chasm of death to touch life, and hold it, leaving in it's wake only sorrow.  
  
What happened?  She couldn't quite remember, wasn't quite sure that she wanted to.  She went to sleep, and when she woke up, she was empty.  Sure, the fact that her friend left in the first place hurt, but the knowledge that she was never coming back made her very soul cry out for this nightmare to end. This knowledge was the pin that pricked, that soul that cried... it was the same one that bled from the prick of awareness that barreled it's way so acutely through her world.  
  
She had never imagined a life without her best friend.  They had been together ever since "birth", and she expected them to be together at death as well.  That's why this just didn't process.  It… didn't make sense!  Solace, it was not part of the deal. Being alone was not part of the deal. Damn it all. Where was the justice now? It all happened so suddenly… That's what they all say, but that doesn't make it any less true.  It WAS sudden!  One moment, everything is fine.  The war is over, and peace reigned once again.  But all it took was one moment, the blink of an eye for that airplane to crash into the ocean. How ironic that thought in and of itself that really was. What a fitting death, for a pilot to die in such a manner. And almost as suddenly, upon the heels of that thought, came another. What a beautiful way to die. Flight, freedom, and the freedom of death coming in the midst of that flying liberty. A beautiful way to die, but a horrible way to live for those left behind.  
  
A gentle hand being placed on Musha's shoulder brought her back to reality.  The cold, brutal place, where instead of remembering the happy times, you have to press forward.  Reality. A barren world, an alien place all it's own. Abstract made concrete... the righteous indignation of the living met with the comfort and solemnitude of the dead. Reality. And Musha hated it.  
  
"It's time to go…" Wufei's voice was uncharacteristically soft.  She knew that he was being gentle for her sake, but honestly, that was the worst thing for her.  She didn't deal with her emotions gently.  No, she remained calm and cool on the exterior, but inside would burn a hateful flame, ready to burst at any enemy that dared challenge her.  That was how she survived. And wasn't survival the only point to living?  
  
Musha just took once more glance at herself in the full-length mirror that hung from her door, and nodded, standing up and faced Wufei. He almost flinched when he saw her eyes. They weren't full of sorrow or sadness. No, they were alive with hate and almost determination?  
  
No words were exchanged. The young man just slipped his arm around that of the woman beside him, and led her carefully out to the car. Musha had almost hoped that he would say something, anything! She usually preferred silence, but not when she felt lonely. No, she needed some proof that she was, indeed in the presence of a loved one; she needed to know that there was something left to live for.  
  
Wufei's gaze drifted over to her every few minutes on that dreary ride. The minutes ticked by slowly, painfully dragging out every ounce of silent anguish that would be squeezed from these two grief-stricken souls. The damage had already been done, so what were they dreading so much? Was it the mere thought of having to face scores of attendees, weeping artificial tears merely for the benefit of the true mourners, who they assumed needed sympathy? Or was it the inability to accept what has happened, and bring this ordeal to a close with a dark ceremony, saying final farewells to the departed loved one? What if you weren't ready to say goodbye? What if you would never be ready to say goodbye?  
  
When the car finally stopped in front of the old brick building, Musha snapped out of her daze, and cast her weary gaze outside. It was raining. Tensei had loved the rain. She would stand outside, no matter what the temperature and let herself get soaked from head to toe. She liked to think of it as some kind of divine cleansing, a washing of her bloodstained hands that only God himself could grant.  
  
So maybe… the rain was here to fix God's mistake, to bring Tensei back to her? Musha knew that God made no mistakes, and that was all well and good unless His plan didn't agree with hers.  
  
Forget it. She didn't feel like thinking about that right now. It never helped her to think about things that she had no control over. What was the point in feeling helpless and dependent? Weak…  
  
Once inside of the funeral home, Musha's eyed went wide at the sheer number of people that packed the building. But it wasn't the volume of people that got to her, it was the vast sea of black… Black! Why in the world would people wear black to a funeral? She still didn't understand! Why darken the mood any more? Wasn't there enough gloom in the air?  
  
She shook her head and looked up to Wufei, who had his arm gently resting over her shoulders. She had to admit that amidst all this craziness, shock, sorrow, and just plain wrongness, he gave her hope. She loved him – and not in the way that you might think. She did not love Wufei, the Preventer and former Gundam pilot, she loved Wufei, his soul and the strength that it offered. She had made up her mind days ago that she was going to be all right…  
  
The doors closed behind her, and Wufei ushered her to sit. This was it, the final farewell. But she would be strong, she had been for all of her life, what was going to stop her now?  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Okies… what'd ya think? I need feedback, people! And don't worry, the good stuff comes next chapter. Wufei gets to make a baka of himself. XD Now PLEASE R&R 


	2. Chapter One New Beginnings

Author's Notes: (Tensei) Okie… New chapter. ^^ Um… this is what I had originally planned on writing for the beginning… The prologue was just out of boredom, so I'm sorry, nothing from Musha yet, but her chapter is next! * cheers * Please read and review!  
  
Kudos: More kudos! Weee!! Marika Webster, my first onee-san… * HuGz * You're too good to me. And Musha-chan, my bestest onee-chan * glomps * You're too tolerant of me! And to all of the readers…. * HuGz * THANK YOU!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing… * sigh * But I do own my GW tapes! * HuGgLeZ *  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tainted Dream  
  
Chapter One  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
"Oh! Renee! Did you hear?"  
  
A young woman at the other end of the room looked up curiously at her coworker. "Hear what?"  
  
The first woman just laughed and tossed a newspaper over to the other. "Check that out! The Yui's baby was born last night!"  
  
Renee blinked a couple of times and looked down at the paper, securely tucking a strand of copper brown hair behind her ear as she read. "Elizabeth… You need a life." She laughed and handed the paper back.  
  
Elizabeth just shook her head. "Oh, come on!! You should know that I love to keep track of celebrities! Especially these two! I mean, what a remarkable story! Did you know that Hiiro Yui used to threaten to kill Relena when they were younger? Who would have thought that they'd get married?"  
  
Renee just shook her head. "You need a date…"  
  
Elizabeth just grinned, that sly grin that Renee always knew meant trouble. "I already have a date for tonight! And so do you!"  
  
The brunette's heart sank past her feet and she rolled her eyes, groaning in disgust. "You're kidding me, right?"  
  
The other woman just crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. "He's picking you up at seven."  
  
"Elizabeth! You know that I don't like going on dates! Especially blind dates!" Renee was furious. No matter how many times she tried to explain it to everyone, no one could accept the fact that she just wasn't interested in dating of any form. She was happy with the way that things were!  
  
The other woman just waved her hand and shook her head. "Don't worry! I promise that you're gonna like this guy! He's good-looking, smart, talkative…"  
  
"Then why don't you go out with him?" Renee questioned, "You seem to like him enough!"  
  
"But I've already got a date! Besides, he's nothing like the last guy that I picked out for you! This one is rich!!"  
  
"Abbie! Do you really think that I'm that shallow?!"  
  
The older woman just laughed, "Come on! Admit it! You may appear to be modest, but I just know that deep down inside, there's this little princess that can't wait to be pampered!"  
  
Renee just groaned, almost getting annoyed with her friend now. "Listen… Elizabeth… I really don't feel up to this."  
  
"Ugh! Come on! You need to get out more! You can't spend the rest of your life living alone! You need a partner!"  
  
"I don't live alone!" Renee shouted indignantly.  
  
Elizabeth cocked an eyebrow at her friend. "Your cat doesn't count."  
  
With a groan, Renee rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. There was no way that she was going to go out on a date! No way!  
  
Elizabeth just sighed. "Fine fine… whatever. I'll call him to cancel."  
  
Renee sighed and made her way to her office, "Thank you…" She stepped inside, resisting the urge to slam the door shut. Instead, just latched it carefully and leaned back against the glass.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Wufei stared curiously down at the tiny creature before him. He had never seen anything like it, at least not up close. So innocent, yet so terrifying at the same time. He was thankful that he wasn't the one who would have to deal with it.  
  
"It's called a baby, Fei-baka." A feminine voice behind him laughed as he spun around in surprise.  
  
He narrowed his eyes at the woman before him. "Musha no baka… I know what this is!"  
  
Musha just smiled and shook her head. "I bet you'd never know what to do with it though!"  
  
"That's beside the point!" He exclaimed, doing his best to hide the smile that threatened to brighten his features. It had been two years since Tensei's death. The first year was the hardest. Musha completely shut herself off from everyone else, until she finally realizes that Tensei wouldn't want her to suffer like this.  
  
He still knew, though, that she was still hurting, which could only be expected. He decided, though, that he would never force her to talk about her pain. She was a strong person, having grown up amidst such pain. She had her own way of handling it, so he made sure just to be there for her.  
  
Hiiro entered the room at that moment, and ever so gently scooped little Owen into his arms. "Thank you for keeping an eye on him." He said in his usual monotone.  
  
Musha stared in wonder at the care that Hiiro practiced whenever he was so much as in the same room as the baby. She never imagined that a war- hardened soldier such as himself would ever display such tenderness.  
  
"How's Relena doing?" Musha asked as she pulled on her coat.  
  
"She's doing fine." Hiiro answered, "But she is forbidden to leave the house until she has fully recovered."  
  
Musha couldn't help but laugh. "You know, Hiiro." She said with a slight smirk, "The best way to help her recover would be to help her with actually caring for the baby."  
  
Hiiro looked at Musha curiously as she introduced this foreign concept. "You mean…"  
  
Musha nodded. "Rocking, feeding," she paused and smirked just slightly, "Changing…"  
  
Wufei laughed as Hiiro visibly paled. Gently tugging on Musha's arm, leading her to the door. "Stop traumatizing the poor man. He shouldn't have to worry about those things. They're for a woman to take care of."  
  
Musha turned around quickly grabbed the door handle. "Little ears. Excuse us a moment." Gently pulling the door shut, she turned to Wufei. "Baka…" she smacked him on the shoulder and walked ahead of him out to the street.  
  
Wufei laughed yet again and raised his arms in defense. "What did I do?"  
  
Musha laughed with him and shook her head. "You are a baka…"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Duo yawned and stretched his legs out on top of his desk. He quickly glanced at his watch and grinned. "Yep. It's been a whole hour. Time for another break." He shut his eyes for a brief moment before the phone rang. With a groan, he reached over and lifted the receiver to his ear. "Preventer Maxwell."  
  
"Duo! How've ya been, hon?" a feminine voice squealed from the other end.  
  
"Abbie!" Duo sat straight up and leaned forward on the desk, "Babe! How are ya? I haven't talk to you in ages!" It was true. Duo hadn't spoken to Elizabeth in a few years, actually. They had a little "fling" during his vacation to New York. The relationship ended when the holiday did, but the two did remain as good friends.  
  
Elizabeth just laughed. "I'm doing great! But, the reason I called is to ask you for some help!"  
  
"Anything for you, sexy!" She could just picture him winking as he said those words and sighed.  
  
"You shut up now, or Hilde will get mad!"  
  
"Nah… don't worry. She knows that I'm a flirt. As long as she knows that I'm hers, no matter what, she's okay with it."  
  
Elizabeth chuckled and shook her head. "Loser… Anyway. I need a bit of help for my friend, actually. She's young, active, beautiful, and single."  
  
Duo sighed. "I have dirty mind. Don't say things like that to me, Bethy."  
  
"Come on, Duo! Be serious!"  
  
"Okay okay! What can I do for you?"  
  
"Well…" Elizabeth began, taking a quick glance around to make sure that Renee was nowhere in sight. "You still hang out with Quatre Winner, right?"  
  
Duo nodded. "Yep! But he's at his office today. How is he involved in all of this?"  
  
"Well, you see…" she trailed off, feeling only a little bit guilty, but nonetheless motivated to get Renee some form of love life. "He's single, isn't he?"  
  
Duo nodded grimly. "Ever since Tensei died, he's locked himself in his office. He's as single as a guy can get."  
  
Elizabeth grinned. "Perfect! Then we can help both of them! Can you somehow arrange for Mr. Winner to come to New York? I could get them some reservations at a restaurant, romantic hotel-"  
  
"Ah," Duo cut her off, "Forget the romantic hotel. Quatre doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would swing that way."  
  
The woman sighed. "You're right. I don't think Renee would be too keen on that idea anyway. But the restaurant would work, wouldn't it?"  
  
Duo nodded. "That sounds great! And just your luck, Hilde just landed a job as his secretary! I'll have a little chat with her and see what business meetings she can arrange for him out that way."  
  
"Great!!" the woman squealed and jumped a little before settling back down behind her desk. "Give me a call when you have the dates, okay? I'll make sure that she doesn't have any projects scheduled. Thanks so much, sweetie!"  
  
Duo grinned. "Not a problem."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Wufei narrowed his eyes in concentration as he focused on the contraption in front of him. He and Musha decided to rent a house together shortly after the war ended – They were good friends, besides, it would be a lot less to pay rent.  
  
They had lived in perfect harmony for almost two years, but Musha accused Wufei of being tone-deaf, for this perfect harmony seemed pretty off-key to her, being that she always ended up doing such things as cooking and cleaning. She decided that it was high time Wufei learned some domestic skills of his own.  
  
It didn't take very long for Wufei to realize that Musha didn't buy any of that 'You're the woman, it's your job!' crap. She meant business, and proved it to him by going on 'strike'. She didn't cook for him, she didn't clean for him, and she refused to even wash his laundry.  
  
Well, after a few weeks of messy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cluttered floors and dirty clothes, Wufei finally gave in to the onna and decided to learn how to accomplish these necessary tasks. Before he moved with Musha, he had stayed in Quatre's mansion, having everything provided for him, so he had never needed to know anything of the art of housekeeping.  
  
"Come on, baka…" he muttered to himself, lifting up the white metal lid and peering into the washing machine. "Aha! This should be simple!" He would not be outdone by a mere machine! With a new confidence, he dropped a pile of clothes – darks and lights alike into the bin, then surveyed the shelf. Boxes and bottles were scattered about, but he prided himself in the fact that he recognized the conspicuous box of soap.  
  
He peered inside of the box, then back into the washing machine. Using his better judgment, he poured a liberal amount of the grains into the machine and smiled proudly. But there was something missing… His eyes traveled across the shelf and he smiled as he spotted a bottle labeled "bleach". He had seen Musha use it before when washing laundry, so without a second thought, he unscrewed the cap and poured some in.  
  
Now all that he needed was water… He finally decided that hot would be the best option. Hot water kills germs, and that was a good thing, right?  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Quatre blinked in confusion as he watched his secretary do her best to hide a grin. "New York? So suddenly?"  
  
Hilde nodded. "Mr. Johnson has a new project coming up, and he was wondering if you might finance it."  
  
Quatre nodded. "That's fine, but… can't I just authorize that over the phone?"  
  
The young woman just shook her head. "Nope! He knew that you'd say yes, so he wanted to treat you to dinner as a thank you. Besides, you two are friends, and he thought it would do you some good to have a bit of fun for once."  
  
Quatre narrowed his eyes. "Hilde… I do have fun!"  
  
Hilde just laughed sarcastically. "Quatre! The most fun I ever see you having is inventing new models of paper airplanes at that desk of yours that you don't even leave until ten-thirty at night! You need to socialize some more like you used to!"  
  
Quatre just frowned. "I do socialize." In actuality, he knew that the closest thing he had to a social life right now was conference calls with other executives from around the world… But he didn't want more right now. He was fine with how things were. Well, correction: he was NOT fine with how things were now, but he knew that he couldn't get over her… it! He couldn't get over it!  
  
"Come on, Quatre!" Hilde begged, "It's only for a few days. Get out of your office, have dinner with a friend, and spend the rest of the time doing whatever you like!"  
  
Quatre just groaned and rolled his eyes. "Fine… but I'm not promising that I'll enjoy it!"  
  
Hilde grinned and waved her hand. "Oh… whatever. Listen, you've got a plane to catch in about four hours, so you'd better go start packing!"  
  
"Four hours?!"  
  
He didn't even have time to say anything else, as Hilde shoved him out the door with a quick, "Have fun!"  
  
The young man sighed and trudged out to his car. This was going to be a long few days…  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Renee sighed as she collapsed back on her sofa. The weekend had finally come, but she couldn't shake that feeling of dread that had been haunting her for the last week. It had been an entire week since Elizabeth had dared to suggest that she go on a date – again. Abbie wasn't the type to back down that easily. No, she had something up her sleeve, and she wouldn't go down without a fight.  
  
There was a swift knock at the door and Renee rolled her eyes, standing up with a groan. She didn't feel like company right now. Call her anti- social, she just didn't like people anymore.  
  
Before she could even open the door, it burst open and in flew a grinning Elizabeth, holding a hanger in her hand with something concealed inside of a plastic covering. "Let's go, girl! We don't have much time!"  
  
Renee blinked in confusion. "Abbie… what's going on?"  
  
The other woman just shut the door behind her and ran right into her friend's bedroom, throwing open the closet and rummaging through some shoes. "Go wash your hair, Renee! We're going out!!"  
  
The brunette shook her head. "What are you talking about? What's that you have?"  
  
Elizabeth just smiled proudly as she yanked the plastic off of the hanger, to reveal a long, strapless green gown. "I think it matches your eyes well! Now all we need are some shoes that'll match!" She hung the dress on the hook on the door and continued her hunt for a decent pair of shoes.  
  
"Elizabeth!!!" Renee shouted in absolute disgust, "What in the world do you think that you're doing?!"  
  
"Listen…" Elizabeth stopped and looked up at her friend, "I hope you can forgive me, but I got you a date – But before you say anything, please hear me out!" She winced inwardly at the angry expression that her friend's features held, but continued, nonetheless, "Listen. If you go on this date, just this ONE date, I PROMISE that I'll NEVER bug you about dating again, okay? Just… please, I went to a lot of trouble to arrange this, and I'm only doing it for you!"  
  
Renee cursed mentally. She was too soft to say no to someone who begged so sincerely, and she DID say that she went to a lot of trouble. With a sigh, she shook her head. "Fine… But you owe me, all right?"  
  
Elizabeth just squealed and went back to the closet, "You're the greatest, Renee! I KNOW you'll love him, I just KNOW it!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Wufei sat quietly on the sofa of his home, reading a book, enjoying the silence. He rather liked the home that he and Musha picked out. It was right outside of the city, though not inconvenient, but away from unwanted noises. It was peaceful. Just how he liked it.  
  
Only moments later did Musha come back home, blinking in surprise as she looked around at the house. "Wufei…" she could hardly believe her eyes. The floor had been picked up, and it even looked as if it had been vacuumed? She walked around, inspecting for dust and found nothing.  
  
Wufei just continued to read his book, pretending that she wasn't even there.  
  
"What did you do, Wufei?"  
  
"It's called cleaning." He stated simply, "I cleaned the house, vacuumed, dusted, took out the trash and even did the laundry." He decided not to mention the fact that he made an attempt at making dinner – knowing fully well that it would do his case no good. He probably couldn't even get a dog to eat his food.  
  
Musha couldn't help but smile as she peered around, confirming to herself that the house was, in fact, spotless. She let out a little squeal and bounded over to the couch, laying a quick kiss on his cheek. They did that often, more out of friendship than love, but still, they could not deny their feelings for each other. "I told you that you could do it!"  
  
Wufei just nodded, trying his hardest not to break out a proud grin. "I told you that I could do it."  
  
Musha laughed and skipped into her room. "I'm gonna go change."  
  
Wufei merely nodded. "Your clothes should be finished drying now! They're in the laundry room!"  
  
Musha smiled as she came back out of her room. "You did my laundry too? You're so sweet!" She smiled as she headed to the laundry room.  
  
Only moments later, did Wufei drop his book as he heard a very loud, very angry sounding, "DIE, SEXIST BAKA!!!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Elizabeth… have I mentioned yet that I'm going to kill you?" Renee stared at herself in the mirror in obvious shock, if not horror. Her hair had been pulled up into a neat bun, with little brown curls falling down the sides of her face. The dress… well, the dress looked fine, until she put it on. It was too low-cut for her taste, so after some arguing, Elizabeth finally agreed to let her wear a shawl over it. She sighed as she looked at her reflection, feeling a twang of… Well, something. She didn't know how she felt. As she looked at the girl before her, she didn't even recognize her. But maybe that was all for the better?  
  
"You look great!" Elizabeth shouted happily, "Now let's go! He's going to be waiting for you!"  
  
"Can I at least know his name?" Renee asked as she picked up her pocketbook and headed for the door. "I mean, I don't know anything about him!"  
  
Elizabeth just grinned. "It's a surprise! But I promise that you'll like him, okay? Just hold out for a bit longer!" she handed her a small piece of paper and headed for the car, "Once you go inside, hand this to the guy at the front desk, and he'll take you to Mr. Right!"  
  
Renee sighed. "Sleep with one eye open, tonight…"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Quatre fidgeted slightly and glanced at his watch once more. Mr. Johnson was always very meticulous when it came to being on time for meetings, and dinner was never an exception. They were to meet at seven-thirty. It was already seven-fifty. He was getting a bit agitated, and only a little bit suspicious. Last he knew Mr. Johnson hated this restaurant. Something wasn't connecting.  
  
What really threw him off was the fact that Duo insisted on accompanying him to the United States. His excuse was that he wanted some time to "explore his heritage". For some reason, he didn't buy that. But it was too late now. Here he was, waiting for his friend who probably would not even show up at this point. Mr. Johnson would rather not show up for a meeting than be caught late.  
  
With a sigh, Quatre settled back in his seat and decided to give him another ten minutes. If he wasn't here in ten minutes, he would leave and retire back to the hotel. He really didn't feel like talking to anyone anyway.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Hurry up, Renee! You're late!!!"  
  
Renee just tripped along behind Elizabeth, who had her by the wrist, dragging her to the front of the restaurant. "I'm going as fast as I can! I told you not to make me wear these shoes!"  
  
Elizabeth shook her head. "No way! You're supposed to master the art of running in heals! Let's go!" She quickly shoved the other woman into the lobby of the restaurant and stopped to catch her breath, then straightened out a few strands of curls that had gone wild around Renee's head. "All right…" she panted, "Just take that paper to the guy over there, and he'll show you to your seat, okay?"  
  
"But, Elizabeth!!" Renee didn't even get a chance to say more as Elizabeth darted out of the restaurant as fast as her legs could carry her.  
  
With a sigh, Renee turned around and walked up to the man that Elizabeth had pointed out earlier, merely showing him the slip of paper. With a nod, he motioned for her to follow him.  
  
Renee followed the man, glancing around silently at the enormous dining hall. Everyone there was dressed very well, and all seemed comfortable in such surroundings, whereas she felt very out of place. She continued to glance around until her eyes fell on a painfully familiar figure. She squinted her eyes to make sure that she wasn't fooling herself. Sure enough, he looked just like the person that haunted her dreams.  
  
She maneuvered slightly to the left, hoping to avoid his gaze, should he look in her direction, but to her dismay, the waiter that she was supposed to follow was headed right in his direction. This was bad… very, very bad. She wanted to go home. Right now! She wasn't prepared to deal with this! Not here… not now!  
  
So many emotions flew through her at once that she could barely even see straight. He was dead to her, but now, here he was, only yards away. As the yards became feet, she turned her head to face away from him as they passed, but was surprised when she bumped into the waiter, who had since stopped in front of the young man's table.  
  
"Good evening, Mr. Winner." The waiter greeted as he pulled out a chair for Renee. She just shook her head in disbelief. He wanted her to sit there?! With him?!  
  
She dared to glance down at the platinum-haired man and bit down on her lip. He looked exactly the same as he did two years ago, only slightly older. He obviously didn't recognize her, and she was grateful for that.  
  
While Renee was flying on her emotional roller coaster, Quatre was on one of his own, but more confused than anything. "I'm sorry," he began, "But I'm here to meet with Mr. Johnson."  
  
The waiter shook his head. "I'm sorry, sir, but the reservations were made for Mr. Quatre Reberba Winner and Miss Renee Williams. Mr. Johnson isn't even in town."  
  
Quatre shook his head in absolute disbelief, doing his best to suppress any hostile thoughts that came at the thought of Duo and how positively evil he was for setting up something like this. But amidst all of the anger and contempt, he felt some other emotion, though not his own. He felt fear, sorrow, and absolute despair. Taking a quick glance up at the woman, he blinked. 'She looks… familiar…' Shaking his head, he sighed.  
  
"I'm sorry. I knew nothing about this."  
  
"Neither did I." Renee spoke for the first time, "Well, I mean… I did, but…" she couldn't even make herself say anything more. She was too confused to think.  
  
Quatre shook his head and looked up to the woman again. He could sense how weary her soul was, and he almost felt as if… he should help her? He growled inwardly and sighed. "Well, Miss Williams. It appears that we're stuck here for tonight anyway. Would you mind terribly to dine with me?"  
  
Renee struggled against herself at that moment. While one part of her screamed for her to run for her life, the other scolded her for even thinking such things and ordered her to stay. She was just so overcome with emotion that she didn't even notice when her knees buckled underneath her and Quatre jumped up immediately to catch her and gently set her down in her seat.  
  
"Are you all right, Miss Williams?" he asked in concern, frustrated that the waiter had already left them.  
  
Renee nodded shakily and sat up, doing her best to pull herself together. 'It's too late now…' she mused, 'Just survive this dinner, and it'll all be over. Nothing more than a bad dream.'  
  
Quatre nodded and took his seat once more, wondering to himself why on earth he invited her to stay in the first place. It was clear to him that she didn't want to be there, and neither did he… but something told him to stay. "Well…" he started in his best attempt to break the awkward silence between the two of them "My name is Quatre Reberba Winner."  
  
Renee nodded, resisting the urge to say, 'I know', and just forced a smile. "I'm Renee Williams. It's very nice to meet you."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Wufei looked up from the stove that he was furiously scrubbing at as the front door opened. In came Musha, arms full of shopping bags. He just went back to his work, deciding that it would be wise not to say anything.  
  
Musha just glared faintly. For some reason, she had found it hard to stay mad at Wufei. She could stay mad at anyone else, but not Wufei. It frustrated her to no end. Without a word, she stomped into her room and shut the door.  
  
Wufei sighed as he wiped the remaining scum off of the stovetop and disposed of the rags that were in his eyes, beyond salvation. When Musha discovered her clothes – or, what used to be her clothes, she was enraged, to say the least. Barking out a strict list of orders, she stomped out of the house to replace what she had lost.  
  
She was only gone for about an hour. That was one thing that Wufei loved about her. She wasn't like other women, fussing over every little thing. She was practical, but at the same time, maintained that same beauty that other women worked so hard to attain. She was perfect in every way, and he would do anything to keep her.  
  
The last two years had proved to be a labor for both of them. They were both hopelessly in love with each other, but never did anything to pursue it. They didn't even talk much about it.  
  
There would be the occasional evening conversation that would develop into an emotional sob session, ending in comforting embraces, which eventually lead to chaste kisses as Wufei would carry Musha to her bed and tuck her in gently. She wasn't ready for love, and he loved her enough to respect that. He knew though, that one day she would be ready, and when she was, he wanted to give her the world.  
  
So the incident with the laundry proved counter productive in his intentions. Instead of making her day easier, he succeeded in destroying her wardrobe, forcing her to take a trip out to the store, which he could tell that she didn't want to do anyway.  
  
She came back out only five minutes later, wearing a brand new pair of black jeans, and a goldenrod yellow sweater. He could never get over her fascination with those colors, but they suited her well. Wordlessly, she walked out to the sitting room and plopped down on the sofa, and just watched him.  
  
And he watched her.  
  
They stayed that way for about ten minutes until finally, Musha spoke. "You're a baka, you know." She said, though her voice showed no anger, just mirth.  
  
Wufei smiled slightly. "And you're an onna, which is why I shouldn't be washing the laundry."  
  
Musha shook her head and patted the cushion beside her, signaling to him that she wanted him to sit beside her, which he did without hesitation. She curled one leg up on the couch and underneath her, and turned to face Wufei.  
  
"Fei-baka…" she said quietly, "I'm sorry for blowing up at you earlier. I shouldn't have done that."  
  
Wufei shook his head. "No. I was wrong. I should have read the instructions."  
  
Musha just sighed. "You really are a baka. You and I both know that that would have done no good."  
  
Wufei smiled and nodded. "Yeah, but it sounded good at the time."  
  
Musha shook her head and laughed. "But really, Wufei. I'm sorry. I've just been really… snappy lately."  
  
Wufei nodded. "But I understand." He sighed and tenderly took Musha's hand into his, "You're stressed out right now, Musha."  
  
She shook her head. "No… I'm not stressed. Just…"  
  
"It was two years ago, next Wednesday." Wufei interrupted, staring hard at her. "You're stressed, no matter what you say. And you have a right to be stressed. Just don't forget that I'm here for you, okay?"  
  
Musha smiled slightly and nodded her head. "Hai…" She was silent for a moment, before turning her head to the side.  
  
Wufei reached out and gently cupped her chin, moving her to face him once more, only to find the reason for why she turned in the first place. Using his other hand, he gently ran his fingers across her cheeks, wiping away the hot tears that started as a trickle, but soon streamed down her face.  
  
"It's not right…" he whispered softly, "That this happened to you. You of all people deserve to be happy. Just remember though, that Tensei wouldn't want to see you suffering. But at the same time, she wouldn't want to see you hold in all of your pain. Isn't she the one who always told you that crying is the only way to let out your sorrow?"  
  
Musha took a shaky breath and nodded. "But…" she tried to find something to object to, something to oppose. But there was nothing. What's happened has happened, and she was powerless to change it. She hated that about herself. She always had to be in control. But the one time that her friend's life depended on it, she was useless.  
  
Wufei knew exactly what she was thinking. She thought this every day, and told him every time that they cried together. "Musha…" he gave her hand a gentle squeeze and looked at her sincerely, "It's all right. Everything is all right. Tensei is not suffering right now. She just got her break early, that's all. And right now, she's watching you. Her body may have left us, but her soul will always be with you. Not even death can separate a bond as strong as what you two had, and still have. She hasn't said goodbye, she's said 'See you later.' One day soon, you'll be with her again. But until then, try to be happy. You know that she would want that."  
  
Musha closed her eyes, squeezing out the remaining tears and nodded her head as Wufei pulled her into his arms. "And I'll never leave you, okay?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Quatre watched in silence as the girl before him ran her spoon idly through the soup in front of her that had long since gone cold. She had barely said a word that night, just stared down at her uneaten food.  
  
"I'm sorry…" he broke the silence and sat back, "I know that you don't want to be here, and neither do I. To tell you the truth, I was tricked into coming here."  
  
Renee almost smiled slightly, just imagining Quatre's braided friend plotting and scheming with Elizabeth. She would never forgive her. If only she knew… "It's quite all right." She answered softly, leaving her spoon to rest inside the bowl, and folding her hands on her lap, "I was forced into it too, but with the promise that this would be my last blind date."  
  
Quatre laughed a little. "We need new friends, huh?"  
  
Renee smiled a bit, and nodded. "You don't know the half of it…"  
  
There was another moment of silence as Quatre just watched Renee. She was unlike anyone he had ever met before, yet… familiar. He just couldn't place her.  
  
She appeared to be at least somewhat Irish, with her reddish brown hair and green eyes that that dress of hers so perfectly brought out. While she looked different, her voice was what made him wonder. It sounded familiar, yet… far away. He shook his head and sighed. 'Get a life, Winner…' he said to himself, before standing up. "Well, I have to thank you for a lovely evening, Miss Williams. I… ah… Well, I'm going to be in town for a few more days, so maybe we can meet another time, willingly?" He didn't even know why he was asking this of her, but something deep down inside of him told him that it was right.  
  
Renee's eyes went wide at the invitation. She was positive that she should refuse. Make up some excuse about work and be off, but Elizabeth somehow managed to talk her boss into giving her a few days off, and she knew that if she even dared show her face at the office, her scheming friend would shove her right out.  
  
Only a moment later, did she find herself reaching into her pocketbook for a pen and scrap of paper, mentally scolding her hand for such disobedient behavior. She quickly jotted down her phone number and handed the note to Quatre, who took it and nodded.  
  
He helped her pull out her chair, and offered her his arm, which she looked at hesitantly. Noting that he was only doing it because it was polite, she carefully slipped her arm through his and forced a smile. "Thank you. I had a nice time too."  
  
The two walked in silence out to the lobby, where a man and a woman, both with huge grins plastered on their faces waited. Renee immediately recognized the man who stood beside Elizabeth as Duo Maxwell, one of the former Gundam pilots. So THAT was who she was scheming with!  
  
She managed a quick "Goodnight" to the blonde man beside her and detached herself, walking over to her friend who just smiled and winked at Quatre.  
  
"Did ya have fun?" Elizabeth asked, the grin never leaving her face.  
  
Quatre opened his mouth to answer, but Duo cut in before he could say anything. "You two should really get together again! We're going to be here for a few more days, aren't we, Q-man?"  
  
"What a wonderful idea!" Elizabeth squealed, "It just so happens that Renee has the next few days off of work!"  
  
Renee shook her head, deciding not to mention to her friend that a second meeting had already been discussed. She would allow her friend the satisfaction of success before she got the idea that she had to do anything more. She prayed that this would be enough.  
  
"Well!" Duo piped in, "Goodnight, all! I'll see you after you get off of work tomorrow, Lizzy?"  
  
Elizabeth just nodded. "Count on it! Until then!" she waved happily and headed out to her car with Renee.  
  
It wasn't until she started to drive that she smirked slightly and grinned at her friend, "Soooo…?"  
  
Renee scowled and shook her head, leaning back in her seat, wanting nothing more than a hot shower and some aspirin. "Well what?"  
  
"How did it go?"  
  
Renee just sighed. "We ate, we talked, we left. What else could have happened?"  
  
Elizabeth pretended to frown. "What? No lip-locking?"  
  
Renee's eyes widened in absolute horror as her friend just laughed. "Honestly, Elizabeth! I don't know what you're up to, but I don't like it! Anyway…" she folded her hands in her lap and looked down, "It's over now, and you can't arrange any more blind dates for me."  
  
Elizabeth pretended to pout. "Aaww… you're no fun. Looks like I'll just have to make sure that you and Mr. Winner there REALLY hit it off!"  
  
Renee glared at her friend. "Whatever you're going to do, don't! Please, Abbie!"  
  
Elizabeth just shook her head. "You're no fun…"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Quatre frowned at Duo as they got into the car. "That was wrong, Duo." He said, doing his best to sound disappointed.  
  
Duo blinked, as if Quatre's statement came as a surprise. "What? You mean that you didn't have fun?"  
  
Quatre shook his head. "That poor girl was very uncomfortable! We were both put in an awkward position."  
  
Duo just waved his hand and shook his head. "Don't tell me that you didn't enjoy yourself! Come on! She's gorgeous! And I bet that she was nice too!"  
  
Quatre sighed and sank into his seat. He had to admit that he was slightly… attracted to Renee… only in the slightest bit though. He could never pursue a romantic relationship… not now… and probably not ever.  
  
~*~*~*~*~ 


	3. Chapter Two This World, It Spins too Fa...

Author's Notes(Musha) -   **GAH! Took me long enough ne? Don't worry! You'll get to read Tensei-chans AWESOME chapter soon now that mine's done! Oh, and for those of you who want to kill me for bringing Renee into here .... *ducks behind Tensei and points to her* IT WAS HER IDEA!  
Tensei: MUSHA-CHAN! *Grabs sword* What's the big idea putting all of the blame on me!  
Musha: Eek! *Begins to run while Tensei-chan chases her around waving the sword at the same time* Demo..*dodge* It's..*duck* THE TRUTH!  
Tensei: *Rolls her eyes and throws her sword, pinning Musha to the wall.* Maayybbbee, I'll forgive you if you hurry up and start the story!  
Musha: *Eyes grow wide* EveryoneallowmetointroducethenextchapterofTaintedDreamIhopeyouenjoyandIdon'townanything!* Deep breath* ExpectMushaEienandStarsFury!Enjoythestory!**

~*~*~*~*~

Tainted Dream

Chapter Two

~*~*~*~*~

"I can't believe you did that" 

  
"Hey! Renee! Slow down!" Elizabeth stumbled over her feet, before forcing herself to power walk next to the girl in question. "It was a good idea! Admit it!"

  
A slow angry blush spread across Renee's face and she picked up her stride, her brown hair blowing out behind her as the wind picked it up. "You said no more dates!"

  
"Did I say no more? I couldn't have sworn I said only one more!"

  
"ELIZABETH!"

  
The girl lowered her head and laughed nervously, trying not to gasp in air as she struggled to keep up with her friend. Where had the girl learned to move so fast!? "You just seemed so down, I thought you needed something to make you feel better!"

  
"And a date was suppose to do that?!"

  
"Yeah! Now you're getting it!"

  
"Just, leave me alone Elizabeth!" As if acting on their' own accord, Renee's feet sped up and soon reached the pace of a sprint, leaving the other young girl blinking in surprise.

  
"What...did I say?"  
******************  
Musha slowly pulled up one of her kneels and held it next to her chest, staring out and the endless sea of stars being held within the night sky. Her fingers lightly tapping out a tune on her kneecap absently, as she found herself lost within memories.

  
_"Tensei." the curly haired girl said calmly as she leaned against her bedpost._

_  
"Huh?"_

_  
"You need a name."  the girl stated as she stood straight up, her golden curls bouncing just slightly, "Tensei sounds like a good name for you."_

_  
_"Tensei..." she murmured softly, crocking her head to the side, as if seeing the memories play out before her eyes. "Heavenly voice. If I had known, I would have given you a different name."

  
_"Don't cry." the girl said steadily and gently, "You're all right." The girl's deep violet eyes were full of confidence, but the trace of fear did not go unnoticed._

_  
_The tune she was drumming out suddenly stopped, her fist clenching her knee now, the knuckles swiftly turning white. "You're not alright... and it's my fault. The one time you needed me, I wasn't there."

  
She shut her eyes and tilted her head, as if surrendering herself to the will of the stars, or as if their light rays, which fell upon her face could take away her sins and her pain. "I was so selfish! I was so lost within finding happiness for myself, and caring only about myself that I forgot about what you must feel like Tensei, I stopped looking out for you. I didn't see your pain."

  
Two years, it had been two years since that fateful day. The feelings, the raw emotions still tore are her very spirit, and her soul, everyday. Swallowing what hope and strength had been there, and spitting it back out, forever.

  
And she would never tell anyone, not even Wufei, about how she felt. As far as he knew, she was recovering and happy, and he would never know, that a little of her spirit and her will were destroyed everyday.

  
"Tensei-chan…" she licked her lips gently, before standing up in one motion, her eyes glaring at the horizon, as if it was the cause of all her pain. "Tensei... I… I hate you! I hate you for leaving me! I hate you for letting me forget about how you felt, and I hate you being there for me! You and I shared a bond, and now you're gone! Leaving me to cradle and heal what's been broken. AND I HATE YOU FOR IT!"  
Her voice echoed, and it seemed, for the briefest of moments, that the stars darkened in their glow.  
************  
Renee sighed and slammed the window shut. She hated New York - there was never any peace. It was so noisy. All she ever wanted was a peaceful life, so why was she stuck in New York?!

  
With a faint curse, she walked over to the couch and flopped down, trying to will sleep upon her weary form.

  
'_I hate you!'_

  
"Nani?"

  
Renee sat up in the darkened room, her eyes flickering over everything present. She could have sworn she'd heard a voice....

  
She sighed softly, before tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear. Her eyes slowly drifting shut, as if she could just forget about everything. "Why would Elizabeth do that to me, she promised that there would be no more dates. And I can't see Quatre, I just can't."

  
A soft patter reached her ears and she glanced down at the blanket, which was wrapped around her, to notice that a few damp spots now were proudly born on its surface. "What..." Tentatively, her hand reached up and gently touched her cheek, only to discover the culprit of the water.

  
Tears.

  
"Nani." She whispered softly, bringing her hand away from her face and staring at the drops that glittered on her skin. "Tears? Demo, why am I crying? I don't... feel sad at all."

  
She allowed herself to fall back onto the couch, bringing a pillow to her chest as she felt more and more tears sting her eyes. She didn't deserve to sleep on a bed tonight, not after going on that date. "I'm... not sad, at all. I have no reason to… cry."

  
'_I hate...you...'_

_  
_"I have, no reason...at all." Quickly, the buried her face in the pillow and collapsed into a heap of fitful sobs.  
****************  
The room was dark, there was no light, not even a wisp of it dared to enter this forbidden place. It was darker than the darkest of nights.

  
Then again, that was the ultimate punishment and precaution wasn't it? Complete isolation. For humans long to feel the warmth of a companion by their' side, or hear someone else's voice mingling with their own. It's their basic instinct.

  
And being alone is their most primal fear.

  
Upon first glance, you would have thought that there was nothing else in this room, that it was just a dark abyss that, nothing could survive in.

  
But if you looked closer, you would see the small bed nailed to the floor in the corner, and the small toilet in the corner.

  
Or perhaps, if your eyes are really good, you would see the young man, staring down at something on the floor, his hair a tangled and greasy mess matted around his face, and an insane grin shinning grimly on his filthy face.

  
"Don't cry little girl..." he cooed, his voice seeming to shake and tremble as it echoed throughout the confined area. "Master U said he would take good care of you, very good care of you. That was why mother and father had to die, they couldn't take good enough care of you." His smile grew and his brown eyes glittered darkly. "You see, I'm not a bad person, I was just protecting you. Mother and Father couldn't have protected you well enough."

  
His hand reached out and slowly stroked a picture, as if it was an actual person. "But now, I hear that Master U is dead, killed mercilessly by his other pupil.

  
"So now." His voice began to rise, growing more and more excited with every word that left his twisted mind. "The only person that is protecting you is that other pupil, but she can't protect you. Just like mother and father couldn't. 

  
"Don't worry though, I'll take care of you. I'll kill Samantha Ling and then take you back with me, I'll never let you leave my site again.

  
"I've been watching you for a long time, all of your battles and all of your life, I've been watching. That's why I will be the one to protect you, for I know all about you, I've always been watching you.  
The laughter began softly, barely above a giggle. But it soon grew and echoed throughout the room, seeming to cast everything around it into a dark trance.

  
And in the center of the room, glittered up a picture of a tiny girl with blonde hair and brown eyes, scribbled across the bottom in messy writing were two words.

  
_Melody Foster._  
*********************  
"New York?"

  
Sally nodded, leaning back in her chair and staring at the two young people who sat before her. "Hai, Lady Une uncovered some interesting information, regarding a person being held in 'Gravity' there."

  
"The prison?" Wufei questioned, quickly flipping through the papers that had been handed to him only moments before.

  
"Hai."

  
He scowled faintly. "You're having us study a prisoner onna!?"

  
"Being held in isolation?" Musha looked up, interrupting Wufei before he could go into another one of his justice rants that she had long since become familiar with. "Why is this important? It says that whoever it is has been there for over the last ten years!"

  
Wufei stared at her, his eyes widened with faint surprise. "How do you know that?"

  
A sly smile spread across her face as she glanced at him. "Perhaps you should try reading the papers next time, ne, Fei-baka?"

  
He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her, although a faint smile was tugging at her lips. "Baka onna."

  
"Sexist baka. Now that we've established that fact, can we continue?"

  
Sally's lips curved into an amused smile, her eyes twinkling with mirth. Who would have ever thought, that these two, who up until two and a half years ago those words would have been offensive to, would have found happiness with each other, even if they never would admit it.

  
"Actually." She continued, breaking up the playful argument that had erupted after Musha's sexist baka comment. "This man is no threat to the current peace."

  
"Nani?" Wufei began flipping through the papers again, coming across a picture of the man in question, and narrowed his eyes. "Then what is the point of this mission?"

  
Sally sighed, and bit her lower lip softly before casting a quick glance to Musha. "It's more of a personal matter, to all of us. It's regarding the plane crash two years ago, Tensei's flight.

  
Rapidly, Musha's hand shot out and grasped the picture from Wufei's fist, as if it was the cause of everything, her entire body freezing the moment that her eyes rested upon the picture. "It's his fault!? Is he the one to blame!?"

  
"Musha?" Wufei gently rested a hand on her shoulder, his voice uncharacteristically soft and soothing. "Don't think that way, don't put the blame on one person. Otherwise you'll begin to live for revenge."

  
She shook her head in denial, as if that could make what she was seeing nothing more than a horrible dream. "Tensei....." Slowly, she put the picture down and leaned back in the chair. "I've already placed the blame upon someone Wufei, but I can never get revenge."

  
"Nani? Musha..."

  
Musha leaned forward in her seat, staring at the picture again. "I can be vengeful towards Tensei, I can never forgive her, but I can't make her feel what I'm feeling. I can't."  
****************  
Ring.

  
A dark eye opened just slightly, trying to conform whether the sound was reality or merely a dream.

  
Ring.

  
A annoyed groan broke through the silence and a pillow was suddenly clamped down over the persons head. Maybe if he just ignored it long enough it would go away?

  
Ring.

  
Nope.

  
Ring.

  
"Urgh...damn it to hell." Stiffly, Wufei forced himself into a sitting position, muttering curses in every language that he knew.

  
And combining the languages that both Musha and himself knew, and had 'unintentionally' taught each other, that was quite a few.

  
Ring.

  
A soft growl left his throat before he grabbed the phone and picked it up, the vid-phone image snapping to life as well, revealing a mildly surprised Quatre.

  
Wufei scowled as he felt anger burn through him. What the hell did Quatre think he was doing calling him so early in the morning. "Damnit Winner! What do you think you're doing?!"

  
Quatre frowned faintly, feeling his face flush in faint embarrassment. "Gomen nasai, Wufei, I forgot."

  
He raised an eyebrow. "Forgot what? It better be damn important for calling me this early!"

  
"Well...." If possible his face flushed more and offered a nervous smile. "I forgot about the time change. You see, it's two in the afternoon here."

  
Wufei took that statement extremely calmly, reacting in the most logical manner that, one whom had just been woken up at three in the morning would react.

  
"NANDE KUSO!" He exploded. A muffled cry and a soft thud reaching his ears before several curses echoed throughout the halls. Very similar to what Wufei had done just moments before, but Wufei was far to occupied with thinking of ways to kill Quatre to notice.

  
"You woke me up this damn early for no reason at all!"

  
"Gomen nasai Wufei! I just needed to ask you something!"

  
Managing to calm down somewhat, he clenched his teeth and glared at the image before him. Not noticing the form now leaning in the doorframe of his room. "Well, what is it?!"

  
A soft sigh escaped from Quatre's lips and he ran a hand through his hair. " I just got off the phone with Lady Une." His eyes flickered back up to Wufei's again. "Is it true that you're coming to New York?"

  
Wufei blinked. "Hai. We have a mission there.

  
"About?"

  
Frustration began to boil within his blood. How was he expected to remember something that had involved paperwork? At three in the morning no less? "How the hell should I know? Something about a weakling in isolation."

  
Quatre forced a smile on his face, trying to remain calm himself. "That's not very specific Wufei."

  
"Winner, it's three o'clock in the damn morning! What do you really want!?"

  
A light tapping reached Wufei's ears and he realized that Quatre must have been drumming his fingers on a surface where he was, as if considering something in his mind. "It's just... nothing. Goodnight Wufei."  The vid-phone went blank.

  
Wufei rolled his eyes and hung up as well, slamming the phone back on it's cradle, glaring at it as if his gaze could reach Quatre. "Damnit Winner! You call me and then don't tell me what's going on! It's... it's… an injustice that you did that, and so early!"

  
"Mmmhmm." A new voice murmured from the back of the room. "And you know what's even more of an injustice? That you had to wake me up as well with you're cursing Fei-baka!"

  
He felt his shoulders tense, before he slowly turned around to be met with the half amused, half extremely annoyed face of Musha. "You're awake."

  
"I can see you're developing a talent for stating the obvious." 

  
"Very funny onna."

  
She laughed softly, before running a hand through her hair, which spilt over her shoulders in a tangled mess. "Look, whatever Quatre really wanted to tell us, we'll find out soon enough. We leave for New York tomorrow, remember?"

  
He nodded slowly, not looking away from Musha once. "Hai, you'd better get some sleep then."

  
"Hai, I will. Goodnight Wufei." Turning around, she began to walk out of the room.

  
He watched her go. "Goodnight Musha." He turned to return to his bed as well.

  
"Oh, and Wufei?"

  
"Hmm?"

  
She smiled sweetly. "If you ever wake me up like that again, I'll kill you." At his shocked statement, she smirked before vanishing out of the room completely. "Sweet dreams!"  
***************  
Quatre leaned heavily against the table where the vid-phone lay, resting all of his weight upon his arms. "I shouldn't have called, it was rude to wake Wufei up."

  
But, why had he called? He didn't know, it was almost an instinct, a reaction. Had he come to rely upon his friends so much that he seeked their comfort whenever he was even slightly upset?

  
Just then, something fell off of his nightstand, echoing throughout the small hotel room and startling Quatre out of his thoughts. His gaze instantly flickered over to discover the source of the sound.

  
And in his minds eye, he saw a divine figure standing before him. Whether it was really there or merely a figment of his imagination, he didn't know. It just, didn't seem relevant at the time.

  
The angel didn't move, she just stood their for a moment, smiling beautifully. Her long blonde hair fanned out around her and her brown eyes leapt with untold joy, as if they were seeing things and experiencing things that Quatre himself couldn't even hope to realize.

  
And then she was gone, just like that. As if she had been no more than an illusion, or fantasy.  
"Nani?" Slowly, as if awaking from a trance. Quatre moved over to where the illusion had been only moments before then silently picked up the picture that the 'angel' had been standing over. 

  
His eyes softened faintly. "I… must be going crazy." Tensei's smiling face greeted him, frozen in time.   
It had been when the two of them had 'gone on vacation' in a sense, during the war. The two of them had been 'captured' by one of the traveling sales men there, and had been forced to get their picture taken.   
He hadn't intended on keeping it, but something about it had just seemed to stand out to him, something he couldn't quite place. And so, he'd kept it.

  
"Tensei.....why did you have to leave? You left, so many people behind." Absently, his fingers gently traced over her smiling features, as if the image were a real person that he could somehow reach, and bring back to life.

  
Maybe that was why he'd kept this picture. Her face had seemed truly happy. In times of war, such expressions so rarely graced the features of people who had lived and loved in the bloodshed of battle.  
Here though, here, in this single image, frozen in time, she seemed like any other young woman should be. 

  
Happy.

  
"That's why I kept it Tensei." Slowly standing up again, he set the picture tenderly back on his dresser. "You're smile, was by far more beautiful than an angel's."  
*****************  
"Don't tell me you're afraid!"

  
"I'm not!"

  
"Then why are you clutching the seat like that onna?"

  
"...Shut up Fei-baka!"

  
Wufei chuckled before shaking his head and leaning back in his seat, watching Musha through amused black eyes. "You were a Gundam pilot, was hurled above the earth and in space and speeds far beyond sound, and yet you're afraid of flying in an airplane!?"

  
Musha narrowed her eyes, refusing to even so much as tilt her head sideways. Her eyes remaining glued to the back of the seat in front of her. "When piloting a Gundam, I'm in control, I know what to expect, I made sure that Stars Fury was functioning properly. Here, I have none of that!"

  
"So, you're afraid, ne onna?"

  
"I am not afraid! And don't call me that!"

  
Wufei sighed and shut his eyes, letting himself relax into the seat. "So, you're going to stay like that for the entire flight?"

  
"Hai! Besides, it's far more interesting watching the stewardess hand out the food than it is looking out the window!"

  
"...It's a thirty hour flight Musha."

  
Her eyes widened with shock and her head shot around to stare at Wufei in disbelief. "NANI!? You're joking!" Suddenly, her head snapped back around to the front of the airplane again, as if suddenly realizing that she had just turned her head.

  
Smiling faintly, Wufei reached over and covered the window by his face. "It won't be that bad Musha, the flight will be over before you know it." Reaching forward, he began to rummage around in the bag that had been given to them at the start of the flight.

  
"It will be over before I know it! Ha ha...funny joke Wufei. Thirty hours don't just fly by! This is going to drag on and-"

  
She was cut off abruptly as a pair of headphones were placed over her ears, and soft music began to drift through them. Her jaw dropped faintly and she turned her head, to come face to face with Wufei. Violet meeting black for not the first time, and most certainly not the last. "Nani? Wufei."

  
He lifted one of the earphones so they could understand each other. "Just shut you're eyes and listen to the music ne? The flight will be over soon." With that said, he allowed the earphones to once again clamp around her ears, before turning and flipping through a book that he'd brought with him.

  
Musha stared at him in shock. He wasn't going to rub it in that she was afraid, or gloat about how he was able to handle it?

  
'_I guess.'_ She thought quietly, a faint smile spreading across her features. '_That everyone can surprise you.'  
_Without a word, she rest her head on Wufei's shoulder and shut her eyes, letting herself recover the sleep that was lost to her because of Quatre last night.

  
So she didn't notice the strangely tranquil statement on Wufei's face as she did that, nor did she notice the ever so faint blush upon his features.  
************  
"You're seasick?"

  
Duo sat down and rested his head between his knee's, nodding his head ever so slightly.

  
" I don't believe this! The mighty Duo is actually sick!" Elizabeth put her hand out and leaned against the wall, her hair fluttering in the ever-constant sea breeze. "And here I thought that nothing could affect you, sexy."

  
Duo held up one finger "I will respond to that, as soon as the world stops spinning."

  
Shaking his head, Quatre shifted his gaze to the gray ocean, the wind blowing his hair out of his troubled eyes, giving him a perfect view of the world before him. 

  
Seagulls swooped and dove, as if participating in some secret dance that people couldn't understand. The waves gently lapped at the side of the boat as the rays of the setting sun reflected upon them.

  
'_It's so strange _he reflected quietly, narrowing his eyes as if trying to see something upon the horizon. '_No one even remembers anymore. It's as if the war has been erased from everyone's mind. Leaving only those who lost someone, to remember. Or those who are lost.'_

_  
_He turned his head and slowly began to walk to the front of the ship. "It's only a breath, that separates those that are here now, and those that are lost."

  
Soft footsteps greeted his ears and, hesitantly, a form stepped into his field of view, leaning against the front of the ship, as he was doing now. "Is something wrong Quatre-san?"

  
"No." He didn't so much as glance her way for a moment, he just continued staring, saying nothing.

  
Renee bit her lip and leaned over the bow of the ship, watching the water crash against the front as it cut through the waves. What was she doing here? Elizabeth had somehow talked her into coming on another date, but why was she here, with the one person that she wanted to avoid more than anyone else?  
Elizabeth was a good friend, she really was, even if she didn't seem to understand anything half of the time.   
She had no right to go back on her promises, or to try and live Renee's life for her. It was Renee's life. Her mistakes, opportunities, chances, joys, sorrows, all of them were her experiences, her memories! All of them! She was here to find herself, and to live her life on her own, her way! Elizabeth just didn't seem to understand that.

  
Still, it was true that Elizabeth had dragged her on ANOTHER date, but, she could have still easily avoided Quatre. Why was she here?

  
"Miss Renee" Quatre's soft voice sliced through her thoughts, bringing her back to reality. 

  
"Yes?"

  
He paused. "What were you doing during the war?"

  
Renee involuntarily froze, her fingers clenching the railing. She couldn't talk about this! Not now, not yet. She was trying to escape that... "The war?" 

  
"Yes?" He turned to look at her, his eyes searching her own, and Renee felt a chill pass through her. It felt as if he was inspecting her, as if he could look into her soul and find out every truth about her being.   
She sighed softly and bowed her head. "I'm sorry, Quatre, but, I..."

  
"You won't tell me?" 

  
"No, I just… can't talk about this...right now. Not yet... I'm sorry." She looked up again, her entire statement placid, but beneath all of that there was a twinge of desperation. "Please try to understand that..."

  
His eyes flickered then he nodded. "I'm sorry, Renee, I shouldn't have upset you."

  
It felt to Quatre as if two things were fighting for control within him. One was set to find out why Renee felt so familiar to him, who or what she reminded him of, while the other just wanted to leave her alone, not just for herself but for him as well. For he was afraid that if he starting searching her for answers, he would find some deep, hidden secret that he would regret discovering.

  
A small trembling smile spread across her face. "Thank you... did you… loose someone in the war, Quatre?"

  
"Yes." He murmured, as if lost within memories. "Someone that... was very close to my heart." He placed a hand over his heart, his eyes distant. "I ... wish she was here, to see this." he gestured to the sea. "Hiiro and Relena with their child, the smiles on the peoples faces, the peace she helped to ensure."

  
"I-I'm sure...that she knows Quatre." Renee looked away, unsure of what to say and feeling a faint blush spread across her cheeks. 

  
"Hey Love Birds!"

  
Two sets of eyes swerved to be met with a frantically waving Elizabeth in the distance. "Hey! Hate to interrupt your moment, but the trips over! We're pulling into port!" She stepped back and looked at the now green Duo with a raised eyebrow. "Not a moment to soon either."

  
Quatre's eyes widened and he glanced down at his watch. "That's right!" Turning his gaze to the fast approaching shore, he ran a hand through his wind blown hair. "I said that I'd meet them at this port."

  
"Wait a minute..." Renee also turned her gaze to the shore, feeling fear begin to surface within her blood.  "They?"  
***********************  
Musha yawned loudly, leaning against the wall and looking as if she was about to fall asleep right there. "Someone tell me who invented time zones so I can go and kill them."

  
"Hmm?" Wufei looked behind him and smirked faintly. "If it were otherwise the sun would be setting at seven in the morning tomorrow"

  
She blinked her sleepy violet eyes and shook her head. "Wufei, I haven't slept in thirty hours, don't try and teach me about time zones right now."

  
He chuckled again and shook his head. "Baka onna."

  
"I heard that!"

  
"Matte!" Wufei looked ahead, breaking up the potential argument. "I see him."

  
"Thank Kami." Musha forced herself to step away from her wall support and step next to Wufei. "Maybe we can actually get some sleep now!"

  
Wufei just shook his head as the head of platinum blonde hair could be seen moving in the crowd until Quatre could be seen standing right in front of him.

  
"Gomen nasai Wufei, Musha-san. We just got off of the boat..."

  
"It's about time you got here Quatre."  muttered Musha, glaring through her long bangs. "It's... an injustice that you're keeping us awake!"

  
"Hey Musha-babe!" Duo grinned as he stepped into view, no longer the pale green color, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "You 'ought to stop hanging around Wu-man so much! He's rubbing off of you!"

  
"Don't call me that!" Musha blinked and then flushed faintly realizing that both her and Wufei had said that at the same time.

  
Duo laughed. "See!"

  
"So these are the famous Wufei and Musha that I've heard so much about." Elizabeth smiled slyly and stepped next to Duo, before whispering into his ear "You're right, they do make a cute couple."

  
Quartre shook his head, noticing the obvious discomfort of both Musha and Wufei. "As I said, I'm sorry that I'm late. The boat ride was longer than I expected it to be. You already know Duo demo, this is Elizabeth, a friend of Renee's and Duo's."

  
Wufei raised an eyebrow. "Boat?"

  
Flushing faintly, Quatre sighed. "Hai, it was some sort of club, and I went there with-"

  
"A CLUB!?" Musha gawked at Quatre in disbelief, all of her exhaustion forgotten. "A club... you, as in a date?"

  
Before Quatre could respond, Duo jumped in, slinging a arm over Quatre's shoulder. "Hai! Q-man here has been going on a few dates with Renee!" He grinned again. "What about you two? Have you gone on a date yet? You've only been living together for two years! Don't tell me you're to weak to ask her Wu-man!"

  
"Wait a minute." Musha held up a hand, not noticing Wufei's embarrassment and totally ignoring Duo. "You're dating, Quatre? Already? I mean...someone other than... Tensei?"

  
"Look, can we please talk about business?" Quatre's voice came out quickly, as if trying to cover something up. But sorrow and guilt flickered in the depths of his eyes.

  
Musha stared at him in shock, her statement darkening with anger. "I thought... the two of you shared a stronger bond than that..."

  
"Musha..."

  
"Hey!" Elizabeth looked around. "Where's Renee?"  
***************  
She ran, willing her legs to go faster and paying no heed to the burning in her lungs and legs. She had a chance to get away and she was as sure as hell going to take it!  
***************  
Wufei paused before entering, casting a quick glance to Musha who was standing right behind him. "Are you sure you want to go in-"

  
"Hai!" She snapped, eyes hardening. She'd been that way ever since they'd spoken with Quatre last night. "I can handle it."

  
The two of them stepped inside, none of them showing their obvious discomfort or uncertainty. Although, Wufei was making sure to stay a step or two in front of Musha, as if trying to protect her.

  
As they past, an officer looked up and nodded. Without so much as a word, he pushed a button and opened a heavily locked door, allowing the two of them to enter into the darkened room.  In the center sat a man, not moving. Just, sitting there, muttering to himself.

  
"This is the person we're suppose to question." Wufei looked at the person before them, his face disgusted. "We'll be lucky to get so much as a name out of him."

  
Just then, he looked up, his eyes wild. "You shouldn't whisper! 'Cause I can hear everything you say!"  
He lay back on the floor and said in a singsong voice. "I know everything!"

  
"Right." Musha murmured, her eyes finally adjusting to the dark. "Do you know who we are then?"

  
"Of course!" He sat up again and pointed a twisted finger at Musha. "You're the murderer! Samantha Ling!"


	4. Chapter Three I Fought Against Myself

Author's Notes: (Tensei) * takes a deep breath *  OOOKIE!  Wells, this is what happens when Tensei gets carried away!  I wrote 214k, people!  **214k!!!!**  In… * counts * About a week!  This is a record for me, so give me a pat on the back!  Pweese?  I ended up having to split it into 2 chapters, so… review, and I'll post the next part!

Kudos:  Okie… now, no one can write so much without a little(LOT) bit of assistance, ne?  

Musha-chan: For encouraging me as I wrote this, keeping my hopes up!  And just for always being there for me!  You are so valuable to me, don't you EVER leave or I'll hurt you.  ^^  Oh, and P.S.   YOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOU (this is revenge for last night) YOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOU!!!!!!

Karen: Babe!  You're the greatest!  Thank you for sharing your vast knowledge of criminology and… erm, yeah.  You knew a little TOO much about all this business with the alcohol.  O.o  Be good, k?

Susie Bek:  Thank you for confirming that my mind is not merely in the gutter – it's swimming in the septic tank, trying to rescue yours from drowning.

Marika Webster: * squeals * My first and coolest onee-san!  * glomps and bakes cookies*  Thank you SO much for encouraging me, and helping me through this!  * glomps and sobs * I don't know how I would have gotten through this without your wackiness and fun lectures!  You deserve way more than that Trowa fanart that I drew for ya.  * wink *

~*~*~*~*~

Tainted Dream

Chapter Three

~*~*~*~*~

Renee sighed as she walked through the long hall down towards her own apartment.  She absentmindedly ran her fingers though her tangled hair and glanced down at her watch.  It was already eleven-thirty AM.  She was tired, so tired!  What was happening to her!  Everything had been fine until HE came.  Why did she even let Elizabeth do this to her?  She was perfectly happy, wasn't she?

She finally got inside her small apartment and collapsed onto the sofa.  She didn't feel that her legs would make it all the way to her bed.  She would rest for a bit…  She had spent the entire night running.  She wasn't exactly sure why.  What was she running from?  Quatre's friends?  Having to face even MORE people?  Or was it something else?  Something… deeper?

For hours and hours, she did nothing but run.  She didn't even know where she was going, nor did she care.  Was this how she would live her life from now on?  Running from her fears?  Her uncertainty?  She hated this about herself, but she couldn't deny the absolute fear that had taken over her soul.

But now, she was back home.  Her little adventure was over, and it was time for her to once again face the daily routine of her life.  There was no escaping who she was, but still, she fought against herself.

Sleep.  That was what she needed now, and she had time for it too.  Elizabeth had blurted out something about going somewhere else tonight, but she didn't even hear her as her mind was focused on getting away.  Oh well.  She allowed her eyelids to flutter shut and curled up on her sofa, surrendering to the peace of slumber, and the nightmares of her soul.

~*~*~*~*~

"How'd it go?" Sally asked the pair as they emerged from the prison.  "Did you get any information?"   The only responses she earned was a growl from Wufei, and a glare from Musha.  All right… something was wrong.  "Come on, you two!" she picked up her pace to catch up with them, "I need to know what happened!"

"Nothing." Wufei's voice remained steady as if he was making an obvious statement, and how dare Sally even bother him about something so trivial anyway?  "Absolutely nothing."

"Fei-baka…" Even in stressful times, Musha never failed to use her favorite nickname for the Chinese man.  It had become as second nature to her.  "A lot happened, only… it wasn't quite what we expected.  When can we set up a meeting?"

Sally looked at her watch and nodded.  "How about in an hour?  I've reserved a conference room at the hotel for a week."

"That sounds fine.  See you then."

~*~*~*~*~

Duo made a face as a strange smell invaded his senses. Without so much of a word, he reached over and swiftly extracted the offending cigarette from between Elizabeth's lips and deposited it into a nearby trashcan.  

"Hey!" the said woman glared at the braided man, reaching into her purse for another, "What the hell did you do that for?"  She grinned triumphantly as she located the small package.

"Ah ah ah!" Duo scolded her as if she were a three year old as he reached over, and wrenched the box from Elizabeth's death grip, crushing it in his hand and tossing it into the can with the first.  

"Duo!" Elizabeth just glared at him, "Come on!  I needed that!"

Duo shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest.  "I'm just doing this for your own good, sweetie.  You're too young to get wrinkles anyway."  She still didn't look convinced, but Duo was determined.  "You know, King James I called tobacco a "vile weed."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes.  "And I suppose that some ancient dead guy is supposed to know better than I do?" She just glared at Duo as he nodded his head matter-of-factly.  "Moron…"

"Hey!  Come on, babe!  I'm only doing this 'cuz I love ya!  You know I'd do anything for you?"

Elizabeth's eyes lit up.  "Anything?"

"Woah woah woah…" Duo suddenly regretted his choice of words, "You know what I meant, sweetheart.  I just want to make sure you're healthy."

"MmHmm…" Elizabeth just nodded slowly and circled around him like a vulture, eyeing him carefully.

"Okay, babe?  You're… really starting to creep me out now."

Grinning brightly, Elizabeth launched herself at Duo and enveloped him in her arms.  "Duo!!!  Honey???  Will you help me plot and plan some more evil?"

Duo backed away as far as he could and winced at the thought.  Usually what this girl defined as evil, other people defined as "despicable and satanic".  He was officially worried.  He shouldn't ask, right?  Screw that, he was still curious.  "What kind of 'evil'?"

"Oh, just a little bit of mischief.  Just another date for Renee and Quatre."

"I thought that Renee didn't want to go on any more dates."  In fact, he had recalled hearing her say something to Elizabeth on the boat… something to the effect of 'If you ever dare set anything up like this again, I'll take these darned high heeled shoes and shove them down your throat!'

"Nah…" she just shook her head and waved her hand, "Don't worry.  She'll come.  If I surprise her last minute and tell her that I've already prepared everything, she'll come.  She can't say no to someone who's put themselves to a lot of trouble for her."

"Well." He shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned back against the wall, "What did you have in mind?"

The sly grin that crossed Elizabeth's face made Duo very nervous.  "Remember that bar where we met?"

At that moment, Duo broke down laughing.  "A BAR?!  Babe, you and I BOTH know that there's no way in hell that we can get those two to drink!  I mean, I don't know Renee all that well, but I know that Quatre avoids the stuff like a plague!"

"Aaawww… come on, Duo!  We can pull this off!  They'll probably do it!  They may be a bit hesitant, but all we need to do is nudge them in the right direction and let the alcohol take them from there!"

Duo looked at her strangely and crocked his head to the side.  "Are we talking about the same thing, here?"

Elizabeth's grin only widened.  "Maybe we can get them a teeny bit… tipsy?  That's how our relationship started, you know."

Duo frowned slightly.  "Yeah… that's the problem.  I DON'T remember.  All I remember was waking up with a hangover, and a hot chick in my arms.  I don't think that those two would appreciate that kind of experience.  They're too… proper for that sort of thing.  And 'tipsy' isn't quite the appropriate word.  Try downright pissed!"

"Oh, come on!  They don't have to SLEEP with each other, just get a teeny bit cozy!  Even if it's just a little bit of supporting each other to steady one another!  Come on, Duo!  You know that they both need this!"

"I don't know about this, Liz.  There's another factor to consider."

"And what would that be, Duo?  Come on, nothing can stand in our way!"

Duo raised his hand and shook a scolding finger.  "Oh, yes!  Remember the chick that got all pissed off when she found out that Quatre went on a date with Renee?"  Elizabeth simply nodded, seemingly not understanding the conflict, so he continued, "Well, this chick may appear to be sweet as sugar, but she's got a bad ass attitude if you piss her off.  I'm serious. She's a highly trained assassin.  You don't want to get on her bad side."

Elizabeth pretended to pout and sighed.  "Well, then…" she thought for a moment, then perked up as she got an idea.  "I'll just take Renee, as if it was going to be just us, and we'll just happen to run in to you and blondie!"

Duo sighed and slumped down in defeat.  "You're not going to give up, are you?"

~*~*~*~*~*~

"So, what do we know about this guy so far?" Sally folder her hands and leaned forward on the conference table, watching the others intently.  

"Colin Foster.  Twenty-six years old." Musha read off the files in a flat tone, not seeming to have any particular interest in his past.  What she wanted to know was how he knew her, how he recognized her!  Nevertheless, she focused on her task.  "When he was thirteen years old, his parents were killed – shot to death when they awoke to find burglars in their home.  The children were spared, but they took his younger sister, Melody, age five.  Years passed, and she still hadn't been found, not even a body." She paused for a moment, willing her own tears to stay inside.  Now was not the time to get weepy, it just wasn't the time!  But she couldn't help but feel sorry for this family.  Like her own, they had been ripped apart without mercy.  She hated those responsible for such pain, and she had made it her own personal mission to hunt down such criminals and do away with them.

When Wufei noticed that Musha had stopped talking, he took the folder from her hands and resumed from where she left off.  "Four years later, at age seventeen, Colin Foster had discovered the meeting place of a local gang that was notorious for their kidnapping and selling of children.  Convinced that they knew something about his sister, he armed himself and attacked them without warning.  He was soon apprehended and psychologists confirmed that he suffered from a severe case of schizophrenia.  He single-handedly killed two of the gang members with no remorse."

"So, why is he in isolation?" Sally wondered aloud, sitting up straight, "I would assume that he would have served a normal sentence."

Musha shook her head and retrieved the folder, all emotion not forgotten, but pushed aside for now.  "During one of his psychological reviews, he managed to break free of his handcuffs and strangle the psychologist to death, before the guard could even make it into the room.  He was deemed too dangerous to live in a facility where he was free to have contact with any other people.  Over the years, his condition worsened."  Musha's eyes darkened now as she thought of what went on when she and Wufei went to see him.  They had been his only visitors in years.  

"So…" Duo blinked a couple of times, trying to make sense of the situation, "This guy hasn't had any contact with anyone, besides the guards, for the last ten years, but we're investigating him for an attack that took place two years ago?"

"Well," Musha began to answer, with a sigh.  This was the hard part.  "Some of the guards claim that Colin Foster possesses some kind of telepathic ability.  Many of them recall being taunted with a voice that they all knew to be his.  If this is true, he could easily have been contacting someone from the outside all this time."

"So what motive would he have to destroy this plane?" Hiiro asked, a hint of curiosity could be detected in his usually monotone voice, "He killed the men that he saw as enemies."

"Some of them." Sally added, "But the leader of the gang survived, didn't he?"

Musha nodded.  "And he was on that flight."

"All right.  So tell us what happened when you two interviewed him.  What did he say?"

"He said nothing."  Wufei stubbornly crossed his arms over his chest and turned away angrily, as Musha just sighed.

"He recognized me as Samantha Ling, and called me a murderer.  After that, he didn't say anything else."

"Samantha Ling was your original name, wasn't it?" Hiiro questioned as Musha just nodded.  "How could he know you, then?"

"I don't know.  He just… did."

"Then could the crash have had anything to do with Tensei?  I mean, you two are connected, and he had never even seen you before."

Musha shook her head.  "It's unlikely.  Tensei's ticket was dated for the very morning of her flight.  It wouldn't have been enough time for him to plan something like this."

"That's true." Hiiro nodded, taking another drink of his coffee, "But we should at least keep that in mind.  It may be handy to know later on down the road."

"All right." Sally stood up and pushed her chair back underneath the table.  "So everyone knows about this guy.  We'll start questioning old friends of his.  See what you can find out, all right?"  Everyone else nodded and got up as well.

Musha remained silent, glaring slightly when Quatre met her gaze.  She was still mad at him.  No, mad was an understatement.  Furious and enraged was more like it.  He had remained silent through the entire meeting, which she saw as a good thing.  She was afraid that she would challenge anything he said.

Do, taking notice of the dangerous glare stepped between the two and grabbed Quatre by the arm.  "Hey, Q-man!  We've gotta get going!  We're going out tonight!"

"Huh?" The first sound that Quatre made all afternoon, but he was still confused.  

"We're going out, just us guys, all right?  You need this, and you know it!"  
  
"Duo, I'm not so sure…" He didn't even get a chance to finish before Duo dragged him away.

~*~*~*~*~

Renee stared down at the glass before her.  It was filled half way with a strange looking brownish substance, and its smell was even less appealing - bitter and rancid.  She squinted her eyes, as if she could better analyze the makeup of the liquid by doing so.  No such luck.  The substances used to compose this strange concoction would forever be a mystery, unless…  

She turned her head slightly and focused on Elizabeth, who was chatting up a storm with that braided friend of hers.  How did she know him in the first place?  Renee just shrugged and turned back to face the offensive looking drink and just stared at it, as if she could will it to disappear.

She moved her gaze to the man across from her and watched him for a moment.  He seemed to be as bewildered as she was about this place.  This place, that was in her mind very dirty and indecent.  She assumed that Quatre shared her feelings.

She didn't even quite remember how she got here.  She was sitting at home, wallowing in her own self-pity when Elizabeth burst inside, something that her friend had grown accustomed to in the last few days.  Another outfit was shoved into her hands and orders to change were promptly issued.  It was a short, leather skirt, and a sleeveless, coppery red shirt, that was cut way too low AND too high for her taste.  Two black, lace up boots were forced onto her feet, and a pair of sunglasses pulled her hair out of her eyes, resting on top of her head.  She looked dreadful!  However, it only took minimal threats and blackmail for Elizabeth to finally get Renee to go out in public like this.

It appeared that Duo was much nicer to Quatre.  He let the blonde man get away with denim jeans and a navy blue polo shirt.  Duo and Elizabeth wore almost identical outfits, black pants, white t-shirts and black leather jacket.  Those two were strange, Renee could definitely attest to that.  She was told that they had a relationship long ago, she wondered why it never worked out.

"Well?" Elizabeth's too-perky-for-comfort voice interrupted the other woman's thoughts.  

Renee blinked and looked blankly at her friend.  "Well what?"

"You haven't touched your drink!"  Elizabeth spoke as if Renee had committed some atrocious crime, she heard this tone used by her friend often.

Renee pretended to look surprised and gasped.  "You mean you drink this?"

"No, babe.  You bathe in it." Duo added sarcastically, then shook his head, "Of COURSE you drink it!"

"Maybe she doesn't want to drink it." Quatre offered, shoving his glass as far away from him as his arm would allow, "It does smell rather… repulsive."

Elizabeth sighed and shook her head.  "You two are no fun!  We really wanted you to have a good time tonight!  It would be terribly disappointing if you didn't enjoy yourselves!"

"Besides!" Duo added, "You guys only have beer.  It's nothing compared to a nice shot of Absolute!"

"Please, Renee?" Elizabeth had finally resorted to begging.  Renee had actually expected this long ago.  With a sigh, the younger woman hesitantly took a sip from her glass and made a face.

"This tastes awful!"

"Just finish this glass!  That's ALL, okay?  After that, I won't bug you again!" There was something about her tone of voice and the way that her sly grin never faded that made Renee nervous, but what choice did she have? This woman was an expert at blackmail.

"You too, Q-man!"  Duo added with a goofy grin, "If the lady does it, you should too!"

Quatre looked nervously down at his own drink.  Since Renee was being forced into this, he did feel a sense of obligation to suffer this injustice alongside her.  After all, it was only fair, right?  With a sigh, the man shook his head and took a sip of the liquid, making a face that matched that of the previously disgusted girl.

"That's a boy!" Duo applauded Quatre and gave him a rough pat on the back.  "See?  Another step towards manhood!  Boy, if Wufei could see you now!"

~*~*~*~*~

Renee squinted her emerald green eyes at her watch, finding it particularly hard to make out the numbers that she so often read with no trouble at all.  Eleven P.M?  Or was that One A.M?  She couldn't tell.  Deciding that either one would still mean that it was too late to stay out, she lifted her gaze to her friends.  "Hey guys…" the 's' at the end of her phrase lingered lazily as she felt the room spinning around her.  "I think we should get home or we'll miss the Easter bunny!"

Elizabeth broke down in laughter at this point.  Her plan had worked!  Quatre and Renee's drinks were not really beer, but a carefully mixed rum and coke.  The bubbles had been stirred out of the coke, and the flavor was still bitter enough that these two first-time drinkers wouldn't be able to tell the difference anyway.  This combination would certainly be enough to send both victims beyond reason, and Renee was giving a beautiful example of this.  Quatre, on the other hand, showed no signs of being anything less than perfectly sober.  He didn't even seem tired or dazed, just watched Renee, every once in a while shaking his head in disapproval.

"Woah, babe!" Duo leaned back in his chair, his entire frame shaking with laughter, "You've got it bad, huh?"

"This was wrong." Quatre broke in, his tone one of disappointment and annoyance, "You two knew that she would get drunk, didn't you?"  His eyes narrowed at the guilty couple, giving them a glimpse of one of Quatre's rare angry faces.

"Sorry, Quatre…" Elizabeth managed, still unable to control her laughter, "We didn't know that she'd get this bad." She looked back to Renee, who was making shadow puppets – in the dark room, then looked back to Quatre, who was still level.  "I just want to know… why didn't the alcohol effect you?"

"Part of my training as a Gundam pilot.  I'm immune to many drugs, alcohol being one of them."

"Oh yeah…" Duo sunk into his seat, "Sorry, Quat.  We just wanted you two to have a little bit of fun!"

Quatre shook his head, clearly fending off a headache.  This was all too much, and the loud music blasting in the background didn't help any.  "I'm taking her home."  He reached down and grabbed one of Renee's arms, pulling her to her feet and helping to balance her as she tottered from side to side.

Renee fixed her eyes on Quatre and looked at him curiously.  Only a moment later, did she break out in a huge grin.  "Quatre!  You never told me that you had a twin!"

Quatre threw one last glare at the other two, before slinging her arm over his shoulder, and wrapping his free arm around her waist.  "I'll see you two tomorrow." He muttered as he made his way through the crowds, dragging the poor girl along with him, trying his hardest not to trip over her wandering feet.

"Damn…" Duo commented once the two blondes were out of earshot, "That was a mistake.  I knew that he'd get pissed off."

"No…" Elizabeth corrected him, her eyes still glowing with mirth, "You thought that he'd get drunk too.  Then they'd wake up the next morning and hopefully have no recollection of tonight's activities!  But SOMEONE forgot that a certain someone ELSE can't GET drunk!" She crossed her arms and leaned back in her seat, a proud grin on her face, "And I'm not the one who's screwed, 'cuz Renee is going to forget ALL about this tomorrow.  But YOU, on the other hand…"

"No way!" Duo raised his arms defensively, "You're not gonna leave me hanging!  We were in this together!  If I go down, I'm taking you with me!"

"Sorry, sexy." Elizabeth stood and winked at the braided man, "You're on your own." That said, she turned and left quickly, leaving poor Duo to ponder his own inevitable fate.  Shaking his head, he ordered himself another drink.  He was going to need it.

~*~*~*~*~

"What does this button do?" a slender finger reached out and pressed one of the many buttons on the stereo in Quatre's rental car.  The speakers blared with some kind of hard rock music, causing Quatre to swerve momentarily, before finally getting the car back under control and turning off the music.  

"Please don't touch anything, Renee." He said, wrapping a free hand around her wrist that moved out to turn on the radio again.  "We're almost home."

Renee grinned and leaned back.  "Okie…" she sang, looking at Quatre and staring at him.

He did his best to ignore her, focusing on the road.  But there was something about this woman that unnerved him, but why?  He had only known her for a few days now, but there was just something strangely familiar about her.  As if he had met her before.  At a conference, maybe?  He had only been to about ten thousand in his lifetime.  

He breathed a sigh of relief when they finally reached her apartment building.  Quatre stopped the car, then walked around and helped Renee out.  "You'll go right to sleep now, right?"

Renee blinked and looked at her watch. "But it's 2 o'clock!  Morning time!"

Quatre shook his head and walked her inside, fumbling through her purse for her keys, reasoning that it was okay for him to do this, as at this moment, Renee couldn't tell the difference between her keys and her lipstick.  It only took him a moment to open the door and help the young woman inside.  "Just go to sleep, Renee, alright?"

Renee just grinned.  "Why???"

"Gods…" Quatre sighed and shut the door, "I'm gonna kill them for this, okay?  I promise."

Renee took her hand and pointed it to Quatre like a gun.  "BANG!" she giggled and spun around, "I just saved Relena Peacecraft!"

Quatre's eyes went wide as a memory from years ago hit him head-on. 

~*~

She spotted a smirk on her target's face as he pulled something shiny from his coat pocket.   This was it. It's now or never. She pulled the trigger, sending the bullet flying towards his hands, knocking the gun down as he cried out in pain.

~*~

What was this that Quatre felt from this woman?  Something… that had been waiting to break free?  On the outside, Renee appeared as a giggly, silly girl who needed a good tranquilizer dart to calm her down, but from her soul, he could feel unspeakable pain and despair as well as her own memories.

"Oh! And don't forget this!" Renee suddenly launched herself at the helpless former Gundam pilot, effectively pinning him to the floor.  "Remember that?"

"What?!"

~*~

'Oh well,' she thought, 'It's now or never.' she jumped into the room, accidentally landing on the blonde guard.

"All right, Quatre!" the braided guard shouted.

~*~

"All right, Quatre!" Renee squealed, finally rolling off of the stunned man and onto the floor, clutching her sides as she now found it painful to laugh.  

Quatre just sat up then stared down at her in stunned silence.  She… no!  She could be…?  No!  It was impossible!!  "Miss Williams?  Are you all right?"

Renee shook her head and sat up.  "Quatre!  I've told you time and time again NOT to call me 'miss'!"

"No… You've… never said that to me."  Quatre was beyond confusion now.  These memories that he felt from her... he knew them! Who was she?

"Yes." She corrected him matter-of-factly.  "You ALWAYS called me 'Miss Tensei', and I ALWAYS told you NOT to!"

Quatre's skin turned a ghostly white.  Tensei?  But… "Tensei is… dead!" he finished aloud, eyes wide as saucers.  

Renee shook her head and grinned.  "Nope.  Everyone THINKS that Tensei is dead!  They thought that she went to Tokyo and her plane crashed when in FACT, she came right here to New York!" Her eyes darted around the room for a minute before she grinned once more and pointed to herself.  "And here she is!"

In a moment… the blink of an eye – everything happened.  Quatre's world both collapsed and came together, was destroyed and resurrected, was made wrong and right at the same time.  It… couldn't be.  That was… impossible!  But… She had died!  It was impossible!

"Ouch.  That hurt…" Renee rubbed her chest where she had previously poked herself.  "Maybe I should trim my nails?"

Quatre shook his head in disbelief and just stared at her.  The plane ticket that Tensei had dropped was… a decoy?  So, the death of his friend and the destruction of his soul had all been nothing but a lie?  Tensei was alive after all?  There must have been some mistake.  She was, after all, too drunk to stand straight, but still – he couldn't help but wonder… 

It took a moment before he finally got his voice to work again.  Taking a deep, shaking breath he reached out and gently took Renee's wrist into his hand, looking into her emerald green eyes.  Green eyes… Tensei had brown eyes.  He shook his head and continued, nonetheless.  "Tensei?"

The woman just grinned.  "I'm a smart cookie, ain't I?" She turned away for a moment, lifting her hands to her face, then turned back a moment later, showing off her deep, chocolate colored eyes, holding a pair of color-contacts in her hands.  "All it takes is a 'lil hair dye and some contacts, and you can be a new you!"  

She stopped for a moment and tilted her head to the side, studying Quatre's face curiously, then carefully she reached a hand out, gently tracing her fingertip along a wet line on his cheek.  He was crying.

He had never admitted to himself just how much he cared for her until after she died, and in his eyes, that was unforgivable.  He had never allowed himself the luxury of crying, of releasing the sorrow that had built up over the years and slowly choked him out of his very life.

"You're crying…" she said softly, regarding the tears with such reverence that you'd think she had never seen any before, "Why are you crying, Quatre?"

"Is it you?" he whispered back, closing his eyes as his own hand reached out and traced her features.  "Is it really Tensei?"

Her eyes widened suddenly as everything finally processed.  Her secret was out, but her mind was still clouded with alcohol.  "I'm Tensei Williams." She shook her head, that wasn't right!  "Renee Jiaino!  I'm… I'm…" the color seemed to drain from her skin as reality hit her hard from above.  Her life as Renee Williams was over… she'd failed.

Nothing else was said.  A small sob pierced through the silence and arms flew, as two old friends, two souls embraced eachother once more.


	5. Chapter Four Portrait of an Apology

Author's Notes: (Tensei) Okie!  Here is part 2 of my stuff.  ^^*  I'm so proud of myself! * grin *  The kudos from the previous chapter apply to this one…  ^^  * HuGz everyone*  PLEASE let me know what you think!

The song is called "Portrait of an Apology" by Jars of Clay.  I don't own them. * pout *

~*~*~*~*~*~

Tainted Dream

Chapter Four

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ring.

'Damnit…'

Ring.

'No!  Not this again!

Ring.

"Shimatta!" Wufei didn't care how many people he woke with his outburst.  It was three in the morning, and his phone was ringing – again!  He slowly made his way over to the phone, hoping that the caller would give up after too many rings, but by the tenth one, it became obvious that the person on the other line would not give up.

He slowly brought the receiver to his ear, and instead of the traditional "Hello." said what he sincerely wished for that person at that time.  "Go to hell."

"Wufei." The voice on the other end came as no more than a whisper, "Wufei, it's Quatre."

"Damnit, Winner." The Chinese man groaned and leaned back against the wall, "If you weren't usually such an honest and altogether good guy, you'd have my katana up your ass right about now.  What the hell do you want this time?  It'd better not be nothi-"

"Wufei!  You have to listen to me!" Quatre's voice was a little more desperate this time, and Wufei shut his mouth, "Wufei.  I'm at Renee's apartment right now."

Wufei growled and clenched his fist.  What in the hell was he doing there?!  If Musha found out, she'd have a conniption fit!  "Winner, I do not want to hear about this!"

"No!  Wufei!  Please listen to me!" He took a deep breath and paused for a moment, reassuring himself that it would be wise to tell him… it was okay.  "Tensei is alive."

~*~*~*~*~

Look what I've done

This picture I've painted

It looks like my heart

Or what still remains

Convinced of the weight

Your interpretations

Are not what I see

I wish they could be

I remember it much redder

I remember it much brighter

~*~*~*~*~

"Wufei.  What is the meaning of this?" Musha fumbled with her boots, trying to maneuver around Wufei's hands that were trying to pull her hair back for her, but the poor man couldn't get it through his head that working with long, curly hair was not the same as working with short, straight hair.  Nevertheless, Wufei succeeded in tying it all behind her head, even though it DID look like a rats' nest.

"Wufei!  Just let go of me!" Musha pushed him away and stood up, walking to the mirror and fixing her own hair.  "Why are you in such a rush?!  It's just lunch!  You don't have any reservations or anything, do you?"

"No, I just… well, we have to go."

Musha sighed and took her time, carefully placing the curls into a loose ponytail.  "Just calm down, all right?  I'll be ready in a few minutes."

She was right.  It was only thirty minutes later that they were finally seated, and handed their menus, but Musha just watched Wufei.  Something was off about him today.  He seemed… agitated.  He couldn't stop fidgeting, and every so often, he would open his mouth to say something, but close it quickly.  This lasted for about ten minutes when Musha finally decided to get to the bottom of it.

"What's wrong, Wufei?"

"Nothing."

"Something's bothering you."

"Nothing is bothering me."

"Tell me."

"I don't want to."  Musha couldn't help but smile when she saw how the Chinese man crossed his arms and pouted like a child when he said that.  She had always known that inside that proud, sexist man, there was a child, with a bad temper too.

"Wufei… please.  I want to know what's going on."  Fine.  If he was going to act like a child, she would act as the scolding mother.  

With a sigh, Wufei moved his body forward and caught both of Musha's hands in his own.  His eyes locked on to hers and she could see that all stubbornness was gone, replaced with nothing but seriousness.  "Musha, I have to tell you something, and you're not going to believe me at first, but… just listen, all right?"

Musha looked at him curiously.  What could be so important?  She simply nodded and waited for him to continue.

"Tensei is living right here, in New York City."

Musha's eyes went wide as her heart started beating faster and faster, even her adrenal glands found it hard to keep up to produce the necessary hormone needed to sustain this girl as her mind raced.  It took her a moment before she could speak, but after a few tries, she managed to make a sound.  "How?  She's… she's dead."

"The receipt that you found was a decoy.  She had intended for us to believe that she was living in Japan so that she could never be contacted."  His eyes softened when he saw the expression on Musha's face.  He could feel her confusion and the urgency that seemed to radiate from her skin.  "Quatre called me early in the morning and told me all about it.  She was… drunk at the time, so he's going to take care of her until she's feeling a bit better, then I'll take you over to see her."

"No!" Musha jumped up out of her chair, ignoring the stares that she received from other people in the restaurant, "Take me there now!"

"Musha…" Wufei stood and drew her into his arms, "Now is not the time.   I just wanted to tell you first, okay?"

"When can we go?"

"In a few hours… Quatre said he was going to let her sleep as much as possible.  She got trashed last night, and she's going to have a lot of emotion to deal with when she sees you, all right?  Just give her a bit of time."

"No!  Wufei!  I want to see her now!  Otherwise, I can't believe you!  This is just too…" she shook her head, unable to find an appropriate word to express how she saw this as.  She just stopped, and took ragged breaths.  "It's… she's…" Musha was going into shock, and Wufei could see that clearly.

He took her into his arms and helped her to sit back down, dipping one of the cloth napkin in his ice water and pressing it to her forehead and neck as he whispered soft words.  "Musha, calm down… It's all right."  Still, the pale girl said nothing, just stared straight ahead into space.  "I could never possibly imagine what you're going through, but everything is okay."

~*~*~*~*~

Can you stay for a while

Try to imagine this

Could you be for a while

I can't remember it

Could you fall for a while

I can't escape from this

~*~*~*~*~

Duo groaned and shut his eyes, blocking out that damn light.  Had he forgotten to draw the curtains?  He never forgot… he thought that the light was unnecessary first thing in the morning, as anything that hindered his sleep was.  So why were the curtains open?  

'Don't even open your eyes…' he told himself.  'Get up, find the window, cover it and get back into bed…' he sighed mentally at the thought of snuggling back under is covers, and moved to get up, but found it hard as something was weighing him down.  "What the…?" reluctantly, he opened his eyes and glanced down at what, or who, rather was on top of him.  "Shit…"

A soft moan came from the body on top of him as the woman shifter closer into his arms.  It was that skin-to-skin feeling that confirmed his suspicions and his heart sank. "I'm screwed…" he voiced, unaware that Elizabeth was already awake.

"No." she corrected him with a soft laugh, "That was last night."

"Oh my gods…" he was going to pass out.  This was so many different kinds of wrong that he couldn't even pick just one to feel bad about.  "Liz, babe…" despite the situation, he used that nickname for her with such ease, "I know that the evidence is… kinda obvious, but… I have to ask.  Did we really do what I think we did?"

Elizabeth just grinned and moved herself over him, placing her lips over his.  To her surprise, he did not push her away.  He didn't even flinch, only moved his arms around her and pulled her closer into the kiss.

The only sound that could be heard was the faint ruffling of the sheets, but soon, a loud click sounded through the room, followed by a squeal, which was followed by Duo's name, then a gasp of horror.

The couple in the bed froze, almost afraid to move.  Duo finally worked up the guts to move his eyes to the left, where to his absolute dismay, he found his girlfriend, or, probably soon to be ex-girlfriend standing in the doorway, her face flushed with embarrassment or anger, maybe both?  It took him a moment to finally make his arms move, letting go of the woman in his embrace and pulling the sheets over the two of them.  He did his best to force a nervous smile, and pondered his predicament.  He could tell Hilde that this was nothing, and risk making Elizabeth mad, or he could tell her that he had feelings for the American girl, and make Hilde mad.  "Damn, I'm screwed." Were the words that came from his mouth, bringing a less than attractive shriek from Hilde.

"Damn right, you're screwed!" Hilde's shriek finally took the form of words as Duo merely cowered further under the covers.

Elizabeth just glanced from Duo, to the enraged girlfriend, then back again.  With a sigh and a slight shake of her head, she reached down to the floor and managed to recover Duo's robe – good thing he wasn't very tidy.  Wrapping it around herself, she stood, and carefully approached Hilde.  There was a certain calm about her that made Duo wonder if the alcohol still hadn't warn off – you don't just approach Hilde when she's like that.  

"You bitch!" Hilde shrieked, her face red with anger, "What the hell are you doing with MY man?!"

Elizabeth widened her eyes in mock surprise and looked back to Duo.  "Oh!  You mean MY man?  If I remember correctly, I was the one who slept with him!  NOW whose man is he?"

Duo couldn't believe his ears.  Any chance he had at survival was shot.  He glanced quickly to the window, considering that a fifty-story drop would be less painful than what Hilde must have in store for him.  But, being the lover of peace that he was, he worked up his confidence and raised a hand.  "May I say something?"

"NO!" both women shouted in unison, sending Duo back beneath the covers with an "eep!" 

"How dare you!  You little tramp!  Didn't you KNOW that he had a girlfriend?!"

Elizabeth merely shrugged and glanced at her nails, as if she weren't even paying attention to the other woman.  "No.  He never said a thing about you."  She knew that that was a blatant lie, but she knew that Duo's relationship with this woman was already over.  Why not make it easier on them?

"No?!" Hilde demanded, stomping her foot on the ground and glaring at Duo.  "And to think, we've lived together for all these years!  I loved you!  I was there for you when you needed someone, and THIS is how you show me how much I meant to you?  I can't believe you!"

Duo forced himself to sit back up. "But Hilde-"

"Shut up!  I don't want to hear it!" she threw her purse back over her shoulder and narrowed her eyes once more, "It's over, and no, this was NOT my decision!  It was yours!  Have a wonderful life with your slut!  You can pick up your crap from the front lawn when you get home!"  A few exaggerated stomps and a door slam later, she was gone.

~*~*~*~*~

I'll try to explain

The way that the frame

Doesn't quite fit the image

Or surround the edge

It stands on display

What do you see?

Behold all the new grey

What's become of the old me

I remember it much redder

I remember it much brighter

~*~*~*~*~

Two sets of eyes watched the tiny creature as he squirmed in his bassinette.  The tiny squeals and giggles that he made were foreign to the ears of these two Preventers.  "So…" the woman finally spoke, pulling her hair behind her, "This is the baby."

The unibanged man merely nodded. 

"And all we have to do is make sure that he doesn't… combust or something for two hours, until his mother gets back from her meeting?"

Another nod.

"Mission accepted!" Kashoku leaned back against the wall and sighed, "Look at this.  Babysitting suddenly becomes a 'mission'.  It sounds weird, but I kinda wish that I was active during the war.  Must have been exciting, huh?"

Trowa didn't answer her, just watched her.  He wasn't sure what to say.  What does one say to someone who has such little knowledge of war?  True, it was exciting, only because of the adrenaline though.  When it came down to it, war was just plain terrifying.  Being forced to fight for your life could be called exciting, but not meant in a good way.

Kashoku had actually expected him to reply.  No such luck.  Man, he was a tough nut to crack.  Even with the significant amounts of time that they had spent together, he still wouldn't open up.  Not that she was one for sentimental conversation anyway, but she would at least like to hear him speak once in a while, to reassure herself that he wasn't mute.  "Anyway…" she broke the silence and walked up to little Odin, reaching down into the cradle to pick him up, then laughing nervously.  "Heh… funny that!  I've never even held a baby before… I don't want to hurt him…"

Wordlessly, Trowa walked up to the small child, carefully scooping the bundle into his arms, holding him securely in his right while his left hand took hold of Kashoku's arms one at a time, positioning them appropriately before he deposited the baby carefully in the live cradle.  "Like that." 

Kashoku nodded, not quite gracing him with one of her rare smiles, just looking down at the wide, curious eyes of the baby.  She knew that one day, Trowa would speak.  When?  Well, that was up to him.

~*~*~*~*~

Can you stay for a while

Try to imagine this

Could you be for a while

I can't remember it

Could you fall for a while

I can't escape from this

~*~*~*~*~

"Ow…" the young woman raised her hand to her forehead and clutched it tightly, fighting the headache that seemed to split her head open.  She shut her eyes and pulled the comforter over her face.  'Why in the world do I feel like crap?'  She had absolutely no recollection of the previous night.

The great debate began.  Should she stay in bed and hide from the light like a vampire?  Or should she venture through the dangerous rays that spilled through the window, hoping to make it all the way to the bathroom to get some aspirin?  Either option sucked.  With a sigh, she decided that the pain of getting out of bed would only be temporary, as the aspirin would soon numb the pain that coursed through her.

With a groan, she pushed the blanket off of her face to get up, but soon pulled it back when she saw, or at least thought that she saw something.  Not something… someone.  She immediately panicked.  What was he doing in her apartment?  In her room?!  How had he even gotten here?  All she remembered was coming home from work… and… and…

She didn't even have a chance to finish her thought when Quatre pulled the cover gently down, uncovering her face.  He just looked at her for a moment as she watched him in complete and total shock.  "Tensei…"

Her entire world crashed before her very eyes.  He knew?!  But… how?!  That was impossible!  While inside, she was screaming, she maintained a cool exterior.  Keeping her voice as level as she could, she finally spoke to him.  "I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Don't lie." He scolded, "It doesn't suit you."

"I don't know what you're-"

She stopped when she felt his hands on her arms, pushing her down onto the mattress, his face only inches from hers.  This was all familiar… yes.  This is exactly what happened when he went for her in Ecuador.  He held her just like this, and spoke the harshest words.  But this time, there was no venom in his voice, no fire in his eyes, only a sad tone, with sincere orbs boring into hers.  "Why?"

She had honestly thought that it would take hours of yelling and screaming before she'd finally break, but that one word, filled with such sadness, such sincerity sent her spiraling.  She accepted her defeat before it was won, and closed her eyes with a sigh.  "Because… I had to."

He stared hard at her for a moment, silently commanding her to explain herself, but he knew that she never would.  She was stubborn as usual, and there was no way that he'd get anything out of her.  With an exasperated sigh, he let her go and shook his head, reaching to the nightstand and handing her some aspirin and a glass of water, which he had predicted she would need.

She took it gratefully, though she did not express her gratitude with words, merely tossed both pills in her mouth and took a quick swallow of the water.  She moved to get up, but stopped when a wave of dizziness overcame her body.  She was vaguely aware of the two hands steadying her, waiting to let go until she stopped wavering.

"Don't move…" Quatre told her, his voice a bit softer, but stern, nonetheless.  She wouldn't have listened, had she been anywhere near stable, but she had no choice.  Just sat there, and watched him as his eyes scanned the bedroom and located a hairbrush on the dresser.  Taking it carefully into his hand, he smoothed it through her hair silently.

Her eyes went wide.  This… was familiar.  This is what he did in Ecuador.  Was he trying to make the same point as before?  Did he feel that she hadn't learned her lesson from that time?

~*~*~*~*~

Calling, crying, ashamed of what I am not

Really failing, falling into this cage and I can't escape

I can't escape

~*~*~*~*~

Hiiro watched Duo levelly, mechanically raising his arm to sip his coffee, then rest it back down on the table.  He couldn't help but notice how quiet the other man was, and he easily deduced that it must have something to do with Hilde's state of being this morning.  He wondered if he was at fault.

Hilde had called him the previous night, telling him of her plan to surprise Duo for his birthday.  She was going to catch the next available flight, make a quick stop at Victoria's Secret and pay Duo a little surprise visit.

So, this was supposed to be that morning after.  Hiiro was a bit surprised at first when Duo called him and asked him to meet for coffee, then was even more surprised that the braided man hadn't said so much as a complete sentence since they met up.  He would have expected at least a grin on his face, but he got nothing.  The only clue he got was when they ran into Hilde.  She didn't say anything, just glared and walked away.  So, poor Hiiro was left to himself to wonder what in the hell was going on.

"All right." Hiiro broke the awkward silence, a little annoyed that Duo would make him actually ASK for an explanation.  "What happened?"

Duo sighed and pushed his coffee away.  No amount of caffeine could numb the sick feeling that wouldn't leave his stomach.  "Hilde just barged into my hotel room this morning…"

"And…?"

"And I was in bed."

"…"

"With Elizabeth."

Hiiro looked at him curiously.  "The friend of yours?"

Duo just nodded.  "We… kinda got drunk last night."  He could see the obvious disapproval in Hiiro's expression.  "We had a thing a few years ago, started with alcohol as well." He sighed and leaned back in his seat, absentmindedly running a hand through his messy bangs, "I thought that it was over between us, but apparently, I feel for her… a lot."

"And you couldn't have at least given Hilde a call?"

"I would have!  Had I known, but… I wasn't even expecting last night to happen.  It just… did."

Hiiro paused for a moment, before taking another sip of his coffee.  He wasn't quite sure what to make of this.  On the one hand, Hilde was a friend of his, and he hated to see her hurt like this, but on the other hand, Duo was his friend too, and he wanted Duo to be happy.  "So…" he didn't quite know what to say, "Do you… regret last night?"

"No." Duo said simply, almost as if Hiiro shouldn't have dared to ask, "I don't regret it one bit.  What I regret is the fact that Hilde found out in that way.  I would have broken it to her a bit more… gently."

"Well," Hiiro shrugged his shoulders, "What can you do?"

~*~*~*~*~

Look what I've done

This picture I've painted

Doesn't quite fit

Or surround the edge

I remember it much redder

~*~*~*~*~

Wufei glanced once more over to the woman beside him as they rounded the last corner before they'd reach their destination of Tensei's apartment building.  Musha had been silent ever since she regained her senses, but Wufei didn't press her to say anything.  He didn't even know what she could say.  Not until she saw Tensei, at least.

Musha on the other hand, was a different story.  She appeared to be taking everything with stride and grace, when deep down, her blood was boiling.  She wasn't quite sure what to feel, and at times like these, the anger usually won out.  She was so many things.  Relieved that her best friend was safe, sad that Tensei was gone for so long, but overall, hurt and angry.  Why didn't she at least call?!  How could she have let her suffer for two long years, thinking that her best friend was dead?!

Musha didn't even notice when they parked until Wufei had walked around to her door, opening it for her.  "Ready?"

The real answer was no.  In truth, Musha was far from ready.  Who is ever ready to meet a ghost?  Nevertheless, she followed along, walking in pace with Wufei.  Silently staring ahead, as if she was being lead off for her own execution.  She couldn't think… she couldn't breathe.  It almost seemed that te closer she got to Tensei, the farther she got from herself.  She had sent the last two years learning to live on, and now, everything was jumbled around once more.  

She wondered things.  Like, what is she like now?  Does she look the same?  Is she still as meticulous and perfect as she always had been?  Musha didn't even realize that she was torturing herself until she bumped into Wufei, who had stopped in front of a door which her confirmed to be hers.  

"We're here."

Musha just nodded and shrugged her shoulders.  This was it.  It's do or die, and Musha was a doer.  She wouldn't run now.

Wufei had taken the liberty to knock, and only a moment later did they hear a click, and the sound of a door being pulled open.  Musha watched attentively as two people came into view.  The first was Quatre, his face a bit sad, but more uncertain than anything.  The other was a strangely familiar girl, but not Tensei!  She couldn't be Tensei!  Tensei had blonde hair!  That was it!  She was off the hook!  Musha could now relax in the fact that her reality was still just that – reality.  

"This isn't Tensei." She voiced her thoughts aloud, to the shock of everyone else.

The girl in question just lowered her gaze to the floor.  She wasn't sure what to do.  Should she embrace Musha, and apologize for leaving like that?  Should she stay where she is, and mutter a simple apology, then hope for mercy?  Instead, she said nothing.  Just waited to see what would happen.

Wufei almost glared down at Musha.  Damn her and her stubbornness.  He shook his head and held out a hand to the brunette.  "It's nice to see you again, Tensei."

A simple "thank you" was all that she could manage until she gathered all the courage she could muster, and worked up the guts to speak.  "Musha… I'm sorry."

"Don't." Was all the girl said to reply, "Just… don't."

"But-"

"But nothing, Tensei!  Do you realize what I've been through in the last two years?  How long it took for me to move on?  How could you do that to me?!"

"Musha!  I'm sorry!  I just-"

She was cut off once more when Musha raised her arms in frustration.  "Tensei!  For the last two years, I've had to have someone to blame for my pain!  And you know what?!  I blamed you!"

The girl just nodded, understanding completely.  She WAS the cause of all this.  She just… didn't expect things to turn out quite this way.  She didn't say anything.  She didn't know what she could say.  Just waited, until Musha spoke again.

"I hate you, Tensei.  I mean that sincerely.  I was better off when you were dead."

~*~*~*~*~

Can you stay for a while

Try to imagine this

Could you be for a while

I can't remember it

Could you fall for a while

I can't escape from this

I can't escape, I can't escape, I can't escape


	6. Chapter Five To Shatter a Spirit

**  
  
_Hi everyone! It's me again! Musha! GAH! Yes I know I've taken ALONG time with this,demo I promise now that I'll try to write faster. I sunk into a bit of a depression for a while there demo, now I'm back to my giddy self!  
Enjoy!_**  
  
~*~*~*~*~

Tainted Dream

Chapter Five

~*~*~*~*~

Sparkling, crystal clear and shimmering with the promise of new life in the seasons to come. Lakes in the springtime were always as such, rippling with the life that lay hidden just beneath the surface of the glassy face. There to help support all the creatures that needed its usage to survive. It was always there for them, whenever needed it was there.  
Liquid of life.  
In the winter however, the water would change. It would no longer be a kind and life giving realm, a place for all those who required it's abilities and safety to come and seek shelter. It would close itself off from those poor innocent lives that needed it and that had come to depend upon it, expect it to always be there. Leaving the souls to freeze and fade away in the harsh season of winter that always followed the life giving spring.   
Cruel pools of ice.  
Just like Musha's eyes.  
She vanished, running away and disappearing into the noonday sun as if she had only been a memory, a spirit come to haunt Tensei of what could have been, what might have been.  
What had been.  
Together forever, friends forever, sisters forever, from birth until death. Kindred spirits, nothing would drive them apart.  
Laughter, singing, laughing while they learned of the unjust ways of the world. There was forever happiness and warmth.  
Now, cold, ice, tears and sorrow as everything was torn away from them after the victory. After the wars conclusion, the world ended.  
"Tensei?" A soft hand was placed on her shoulder and she slowly tore her eyes away from the spot where Musha and Wufei had vanished from. Quartre's blue eyes peered back at her, half hidden among a mess of blonde hair.  
Had his eyes always been so cold? Maybe it wasn't him, maybe it was just the world. The entire world was cold.  
"Tensei." His voice was gentle and soothing, sweeping throughout Tensei's head, haunting and torturing her with memories of the past. With memories of what could have been.   
"Yes Quartre?" Her voice...was it her voice? Everything was so cold, so bitter. She couldn't even tell anymore.  
Did she even care?  
He pulled away and nodded outside, towards the still opened door. "Lets go out, I'll buy you a coffee or something." He paused and swallowed as he took a step outside. "We should probably talk."  
"About what?" Even as she argued and protested, she felt her feet stepping outside, betraying her as they seemed to follow the same pathway that Musha had traveled down only moments before.  
Was it only moments? It felt like hours now.  
Quartre stared straight ahead, slowing down so he was walking at the same pace as Tensei. There feet making a pattern on the cement below there feet as they took one step, then another, and another. "About everything. It's, been a long time since you died Tensei."  
She stumbled, her body seemed to big for her feet, and her head seemed to far away from the ground. Dead? Death....Tensei was dead. That's right, Tensei had died in a plane crash two year ago, and Renee had been born the same day.  
A promise had been broken.  
Lives had been spared.  
Spirits had shattered.  
Death, life, rebirth. Was it all just an endless dream?  
No, dreams were suppose to be wonderful. Blissful ways to escape reality deep in unconscious slumber, where nothing matters but the most primitive things, because there is always the promise of a rising sun when a spirit returns to the body.  
Returns to reality.  
"Careful." His hand moved swiftly to steady her, guided with experience that can only be achieved by soldier of battle. "You're shaking, Tensei." He looked up at her again and slowly let go of her hand, letting his fingers trail across the skin as if trying to prove to himself that she was indeed here, and not just some fantasy of the mind.  
She nodded slowly, stepping back and staring hard at him.  
He looked the same. Same eyes, perhaps a little wiser; same hair, perhaps a little less kept; same smile, perhaps a little more shaky, a little more forced, a little less sure.  
Had she caused that? Had it been Tensei's death that had caused that? He use to be, so sure of himself. So knowing, so positive.  
_"You tried to kill yourself! You selfish brat! You would kill yourself and leave everyone else to bear this burden!?_" His words echoed, rung within her mind. She shut her eyes as the memory assaulted her unsuspecting mind.  
Her still healing heart.  
For, the words were the truth. Nothing could be farther from a lie. She had done just that, she had killed Tensei Jianio.  
She had left Musha without a family.  
She had left Quartre without her friendship.  
She'd left the world, with no reason why other than the fact that she was just scared! A coward! To frightened to face reality! To face the truth!  
"Tensei?" Quartre turned to her, his eyes reflecting concern now, no longer the cold that they had previously been.  
Or the cold that Tensei had seen in her mind.  
He stepped forward and looked deep into her eyes, his jaw clenched and his eyebrows set. So much to say, so many words resting on the tip of his tongue, eternity's, lifetimes, so many. Then, he looked away, tearing his gaze apart from the very eyes he had been staring into seconds before. "Come on, we're here."  
Her gaze flickered up to the sign, big red letters equipped with an artificial tree next to it read '_Wilderness Cafe, soothe your troubled mind'.  
_Tentatively, she took a step inside, sighing softly as she was assaulted by the air conditioning that sheltered and comforted her from the grim noonday sun.  
Soothe you're troubled mind. Could anything her in such a way anymore?  
She watched wordlessly as Quartre stepped inside after her, walking up to the counter and ordering two iced teas.  
Tensei, he'd been calling her Tensei. It was true then, she really had no place to run anymore.  
She couldn't run from reality no matter how much it sucked, she couldn't go to find herself and discover the secrets that her brown eyes held beneath them.  
Who was she?  
Hikari had vanished, faded into memories just like the war.  
Tensei was dead, died two years ago in a plane crash.  
Renee was revealed, no past no purpose.  
Who was she?  
Perhaps this was a dream, a false world that she would one day wake up from. Laugh and cry as she realized that that's all that it had ever been.  
But something was wrong with it, it wasn't blissful, or filled with the satisfying nothingness. No, this wasn't a normal dream.  
It was tainted.  
**************  
"Musha!" He ran up to her, breathing hard, eyes wild. His hand shot out and grasped her wrist, stopping the young woman before him from continuing in her sprint.  
Her run. Away from her past, away from her future, away from herself.  
The body tensed beneath his grasp, sweat shimmering on the skin from the excretion of her run, and from the rays of the sun pounding down upon them.  
"What?" Her voice was cold, blank. As if there was nothing left, and that was all it was, a mere voice. No past, no present, no future.  
No identity.  
He growled softly and whirled her around, refusing to let go even as she struggled to break free. "What the Hell did you do back there!?"  
"Normally it is referred to as the action of running, Wufei." She bit her lower lip and tried once more unsuccessfully to tear away from him. "Feet move at an accelerated pace that results in a person moving rather quickly away from something."  
"Damnit! I know what it is Musha!" What was wrong with her? Why was she acting this way? "I want to know why you did it! Why did you run from Tensei!"  
"Tensei is dead!" Her eyes flamed and she bit her lower lip hard, nearly drawing blood. "And as for why I ran, I don'T need a reason. I'm the murderer Samantha Ling, remember?"  
His eyes widened faintly and he stepped away from Musha, half shocked and half disgusted. Colin Foster, that had been what the weakling in isolation had called her! She was actually listening to him!? He voiced this out loud.  
Musha shrugged and shut her eyes. "It's the truth isn't it? That's what I am." She opened them again, her face setting into a scowl. "And the fact that I just ran away from Tensei proves it!"  
"Baka Onna!" He didn't call her that much anymore, she'd proved to him on the day Master U had died, on the finally day of the war that she was deserving of a name. That she deserved a name, and it was honorable of him to serve that right. However, at times such as these, when she was acting as a complete fool, that he would forget, forget everything he had seen her do, forget the strong woman that stood before him, and only see a weak little girl.   
A woman undeserving of a name.  
She raised an eyebrow, her eyes still cold, twin pools of ice. "Well? Are you going to finish that statement, Wufei?"  
He growled in frustration, feeling his patients and his anger being stretched to their limits. Tearing apart at the seams. "You're a fool Onna. Tensei is back there, waiting for you! After two years she's there, come out of hiding and you're running away! And why? Because you're two cowardly to face her now! To weak!"  
"Hai! That's it Wufei! I'm to weak! I'm to pathetic! Fine, I'll agree to that if it's what you truly believe! If that's the only way you see me as!" Her voice shook and trembled, a fire having ignited deep within her heart, threatening to overcome and destroy all that she held dear.  
Wufei shook his head, staring at her. "That's not true and you know it Musha." Why was his voice shaking? Not with sorrow, but with fury.  
She stepped back, staring up at him as a few stray tears fell from her eyes. "Then what is true, Wufei? I don'T even know anymore, so tell me. What's true in this insane world?"  
The words came to his lips, screamed to fall, but they didn't. Instead, he simply regarded her, watched her. "Integrity, my integrity. When the world goes crazy I'll continue fighting, believing in myself when there's no one else to believe in."  
"No one else to believe in." She murmured and took a step back, suddenly beginning to tremble. "I'm not trust worthy then, you don't believe in me?"  
"No, not the way you're acting now, like a fool, or a child. How do I know you won't simply leave, abandon me, like you just did Tensei?"  
Her head shot up, her eyes wild. "DAMNIT WUFEI! I'm not Merian!"  
His fist flew, he didn't even realize it was moving until he heard the sickening thud, and saw the hand shoot towards him to prevent any more of the damage. It wasn't until he saw the first traces of a bruise forming on Musha's cheek, or her hand blocking his just an inch away from the rest of her delicate features, did he feel his actions register upon his brain. Did he allow himself to realize what he had just done.  
"Musha..I..."  
"Don't say anything, Wufei." She stepped back, a single tear falling from her eye, no longer out of anger. Without a word, she turned away and began to walk, her feet softly hitting the ground and the sounds seemed to ring within Wufei's mind. He knew what was coming next, it couldn't be though...he wouldn't believe it, she hadn't said it yet....maybe....maybe his heart was wrong.  
Musha glanced over her shoulder, pausing on the street corner. "If you enjoy being Solitary, why don't you go back to being it Wufei?" Her eyes flickered, and she turned away, almost running again. "Goodbye Wufei, goodbye forever."  
**************  
"Why did you do it Tensei?"  
"Do what?" She didn't look up from her tea cup, as if fascinated by the movement of the warmed liquid in the cup.  
Quartre ran his finger through his hair and handed Tensei some sugar, just as she had always requested in Ecuador.  
It was ironic, to know exactly how she liked her tea, and yet have no idea what lay beneath her eyes, or under her skin.  
"Quartre, listen I..." she trailed off, unable to say anything more.  
He simply nodded and watched her again,crossing his arms across his chest and leaning back in his seat. His eyes boring into her flesh, as if he could take one look at her and see all the secrets that she possessed, and everything about her.   
"You did the exact same thing to Renee you know." Quartre's eyes flamed with surprise as her soft voice broke the silence. Of all things he'd expected her to say, it hadn't been that.   
"On the boat a few days ago." She continued gently, her voice barely above a whisper. "Remember? You were asking her questions about herself, about the war, about who'd she'd lost, what she'd gained." She smiled faintly, but it seemed far away, almost as if Quartre was watching the young woman before him between worlds, between realities. As if he was awake, and she was asleep and dreaming. "She didn't like that. She didn't like the way you looked at her, as if you could know everything about her with that single glance. She thought, that if you looked hard enough, with those eyes you have, that you could see beneath her, beneath all of the blockades and barriers she'd built up around herself, in the last two years of her life."  
"Tensei." Quartre placed his hand gently on top of her, trying to stop himself from shaking. "Renee and you are the same person. Stop referring to her as if she's someone else."  
Tensei shook her head and slowly pulled her hand away, clutching it close to her chest as if was the only thing that remained real in her life. "No."  
"No?"  
"You're wrong Quartre." She closed her eyes half way, peering at him from under long, troubled lashes and Quartre felt a chill dash along his spine. Something was wrong, his space heart was warning him and it was all he could to to prevent doubling over and clutching his chest, or perhaps running and grabbing onto Tensei, to somehow make her come back to the way she was before, to the girl he'd cared so much about  
She tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. "Tensei, Renee, and Hikari are all different people. All of them."  
"No...Tensei, listen to me. You must not be feeling well, perhaps it's shock." Yes, that had to be it. Slowly, he stood up and sat down against next to her, wrapping his arm tenderly around her neck and shoulders. Her smaller frame trembled next, covered in a cold sweat. "Tensei." His voice was soft and soothing, as if comforting a distraught child.  
_"Iie Tensei." Quartre's voice was soft and gentle, the kind you would use when trying to soothe an angry child. But there was something different to it, a strange sound in it that meant something that not even Quartre himself understood.'  
_The memory shifted throughout Quartre's mind, yes, he remembered this, it had happened before, just like this. On the very day he had discovered who Hikari was.  
That the girl known as Tensei Jianio and the soldier known only as Hikari were the same person.  
"No Quartre. NO!" She pulled away from suddenly, as if his mere touch had burned her spirit beyond repair. She gasped for breath and shook her head violently. "I'm not Tensei! Renee was different from Tensei! She was strong, she was living on her own without a single drop of blood staining her hands!  
"Hikari has vanished, faded into the memories of people, just like the war. Tensei is dead, she died two years ago in a plane crash when she tried to run away from reality and Renee doesn't exist anymore, she had no past and now has no purpose. All of them are dead!"  
A distinct shattered reached his ears and Quartre quickly looked around, trying to determine the cause of it but none of the other guests looked up, or showed any sign that they had heart it. Perhaps one day, he would discover what the sound was, but right now it wasn't necessary.  
Besides, his heart was hurting far to much for him to care. Moving slowly, he rested his head in his hands. "Who are you then?"  
"....I don't know anymore." Her fingers absentmindedly tapped out a pattern on the table top and in his mind, Quartre began to place words to it.  
_'kono mune no kodou wa  
anata e to tsudzuite'ru so far away'  
_Rhythm Emotion, it had been Tensei's favorite song, during the war. He sighed softly, shutting his own eyes.   
"If you don't know who you are, how am I suppose to understand either Tensei?" He stood up, placed some money on the counter as he did so, never once looking away from her with those eyes. How could a glance hold so much power? "Hikari was my enemy, it was my job to capture her. Renee was a stranger, someone I was polite to so i wouldn't hurt her. Tensei...Tensei was different. I cared about Tensei with feelings I had believed that a blood stained soldier such as myself should have no right to. I cared for her so much that it scared me." He turned and walked away, the door giving a soft dinging sound as he opened it and let it go behind him. "I think, I even loved Tensei. But she's truly dead now, isn't she? Not in a plane crash, but because you let her die."  
**************  
His hair lay matted and dirty upon the ground behind him, a few stray strands even going as far as to fall into the salty water next to him, but Duo didn'T so much as flinch. The knots would be Hell later, but he would deal with that then. That was the future. The current present was crap, so all that he had was the past.  
The corner of his mouth tugged and he allowed himself to flop back fully onto the grass, water and dirt mixing together in his clothes and hair, upon his skin and in his nails.  
It felt rather nice actually, like this he was able to consider himself part of the world, part of nature. Part of the 'great cycle of life'. Death, rebirth, like this he didn't have to worry about anything. He was just part of the world, no emotions, no pain, no choices.  
"Oi." He shut his eyes and smiled again, rolling his eyes behind the closed lids. "No emotions, I'm starting to sound like Hiiro." He paused and let his muscles relax against the damp Earth. "Then again, Hiiro the one with the kid, and the wife, and the perfect life now. Maybe he has the right idea."  
"_Baka na..." she mumbled, before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him right there on the lips.'_  
Duo sighed again, opening his eyes to try and rid himself of the memories that slammed quickly and violently into his mind.  
_'Hilde raised an eyebrow, "Duo. Please tell me."'  
"Shut up! I don't want to hear it!" she threw her purse back over her shoulder and narrowed her eyes.'  
"Duo! How've ya been, hon?" a feminine voice squealed from the other end.'_  
His eyes widened and he let out a loud annoyed groan. He couldn't even think about how he had betrayed Hilde without seeing Elizabeth's teasing eyes within his mind.  
And that could only mean one thing, something that even in the deep recesses of his mind he struggled to disregard even as he accepted it.  
He was beyond screwed.  
He was lovesick.  
"You have GOT to be kidding me!"  
"Well." A twinkling feminine voice sounded above him and he looked up, smiling nervously as Elizabeth's smiling face filled his vision. "That depends hon, what are you kidding about."  
"Um, nothing, nothing at all."  
She laughed and flopped down onto the ground next to him, laying down. Rather than resting her head on the ground however, she placed it on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.  
Duo flushed. "Um, Elizabeth..."  
"Hmm?"  
He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but to his shock as much as surprise, the only sound that came out of a soft squeak.  
Elizabeth laughed again and tilted her head back to look at him. "Ya know, you look even sexier when you're confused." With that said, she pushed herself up slightly and captured her lips with his own in a soft kiss.  
Which, much against his will, Duo managed to break and pull back. "Listen Abbie, we need to talk." Oh, this was great. It wasn't bad enough that he was sounding like Hiiro, but now he had to sound like some player right before a break up!  
Elizabeth seemed to come to the same conclusion and pulled back as well, crossing her arms as well as her legs and raising an eyebrow. "Spare us all Hon, and don't go into one of those 'break up speeches' I've heard them all and they've always gotten the same result." She flashed him a grin. "And I would really prefer not to main that lovely face of yours."  
"Haha. Very funny Abbie, you're getting a great sense of humor."  
"Come on, last night couldn'T have been that bad."  
"H-hey!" Geez, he must have been going for a world record here. 'The reddest a man's face could get without dying from to much blood rushing to the brain.'  
"Duo." Her eyes changed, the mirth drained from their endless depths, and sobered instantly. "Duo...I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have done, what I did last night."  
"You were drunk."  
"That's true, but I can't put all of the blame upon that."  
Duo shrugged, holding up a finger as if stating an obvious fact. "That's always worked for me before Abbie. When in doubt, blame beer!"  
She rolled her eyes and laughed, but it was slightly bitter, laced with confusion and doubt. The sound mingled with the waves lapping softly against the shore. "I know. Duo, after you'd left to work for the Preventers, I convinced myself that our 'relationship' if you would call it that, was over. I convinced myself that I was just as happy with you just as my friend. But last night, I just...lost it. I gave into temptation, maybe it was the beer but suddenly, I didn't want you just as my friend....so.." she looked away and sighed. "I don't know why, why it suddenly became so important for you to be with me. I'd known you were going steady with Hilde but....I don't know, I just lost it. I got drunk in hopes you would to, and our relationship would start again. I..don't know why I did what I did."  
"You're serious?" He stared at her, his eyes no longer filled with amusement or excitement. No, now they were filled with confusion. At himself, at Elizabeth, and at emotions that he had always simply considered 'hormones' up until this point.  
What was suddenly bringing on this sudden change, all this, confusion.  
It was almost as if his mind had betrayed him.  
"Elizabeth." He threw her a slightly goofy grin, even as it shook. "As much as I would like to place all of the blame upon you, and I really would! Actually, I still could!" She tugged on his ear and he laughed before continuing. " I can't, because...I had the same feelings last night, the same hopes."  
She shook her head and rested her head on his shoulder again, sighing. "So, are you saying we should give this a chance Hon?"  
Duo shrugged again. "Well, the way I see it. We've already screwed, so what have we got to loose?"  
"Hmm, good point."  
Suddenly, something seemed to shiver before them, and then there was a horrible sound, as if the very earth beneath them was screaming.  
Or tearing apart.  
"ELIZABETH!" He couldn't explain it, or how he reacted but it was almost as if he was watching it from outside his body, seeing it through a television screen or watching a movie. He pushed Elizabeth beneath him as the sky seemed to break apart, shattering the building before them in the process and causing the sea to swell horribly.  
It was moments later that the dust finally managed to settle and the wails of sirens filled the air. The lakefront that had only seconds before been green and beautiful, was nothing more than a wasteland.  
Where nothing stirred.  
**************  
Relena smiled happily, even her pen strokes as she filled out the paperwork seemed to speak of her joy in earnest.  
Peace had finally been achieved, weapons of war were vanishing from existence, she was married to the man who had captured her heat even as he held her at gunpoint, and she had a wonderful son named Odin.  
Nope, life truly couldn't get any better.  
"I wonder." She murmured quietly, her pen stroke finally flattering slightly. "If this can possibly last."  
Blinking, she shook her head. "Relena, you're getting paranoid. You deserve this, all the battles and all the wars, they're all over now. You can finally relax." She absently ran a finger along her shoulder blade, where only two years before she had been shot and sent deep into a coma. "Relax."  
Sighing, she once again began to fill out the papers.  
Terror! Horrible! Coursing throughout her veins in ultimate fear. It happened so suddenly! So scared, so frightened. No! Crying! NO! NO! What was going on!  
Relena gasped and clutched her heart, sliding away from the table as the papers fell onto the floor, scattering like tortured snow flakes.  
Odin...  
"NO!" She jumped up, barely realizing that she was moving, racing out the door which clanged uselessly behind her, as people stared at her in confusion.  
"Hiiro!" Her voice rang out clear as her eyes locked onto a familiar head of messy brown hair before her, racing against something in their blood that they refused to acknowledge.   
No words needed to be said.  
Somehow, she caught up with him. Running along side a soldier with a speed that only a terror filled mother could possess.  
The two of them reached the room at the same time, stopping cold as they did so.  
Relena's eyes widened, and she slowly took a step towards the crib. Her finger gently reaching out to touch the empty and cold blankets.  
The blankets in which her son should have been curled up in, smiling as he was lost within blissful sleep, dancing with the angels that he had so recently left to come into life.  
"No...Gods no..please." She slowly sank to her knee's, not even feeling Hiiro presence behind her as he caught her. "Please...not Odin...please."  
Her eyes flickered up again, as if believing that this was all some horrible nightmare and by looking up again she'd realize that her son was still there, resting soundly in the covers.  
The empty covers, no sign of life.  
"NO!"  
*************  
_Tangled golden hair stuck to the girls head and clothes as she walked through the pouring rain. Sorrowful and angry violet eyes flickered down to a piece of paper clutched in her hand in confusion. A train ticket destined for Canada.  
Harsh and ragged breathing filled the small space that the two people found themselves in, gripping one another as they gasped for breath in the nearly airless place. Cuts and bruises decorated their skin in their dark prison.  
A man sat on a rooftop, staring blankly at the stars as he twirled a katana around in his grip, paying no mind to the cold evening air. His eyes were empty, confused, angry and sad at the same time. As if he had lost something but was unsure of why.  
Sobs filled the air as a man and a women held onto each other. The woman sobbing wildly through the mans shirt, holding onto him as if he was the only thing keeping her sane and alive. The man himself had his eyes shut, even as a few stray tears fell down his face onto the floor below them. An empty cradle in the background.  
Blonde hair fell boyishly into a young mans eyes as he stared out on a balcony. Glancing between three pictures. The first, a newspaper article of a gundam pilot, the second of a blonde haired girl with a sad smile, and the final of a girl with brown hair laughing and looking nervous. His eyes seemed to darken and light up again as he was deep within throughout, before he turned and sighed in frustration, leaning heavily against the railing as if surrendering himself to the will of the world.  
And above it all, insane brown eyes watched in sickening amusement, before crazy laughter erupted and shattered the dream.  
_Tensei shot up in bed, gasping. She'd fallen asleep? She hadn't even realized it. Slowly, she stood up and walked over to the digital clock by her bed, narrowing her eyes as she peered at it. 4:25, great, so much for getting back to sleep tonight.  
Then again, what was the point of sleep? Her dreams had become tainted, haunted, horrible, she was seeing things she shouldn't see, and shouldn't fill.  
"When did my life become so horrible, so shattered." Moving her hand to wipe some sweat from her face, she stopped cold.  
There, clutched in her left hand was a crumbled piece of paper.  
"What....?" Tentatively, she opened it._  
Flying, touching the sky upon silver wings.  
Forever soaring where angels sing.  
Down to the Earth; into the sea.  
Swimming in the blue depths of Eternity.  
Fire pours, dances along the skin.  
Untamed like there has never been.  
Powerful land; upon the rocky shore.  
Firm and vast, stretching forever more.  
Starlight flutters down to the Earth.  
Joy and Laughter; happiness and rebirth.  
Darkness; pure black, waiting for those who fall.  
All ways clinging, never ceasing in its call.  
Wonder, awe; hope and dreams.  
Fury, anger; tearing at the seams.  
A choice.  
A human._  
"What...I don't understand."  
Her eyes fitted across the paper again, trying to believe everything that was in it, rereading the poem in her mind again, to decipher it. Why was she suddenly so frightened, so nervous?  
Besides the fact that her life was falling apart around her.  
Suddenly, her mouth opened in a silent gasp. Knowledge that she had so frantically been trying to discover slammed into her mind.  
So obvious!  
So clear!  
It wasn't the actual poem that scared her.  
No, it was how the poem was written.  
It was done in her own writing!


	7. Chapter Six I Wander the Seemingly Dark...

Author's Notes:  Ooookkkiiieee  I REALLY hope that you peeps like this chapter!!  I worked very hard on it. * grins proudly * I got kinda bored (okay, desperate) one day, but I was stranded in my car.  Sooooo… I located a pen, shoebox, and some old bank receipts, and I was in business.  * beams *

Special Notes: We have a new WarGoddess!  Yup yup!  Everyone say hello to Marika Webster!  * everyone cheers *  She's helped us a ton with this fic so far, and now, she'll be writing with us!  Expect to see a chapter from her next!  ^^

Kudos: OMG… to everyone… just… everyone… the wrists are hurting a lot now… so… read previous kudos… those go for this chapter too.  I am so awful… -_-

Dedication: To Kattie, my onee-chan, who sent me a LOVELY CD today, and a tape of her musical, which I have yet to watch, once I get access to the TV.  ^^*  She also wrote a beautiful song for me! * wipes away a tear * She's too good to me.  

And… without further adieu…

~*~*~*~*~

Tainted Dream

Chapter Six

~*~*~*~*~

Duo's eyes hardened as they fixed on the image on the screen before him.  Hiiro continued on, emotions forsaken as the monotone words spilled from his tongue.  "There was no note, no message from the abductor.  All we know is that he's missing.  I want all of you back here immediately to help with the investigation."

"What about Collin Foster?"

Hiiro's eyes narrowed slightly at the very mention of any case that could be considered more important than his own son.  The very notion that anything could be put before his child's safety was utterly preposterous.  Of course, he was thinking as any father would.  But nevertheless, he stood firm.  "His case is no longer our concern, as we now know that Tensei wasn't even on the flight that went down."

Duo shrugged and lifted his hand to scratch the top of his head.  "I dunno, what about all the other people that died?  I mean… I'm sure that the families want some kind of closure…"

Hiiro did his best to keep his anger on a tight leash.  He knew that his obvious overreaction was purely a product of paternal instincts, mixed with his unrelenting sense of justice.  It wasn't that he didn't want justice for those who were killed in the plane crash, but the fresh tracks of his son's captor would be easier to follow than the stale ones of the murderer from two years ago.  This only happened to work out in his best interest.  "Duo, our job as Preventers is to do just like our name says – prevent.  What happened two years ago was tragic, but the kidnapping of Odin Yui can be crucial to the very peace that we exist to protect."

"You mean your son." Duo added dryly.

The former Wing pilot sighed.  "Duo, I can't say that I'm unbiased, but this is just the way that things are.  I want to see all of you back here by tomorrow morning.  No questions, just come."  That said, Hiiro cut the connection.

"Damn…" Duo sighed, shaking his head.  'Tomorrow morning… doesn't leave much time to say goodbye to-'  His thoughts stopped as he heard the distinct clicks of a door opening and closing.  'Speak of the devil…'

"Heya, sweetie!" Elizabeth smiled as she walked up to Duo and gave him a quick hug.  "How was your day?"  
  


Duo shrugged, allowing one of his arms to fall loosely over her shoulders.  "I've got some bad news, Lizzy.  I have to go back to Sanq for a while.  Relena Yui's son has been kidnapped, and all Preventers have been called back to investigate it."

Elizabeth blinked in surprise.  "Odin Yui?!  But he's-"

"The son of the most powerful couple in the world," Duo finished for her, "which is why I have to go."

Biting down on her lip, Elizabeth paused for a moment before her eyes lit up.  "Take me with you!"

"What?!"

"It's not like I have anything better to do!  I don't have any projects this week!  Besides…" she grinned, "I want to be with you."

"Gaahh…" She knew his weaknesses!  He couldn't say no to that.  With a heavy sigh, Duo shook his head.  "You have no idea how careful you have to promise to be."

"I'll be careful!"

"And responsible!"

"That's me!"

"Why don't I believe you?"

The woman just laughed and gave Duo a quick kiss on the cheek.  "I love you so much!  I'll go pack!"  That said, she dashed outside.

Duo shook his head as she left the room.  What was it about that woman that almost seemed to unnerve him?  Sure, he loved her a lot, but there was just something about her.  Maybe it was that nightmare that he had the previous night.  Gods, that scared the hell out of him.  Either way, he didn't have to worry about it for now.  Right now, his job was to find Odin Yui.

~*~*~*~*~

Could you let down your hair 

And be transparent for a while 

Just a little while 

See if you're human after all

~*~*~*~*~

One… two… three… four… one… two… three… four…  A gentle tapping of a foot, accompanied by the loud blare of a hair dryer was what distorted the sound of the music, Vivaldi's Four Seasons, which was blasting in the background.  Brown eyes focused hard on the reflection in the mirror.  Coppery-brown hair, now turned blonde once more was scattered about her head.

'Hair dye is an amazing thing.' Thought Tensei as she turned off the dryer and smoothed the brush through the now blonde locks.  Once the strands had been placed to her satisfaction, the woman studied her reflection and frowned.  This still wasn't her.  Everything about her was artificial now, even right down to the color of her hair.

"Who am I kidding?" she voiced to herself with a sigh.  "I have no identity…" Her identity… isn't that what she left to find in the first place?  Before Master U's death, Musha learned of her past as Samantha Ling.  Tensei had never told her life-long friend, but she was terribly jealous.  When the battle ended, there was no longer a need for Tensei Jiaino.  True, she went by the alias Hikari in the beginning of the adventure, but as a Preventer, she went by the name Tensei, a name that she desperately wanted to forget.

Why couldn't she forget?  She had, for a while… but he had to come along and make it confusing!  She was fine without him, right?  Perfectly fine!  So why did his words affect her so much?  So many emotions… Confusion, anger, hurt, and…

"No!" She shouted, shooting across the room and yanking the curtains shut as if they could shelter her from the outside world.  She leaned her back against the wall and slowly slid down.  Memories best forgotten… haunting her… and words best left unsaid…

He didn't even see her… She didn't even know if he had expected her to follow him out of the café.  But she did… and she heard him… those last few words, meant only for the wind, but she heard…

"I think, I even loved Tensei. But she's truly dead now, isn't she? Not in a plane crash, but because you let her die."

Loved… Loved?!  No!  NO!!  He couldn't, no…  Care for her, maybe, but love?!  She couldn't follow him any further after that.  She didn't feel like she had the right to.  Love was not for the guilty, the murderers and others who cause pain… love was meant for the innocent.

Innocent… what a foreign word that once held so much value in her eyes.  That was all she truly desired - a simple, peaceful life, and above all, innocence.  That is why she did what she did – that is why she ran away, to start over, to start clean.  But the blood that stained her hands went far deeper than she thought.  It was like an obscene tattoo that could not be taken off, as if she had been branded with the sins that she had committed, never to be forgiven.  And she would be the first to condemn herself.

Even as Renee Williams, the shy software developer from New York City, she was not safe from her shadows.  They followed her, even to this foreign country, and with new horrors to torture her with.  She could not remain as she… All she wanted was to find out who she was… before Hikari, before Tensei, before Renee… Who was she born as, who was her mother, her father?  What were her friends' names?  Where did she live?  Perhaps it was just a silly fantasy, clinging desperately to the childhood that she had never even had… But why?  Why couldn't she let go?

As the night wore on, and the thoughts and emotions wore on Tensei's spirit, she slowly allowed herself to slip into nothingness, her body surrendering to the exhaustion and finding the peace that her soul still longed for.  But it found none, as even her dreams were haunted by memories best forgotten.

~*~*~*~*~

Honesty is a hard attribute to find 

When we all want to seem like 

We've got it all figured out

~*~*~*~*~

Musha stared blankly out the window of the 767 airplane.  This machine, though primitive compared to her beloved Gundam that was destroyed so long ago would have to do for this trip back home.  She had spent a couple days in Canada in the province of Ontario.  A nice place, typical weather of that region, and friendly people, not that she made a point to go out and meet many anyway.  

Three days she spent there, alone, in solitude.  She didn't really mind it too much, she had too much to think about anyway; too much to sort out.  But the hours that she spent meditating were distracted by one stray thought.  Wufei.

Gods, she missed him already.  The bruise that he had given her was still there, but it was almost invisible to her.  She had honestly expected herself to stay mad for a lot longer, but right now, she wasn't mad. She had been beaten badly, not just physically, but emotionally.  She finally came to the realization that Wufei was right in all that he told her leading up to her leaving, and knowing that hurt like hell.

Though she did not boast, she had always prided her on her strength. She never thought for one moment that the life of a soldier was her ideal, but it brought her comfort to know that she hadn't been picked for no reason at all.  Master U chose her because of her incredible strength that must have been apparent even in her small body as a child.  It was that strength that carried her through these harsh times, and she decided that it would be that same strength that would carry her through this.

So, here she was, on a huge airplane, waiting for her takeoff back to Sanq.  It was going to be a long flight, but it would give her time to catch up on the sleep that her inner turmoil deprived her of for the last few days.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen." The cheery, and way-too-perky voice of the stewardess blares through the speakers.  "Thank you once again for choosing Omega Airlines."

Musha groaned inwardly.  Not her again!  She was a bit too peppy and grated on her tender nerves.  She already had to listen to the entire safety instruction, now what?!

"I'd just like to inform you all that once we have reached a level altitude, we will be coming by with a beverage service.  That will be followed by another beverage service, followed by three more beverage services.  We will then serve dinner, where you will have the option of chicken or beef, or our vegetarian special.  Dinner will be followed by three more beverage services."

"Gee." A voice came from beside Musha.  She hadn't even taken notice of the woman sitting beside her.  "You'd think they'd know better than all of us that there are only two bathrooms on this thing…"

Musha blinked and looked over.  "Huh?"  The woman looked to be about her age, maybe a bit younger, with short, black hair that fell loosely on her shoulders.  

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she immediately smiled, "My name is Joyce." She said politely, "It's nice to meet you."

Musha couldn't help but smile.  It had been a long while since she had anyone to talk to.  "I'm Musha.  Nice to meet you."

~*~*~*~*~

I may be the first to say that I don't have a clue 

I don't have all the answers 

And God I pretend like I do

~*~*~*~*~

"What's different?"  The young Arab voiced to himself as he wandered the halls of this mansion that he called home.  Everything looked the same, but it felt different.  Same old walls, same old carpets, same old furniture.  Everything was exactly as he left it, but it was still significantly different.

"That's a ridiculous question." A deep voice sounded behind him.  Quatre immediately spun around and smiled at the sight of his Maguanac friend.  He was relieved to see him after all this time.  He had always looked at Rashid as something like an older brother, almost a father – well, some whacked out combination of the two, at least.  

"What's so ridiculous about it?" Quatre asked, a faint smile resting on his lips, despite the confusion that tormented him.

"You're wondering what's different." The older man answered him, crossing his arms over his chest, "When the answer is that everything is."

Quatre's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "I don't understand."

"When you left, this was the home of a man who had finally learned to live on, or at least learned to survive.  But now, this is the home of a man who is totally confused.  The home of a man whose world has been flipped upside down."

The younger man raised an eyebrow.  News traveled fast, he assumed.  He never remembered telling Rashid about what happened.  But still, his words made no sense.  "I don't quite understand."

"You see.  It is not the house that is different.  This is still the same old house, but you're seeing it through different eyes now.  You see everything as a different person.  People change, Master Quatre." The blonde was almost surprised at the significant increase in softness of the man's tone.  "People change, and you can't do anything about it but learn to live with the changes.  Don't force the old to come back, but embrace the new."  He turned to leave, but stopped and add one more thing: "The Tensei that you once knew is gone, Master Quatre, but there's a brand new Tensei that's just waiting for someone to embrace her, and she's not going to ask for it.  You have to present yourself to her as a friend, and see what she does from there.  It's the only thing that you can do."

~*~*~*~*~

Trying to find my way 

Trying to find my way 

The best that I know how

~*~*~*~*~

The foreboding presence of guilt impaired his sense of judgment as he struck, causing his katana to clash clumsily to the ground as it hit the metal pole in front of him.  Had it not been for the fact that this very pole was crucial to the structure of his home, he would have slashed away at it and probably even managed to destroy it out of his anger.  However, Wufei couldn't even do that, as in his eyes, this pole was innocent.  Why was he concentrating all of his anger on this long, metal object when it should rightfully be focused on himself?  

Weak.  Cowardly.  He struck the one woman that he thought he could ever truly love, and out of his own frustration.  He had been taught from childhood how to control his anger, so why couldn't he control it then?!  Of all times?!  Why had he done it?!

He knew why.  It was because he was scared.  More than scared, terrified.  Terrified of what?  He didn't even know.  He just couldn't stand to see her that way, grasping for answers in a whirlwind of confusion, and deciding that running away would be the only answer to her problems.  But instead of talking some sense into her, he threw away all of his and acted foolishly, breaking one of his strongest beliefs, and ultimately chasing Musha away for good.  He could only hope now that she would one day find it in her heart to forgive him.  Maybe not love him, but forgive him.  

Until then, he had work to do.  Maybe it would keep his mind off of what happened?  Not a chance.

~*~*~*~*~

Well I haven't memorized all the cute things to say 

But I'm working on it 

Maybe I'll master this art for today

~*~*~*~*~

"Well, here it is!  Home, sweet home!" Duo grinned as he pushed open the door for Elizabeth.  She raised an eyebrow at the braided man and watched him skeptically.

"This isn't your home." She accused, "This is a mansion!  I don't believe for one minute that this is yours!"

Duo laughed nervously and yanked her suitcase inside.  "Yeah, well… Hilde held true to her promise and evicted my butt, so we'll be rooming with Quatre for a while.  Besides, it's not like he doesn't have the space!"

"True.  And either way, it's an improvement over the hotel, it's more… friendly."

"Good morning." A tired voice came from around the corner as a smiling blonde made himself present, but the dark circles under his eyes exposed the lie behind his smile.  Sure, he stood straight, smiled brightly, and had every appearance of a normal, happy man, but he lacked that cheery air, that infecting joyfulness that always seemed to be leaking from his very pores.

"Q-man!" Duo shouted, "You look awful!  What happened?"

"Huh?" the blonde blinked and shook his head, his polite smile never faltering.  "Oh, I'm fine.  Just a bit tired." He waved a dismissing hand and continued, "God morning, Miss Elizabeth.  It's nice to see you again."

She just nodded politely and smiled.  "Nice to see you too, but please, just call me Elizabeth.  No miss."

Quatre's eyes seemed to darken at that comment, but he nodded his head nonetheless.  "Alright, Elizabeth.  If you'll excuse me, I have some things to take care of before our meeting this noon, but Abdul will show you to your rooms." He gestured to the man behind him.

"Room.  That's singular." Duo corrected him.

Quatre just nodded.  "Yes, yes, of course.  Just… make yourselves comfortable.  Duo, I'll see you at noon, right?"  
  


"You betcha!"

~*~*~*~*~

I'd I quote all the line off the top of my head 

And you'd be 

I don't understand all of these things I've read

~*~*~*~*~

Joyce sighed and relaxed further into her seat.  The woman was obviously bored, though who wouldn't be with the promise of twelve straight hours of solitude?  The seat to her left was vacant, leaving the only that blonde woman to talk to – but she didn't seem to be in much of a talking mood.  No matter, she would find some way to break the ice that blocked her from socializing – Joyce was not about to spend the next twelve hours twiddling her thumbs.

"So," she began casually, tracing a lazy pattern on the plastic board, makeshift table in front of her, "What are you going to Sanq for?"

Violet eyes glanced leftward, the golden head refusing to so much as turn, not even out of common courtesy.  "I live there."

Joyce's face lit up with a pleasant smile.  "Oh, really?  How nice!  Do you like it there?"

Musha just shrugged.  "I don't know anymore… things are going to be different than how I left them."  She blinked, unsure of why she just said that, just opened a tiny little crack into her soul, allowing this stranger a peek at what she was feeling.  She bit down on her lip, silently praying that the most likely, and seemingly inevitable response would never come. 

"Oh?  What do you mean by that?"  No such luck.

"Nothing…"

The dark haired woman just nodded and folded her hands in her lap, not wanting to press the matter.  After about ten minutes of uncomfortable silence, she allowed her eyes to wander around her surroundings, when she caught sight of Musha's reflection in the window.  That was when she saw it, and gasped.  "What happened to your cheek?"  Had she allowed her mind to finish processing her thoughts before her mouth so hastily made the decision to say something, she would have considered the fact that Musha hid that side of her face for a reason.  

The blonde woman just sighed, almost in defeat.  "This," she tenderly traced the outline of her bruise, closing her eyes in pain at the memory, "Is the reason that everything will be different when I return."

Joyce could not help but continue, too concerned for this stranger to think about being considerate.  "Did someone hurt you?  You're not going back to him, are you?"

"What makes you think that the person that hurt me is a man?" Musha snapped suddenly.

Joyce apologized immediately and calmed her voice, "I'm sorry.  I just assumed that… well, you don't look like the type to let a woman hurt you in that way." She laughed quietly, "Even I'd be too afraid to hit you.  I'm sorry, it was just speculation…"

Musha sighed and allowed herself to cool off, feeling her muscles relax as she convinced herself that there was no reason to be tense.  "You're right…" she muttered.  Joyce didn't speak, she was probably afraid now.  Great, she scared her.  Musha shook her head and continued.  "A friend of mine did this… he was… angry at me."

"That was wrong of him." Joyce commented, a bit apprehensively.

"No." Musha corrected her, "I was wrong. I made a foolish decision, and this is what came of it."

"Still-"

"No, it was my fault, and now, I must bear the consequence."

"You love him, don't you?"  It was more of a statement than a question, and bold of her to even dare say.  Musha sensed a certain quality in this woman, she cared so much.

"I do love him, but I screwed up."

"Well," Joyce added, almost timidly, "If you think that you screwed up, why are you going back?"

Silence.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be prying into this.  It's really none of my business, I just-"

She was cut off by Musha.  "I'm going back… to beg for his forgiveness."

"It sounds that mutual apologies are in order.  He still hurt you."

"I have a feeling…" Musha said with a sigh, "That the blow hurt him more than it did me."

~*~*~*~*~

I'm just trying to find my way 

Trying to find my way 

Trying to find my way the best that I know how

~*~*~*~*~

"Anything?"

She shook her head, her fists clenching.  "Damnit!" the calm finally ceased and she let her true emotion show through.  "It's been twenty-four hours, and we still haven't found him!"

Trowa's unhidden green eye just watched the woman pace back and forth across the room.  She was tough, but her temper was about the length of a pinhead – if that.  After about ten minutes of stomping, cursing, and anything else you would expect from a hissy fit, Trowa decided to put a stop to this by placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Calm down." He said levelly, "It's not worth getting this upset over."

"But what if we don't find him in time?!" she demanded angrily, "I can't let myself fail like that!!!  What would everyone else think?!"

"This isn't about you, Kashoku." Was his answer, his voice still smooth.  "It's about the Yuis, and Odin's safety.  Whatever happens, don't let your pride get in the way of this search.  You're my friend, but I won't hesitate to remove you from this investigation."

Kashoku blinked, clearly indignant.  "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm going to do my job as I have been instructed to.  I know that you have the right intentions, but you have to focus on doing this right.  You're new, and you still have a lot to learn, but I have no doubt that you CAN learn it, and learn it well.  You're good at your job, just don't let it get too personal."

Kashoku was at a loss for words.  Did he just insult her AND compliment her at the same time?  That just didn't register.  She shook her head and sighed.  "Fine."  Her voice showed no sincerity, but Trowa knew that deep down, she meant what she said.

~*~*~*~*~

Well I haven't drawn it or figured out quite yet 

But even if it takes my whole life 

To get to where I need to be

~*~*~*~*~

Tensei, or rather, a blonde version of Renee Williams stepped casually off of the elevator and into the familiar hallway where she was greeted by smiling faces, and cheery "Good mornings."  Renee reflected those smiles perfectly, giving the flawless impression of a normal, happy woman.

"Good morning, Miss Williams." A man called from down the hall.

"Good morning, Mr. Peterson." She replied with a sweetness that made her want to gag.  At this time, anything even remotely happy or cheery was poison, but she appeared to be the happiest of all.

"Say, I like your new hair color." He said with a smile.  Mark Peterson was a short, pudgy man with a permanent grin stuck to his face.  He was a kind employer, one appreciated by all of his workers.

Renee just smiled and nodded politely.  "Thank you.  I just wanted to try something new." She lied.

"It looks good on you." He complimented, "You should have been a natural blonde."

"Heh…" Renee didn't dare try to form words for a good sixty seconds before she finally excused herself – something about a project that was due soon, and hastily, but not at all suspiciously made her way to the third room on the right – her office, and shut the door behind her with a soft click.

"A natural blonde…" she sighed and shook her head, taking a seat at her desk.  She was bound and determined to get back into her daily routine and get over these memories that haunted her so mercilessly.

So why did she dye her hair blonde?

"Damnit…" she scolded herself, booting up her PC.  "Stop thinking about them.  You got over them once, you can do it again."

~*~*~*~*~

And if I should fall to the bottom of the end 

I'll be one step back to you 

I'm trying to find my way 

Trying to find my way

~*~*~*~*~

The trees seemed to drift by as the small, yellow taxicab made its way through the streets of Sanq.  Musha used her last precious moments of solitude to contemplate once more her battle plan.  Or wasn't this her surrender?

No matter how many times she went over it in her head, Musha's plan still seemed so… small.  Simple.  She had expected having to come up with some long, detailed explanation as to why she acted the way she did, but every time she tried to start one, the words didn't come to her.  What little she did manage to fabricate was constantly replaced by two small words.

Two words.  He deserved more than that.  He deserved… well, a lot more than two words!

Next thing Musha knew, she was standing outside of the house that she and Wufei had been sharing for the last two years.  Two years… An eternity, and a moment, yet altogether the same.  "It's now or never." She told herself, her shoulder sagging as she did her best to relax her body.

Swiftly, but without obvious haste, she made her way into the house.  There, she found Wufei.  He was just standing there, as if he had been waiting for her this whole time.  There was a moment of uncomfortable silence before Musha just sighed, deciding that those two words would have to do.  Mustering up all of the strength that she thought she had left, she took a deep breath.  "I'm sorry."

~*~*~*~*~

Oh, I'm trying to find my way 

Trying to find my way

~*~*~*~*~


	8. Chapter Seven Can't Get No Satisfaction

   
  
Marika's Notes:  
  
This is being written on a sucky computer I have named Betty. Betty the  
  
behemoth. It's being written in DOS... yes you read that correctly. DOS! Yes,  
  
DOS is still around. It's my punishment for being so arrogant as to think that  
  
Henry Jr. was going to last forever. He didn't. Henry Jr. AKA my laptop died  
  
earlier this week after having exhausted his allowance of screen stuff for his  
  
LCD. In highly technical terms... he fell, he died.  
  
   
  
I hope that this chapter is up to par. Enjoy  
  
   
  
Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
   
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~  
  
Tainted Dream  
  
Chatper 7ish  
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~  
  
   
  
For lack of something better to do, he stared. Yup. That's right... he, the  
  
great Chang Wufei simply stood where he had been for the last 3 minutes, since  
  
he'd heard the cab outside, rooted in silent hopefulness. An agonizing three minutes. Very possibly the most agonizing of his entire life. And he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, the in that cab and now standing before him, stood his future. A future that rested in the hands of one small battle weary woman. The woman who held his heart so tightly in her grasp that she'd melded it with her hand so much so that he knew he would never get it back. The defiant, the impossibly proud, Chinese warrior was irrefutably in love and unable to deny it to himself or anyone else any longer. This was truly a sad moment.  
  
   
  
"You came back." He bit his lower lip, a relic of a habit that had lasted him through childhood, one that only surface when he was even more high- strung than usual. "Why did you come back?"  
  
   
  
Musha's eyes grew dim, her head lowering slightly as she dropped her bags and shut the door behind her. "I'm sorry."  
  
   
  
"Sorry for what?" Wufei did not move, but remained rooted to where he was, more than a little shocked to hear those words come out of her mouth.  
  
   
  
"You know what I'm talking about." A tired, thin voice emitted from her as she shuffled towards him.  
  
   
  
The Musha he knew did not shuffle, nor did she rub her hands together in a gesture that most modern writers would call "wringing". But then, the Wufei she knew did not question that an apology was due someone, merely demanded it.  
  
"No, it's my fault. I should not have struck you. It was cowardly and horrible of me."  
  
   
  
"No. It's my fault." She reiterated, closing the distance between them. "I provoked you."  
  
   
  
"Fine, it's your fault." Wufei conceded and had to suppress a grin; she had been caught off guard with that one.  
  
   
  
Her eyes narrowed, peering at him suspiciously. "No, it is your fault, really, it is." A smile played at her lips, she'd caught on to the game.  
  
   
  
Wufei took a step forward and brushed his fingers over the brush in a gentle gesture. "I love you, Musha." He held his breath after uttering the simple statement that would change everything for either better or worse. "I didn't expect to voice it quite like this, but then there are some things that even the strongest man can not hold inside."  
  
   
  
Musha did not appear surprised by his statement, but merely pressed her bruised face into his palm. "I love you too, Fei-baka."  
  
   
  
"No." He paused for a moment, letting his eyes slide shut and pondering the wonder that was her. Her touch, her caress... better than thousands of yards of the finest silk, all because it was her, because it was Musha. "You."  
  
   
  
"You." She instantly replied, a teasing lilt creeping into her voice now. "It has always been you."  
  
   
  
"No, it's always been you. I was deluding myself the last few years, thinking that this feeling would take care of itself or go away altogether. And I don't want it to do either. It's you, Musha." He bit his lower lip again and touched his free hand to her chin, guiding her face up to meet his eyes. "You."  
  
   
  
There was a moment then, a bonafide, honest to goodness MOMENT. He could feel his entire future and past pulsing through him as he touched his lips to hers, feel their futures mingling together as did their breath. A kiss worth more than precious gems, a kiss consisting of more of her. And he craved more instantly.  
  
   
  
Wufei forced himself to pull back from her, not pushing his boundaries, though he knew the true in her statement of love as well as he himself had been honest, there was a fragility to the moment. It was possible to break something so delicate that no amount of glue could fix it.  
  
   
  
Musha's word was simple as Wufei rested his forehead against hers. "You."  
  
   
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~  
  
  
  
It was getting late. Tensei stared at her watch, willing the hands to move faster, the faster they moved, the faster she could leave this small booth and head home. The longer she waited, the more of a chance she'd run into HIM. Mark Peterson leaned closer to her and whispered conspiratorially to her. "I've been trying to nab Mr. Winner for the last 2 years. This company needs an injection of funds, I think that he would do well with a small company like ours playing out on his side, and you my dear, are the perfect bait."  
  
   
  
"I still don't like this Mr. Peterson. It's wrong to try to tempt Mr. Winner with me. He won't fall for it, and in fact he'll probably end up walking right back out that door."  
  
   
  
"Nonsense," Mr. Peterson replied, his face tingeing a lovely shade of pink. "He'll take one look at you and see how good you obviously are at your job, then take me up on the price I've asked and then leave us alone to do our business."  
  
   
  
Tensei sighed. This was indeed going to be a long night. Mr. Peterson was a sweet man, if a little off in the head. He had a lot to learn before he could be able to handle Quatre in the business world that the Arabian was used to. She had to leave, and she had to leave now. She knew what Mr. Peterson was getting at. She was to be more than bait. She was to be Quatre's incentive for accepting the price that was offered with no negotiations for a lower bid. It wouldn't work. It would never work. 'If you're so convinced it won't work why are you sitting here in a skimpy red dress with Mr. Peterson waiting for HIM like you'd be waiting for a john if you were a hooker?' Tensei immediately squashed the little voice in her head that some referred to as that annoying conscience thing.  
  
   
  
There was no denying that Quatre would as she'd thought before so many times in the last 5 minutes, take one look at her and walk out. Tensei rose from her seat and grabbed her shawl, a lovely shade of matching fire engine red to the dress. "I'm going home. I suggest you deal with Mr. Winner honestly and accept a fair offer. It's the only way you'll stay ahead in this game you insist on playing."  
  
   
  
With those words she spun on heel, not an easy task in spikes and headed for the door. She was concentrating on not falling in the stilettos she wore, so hard that when she bumped into a solid wall of someone's chest that she would have fallen had it not been for the pair of strong arms the shot out to hold her upright.  
  
   
  
Tensei raised her eyes to thank the person, but found her lips pursed immediately into a frown. It was HIM. Aqua eyes gazed at her impassively. "Tensei, you're… what are you doing here?"  
  
   
  
"Me? What am I doing?" She scoffed at his tone of voice. "I'm leaving. I'm leaving now before I am humiliated and fired."  
  
   
  
"Humiliated and fired? What are you talking about?" His eyes narrowed dangerously. "I'm not in the mood for games, and I'm about to have to meet a potential client."  
  
   
  
Tensei jerked her arms free of his grasp. "Thank you for catching me Quatre. Mr. Peterson is waiting for you." Just looking at him made her angry. He stood there, almost a full head taller than her, in his suit, tailor-made of course. He stood there, so full of himself, so sure of himself, hiding behind that suit as though it were his armor. Damn him. Why did he have to love her? She didn't ask him to, and how could he stand there so oblivious to the entire thing. Obviously he had not realized she'd heard him. He was a jackass.  
  
   
  
The frown smoothed out. "You're here with him? He's your boss?"  
  
   
  
"Yes, yes." Tensei smoothed her hair back from her face; suddenly self- conscious as she realized that the shade she'd dyed her hair matched his exactly.  
  
   
  
Quatre grasped her by the upped arm gently and smiled sweetly. "Well then, let's get the meeting underway shall we?"  
  
   
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~  
  
   
  
She was tired of this bullshit. This entire thing was NOT going as she'd planned or hoped. He was supposed to be in the palm of her hand by now. Unfortunately those eyes of his, so wide and innocent, did nothing to betray how shrewd he really was. How on earth was she supposed to succeed in her mission if she could not gain the trust of someone so pathetic?  
  
   
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~  
  
   
  
Trowa opened the door and stared at his visitor, stunned. "Kashoku, what are you doing here? It's late."  
  
   
  
"It's hardly late, Trowa, it's barely 9." She pointed out as she brushed past him and into his apartment. "I came to work. You said I should keep my feelings out of this, and that's what I'm doing. We're going to work on the Odin Yui case until we make some…" She paused and smirked. "Headway."  
  
   
  
"How did you get my address?" He closed the door behind her and reached for a clean shirt from the laundry basket.  
  
   
  
"A friend in personnel owed me a favor. It's amazing what 20 bucks will buy these days. That and I brought Thai food. You're favorite." She held a plastic bag filled with great smelling food to his nose.  
  
   
  
"Okay, I'm convinced." He could not keep the annoyance out of his voice. His time off was precious to him, and contrary to popular belief, he did have a life. Not much of one, but a life none-the-less. He pointed to the couch and headed into the kitchen. "What do you want to drink? I have water and…" He peered into the fridge. "Water."  
  
   
  
"I'll just have water!" Kashoku grinned at him, oblivious to the helplessness in Trowa's statement. Her plan was underway and working well. "Bring plates in with you."  
  
   
  
Trowa made no reply to her request, but merely nodded into the silverware draw as he fished out two forks and knives. He padded back into the living room barefoot and plunked the items on the table with deliberate noise. Two glasses of water quickly followed. By this time, she'd spread out the files and food to cover his immaculate coffee table.  
  
   
  
"So, have you found anything?" He asked pointed as he took a bite of his food.  
  
   
  
Kashoku observed him closely; he truly was a beautiful man. "No." The way his jaw moved while he chewed, the way his tongue flicked out to capture sauce that had been left on his lips. Hell, even the way he patted his mouth with the paper napkins set her very skin aflame. "I thought that maybe if we put our heads together then we could come up with something."  
  
   
  
"Of course. I take it you've read the files then?" He rested his fork on the edge of his plate and nudged the folders towards her.  
  
   
  
"Yes, Trowa." She injected a hint of laughter into her voice. "I've read them all through several times. And I got nowhere on my own. But can we please talk about this after we eat? Thai food should not be tainted with business."  
  
   
  
She was afraid for a moment that he had figured out her little ploy, his brows wrinkling together beneath his gravity defying bangs. "What would you rather talk about?" Came his hesitant reply.  
  
   
  
"You know, whatever it is that friends talk about over dinner." She flashed him an innocent smile.  
  
   
  
"I wouldn't know what you mean." He chewed another mouthful, staring at her thoughtfully.  
  
   
  
"Surely you've had a girlfriend before, Trowa." She smiled genuinely now. He was falling into her plan right on schedule. By 10 she'd have him naked in bed.  
  
   
  
He frowned once more, "I'm too busy for that. Work and everything."  
  
   
  
"But there must be someone you're interested in. Someone at work maybe?"  
  
   
  
One emerald eye narrowed suspiciously. "Why do you ask?"  
  
   
  
Kashoku laughed her nervousness away. "Avoiding the question. It's obvious then. There is someone you have you're eye on. Just name her. I'll make sure you get her."  
  
   
  
"It's not like that." He stammered, caught off guard. "I..d.don't think we should be talking about this."  
  
   
  
She smiled her best seductive smile and leaned forward, napkin in hand. "You have a spot on your chin." She wiped at the panicked man's chin in a deliberately slow motion. "Let me get it for you."  
  
   
  
Trowa pulled back from her and set his plate on the table. "Thank you for dinner, but I think it's time you left." He seemed to be grasping for his composure.  
  
   
  
Of course, why hadn't she factored in the resistance she was bound to meet with this one? He was a live wire, one that had to be handled gently. Kashoku nodded slightly. "Walk me to the door?"  
  
   
  
She licked her lips as he rose, grinning inwardly though she kept her face blank. One last step to go. She ignored his grimace of discomfort as he covered the distance to the door of his small home. She stopped behind him and allowed her smile to now reach her lips. "Trowa. One last thing before I go."  
  
   
  
"What's that?" He turned to peer at her curiously.  
  
   
  
Kashoku nudge him against the closed door, pressing in close so that she could feel the length of his body molded to hers. "Kiss me goodnight." Her command was soft, a calculated vulnerability in it. "Please? It's the least you could do after I bought dinner."  
  
   
  
"Kashoku." He stated firmly, pushing her away gently. "I don't think.."  
  
   
  
Instantly she had him by the collar, her lips fierce upon his. He opened his mouth, presumably to speak against her lips. To tell her how wrong he'd been no doubt, when she seized the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Trowa snorted for air and shoved her away harshly, his visible emerald eyes glinting angrily. "Kashoku, I tried to be nice about it. I'm gay. I think you should leave before you embarrass yourself anymore."  
  
   
  
Kashoku remained rooted to where she was, stunned. "You're… what?"  
  
   
  
"Gay!" His voice rose slightly, exasperatedly. "I like males. I'm in love with one. He's gay too. We have gay sex. Lots of it. Now, please Kashoku, be careful as you're driving home." He stepped aside and wrenched the door open, holding it for her to walk out dazedly.  
  
   
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~  
  
   
  
Quatre glanced over to Tensei—Renee for tonight. Mr. Peterson droned on about overhead and the issue of compliance from employees. His anger rose even as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. There was now way in hell she could have thought she'd have gotten away with their little plan.  
  
   
  
Quatre pasted on another sweet smile. "Mr. Peterson, I'll gladly accept your offer at the price you have asked. I'll have my people in next week to have a look around and see what changes if any need to be made to make the company more efficient and profitable. However I do have one condition for the purchase of your company."  
  
   
  
He paused and shifted his gaze to Tensei, his anger growing even more. "That condition being that the lovely Miss Renee be my companion for the evening, perhaps she could prove a balm to my ego." His words were sincere, even as Mr. Peterson's eyes widened.  
  
   
  
The young Winner rose from his seat and extended his hand to Tensei, waiting for her to accept it. She did not move, merely stared at him, incredulous. He arched an eyebrow. "If Miss Renee does not wish to accompany me, then there will be no deal. I trust you made her abundantly aware of that possibility."  
  
   
  
"Of course I did." Mr. Peterson nodded toward the door. "You go on with Mr. Winner, Renee. You can have the day off tomorrow." He grinned at her, fully satisfied.  
  
   
  
Quatre was proud that he had cornered her. Cornering Tensei was not something he had ever seen himself as capable of doing. But then, it was proven as she accepted his hand, murder in her eyes at his actions. His integrity was shot forever in her eyes, at least that's what he figured.  
  
   
  
He led her to the car and opened the door for her, waiting for her to slide inside. Tensei merely blinked in silent agony as he went around the car and slid into the driver's seat. She did not remain silent after his door was shut. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"  
  
   
  
Her scream startled him as he pulled from the parking space. "I'm fulfilling my end of the deal, Tensei. That's what I'm doing. Don't look at me like that. I have to stoop to new lows to get you to be around me. I don't know what put a bee in your bonnet, but I am keeping you with me until you listen to me." He paused to observe traffic for a moment before pulling into the street.  
  
   
  
"I'm through listening to you, MR WINNER." Her voice was a low hiss promising bloodshed. "This is kidnapping."  
  
   
  
"Call it what you want. I know you don't want your boss' company to go under do you? Then you'd lose another of those false identities you're so fond of." Quatre snapped right back at her. "You'll stay with me until morning, that's that. That's the deal, and if you back out, I'll drop the contract for the merger into my shredder with no guilt at all on my conscience."  
  
   
  
Tensei glared at him, speechless for once. He continued, soothed by her silence. "I don't understand why you went along with him on this anyway. Is it a common practice for you to strut around half-clothed to be bargained off like a whore to the highest bidder? How many times have you done this in the last 2 years?" His voice grew harsher with each word, his frustration becoming obvious. "How many men have you slept with or given favors to, to get to where you are today? Hmm? How many, Tensei? Tell me why I bother hanging on to a whore?"  
  
   
  
"SHUTUP!" She punched him as hard as she could in the jaw given the confined space. "JUST SHUTUP!"  
  
   
  
Quatre swerved to the curb and put the car in park, glaring at her with righteous anger. "DO NOT HIT ME."  
  
   
  
"Then stop calling me those awful things." Tensei wiped at her face angrily, then cringed as she realized that she was brushing away tears. Her voice was hoarse as she sought words. "You know they aren't true, Quatre."  
  
   
  
He stared at her in silence. One slender hand reached out to wipe away tears as he was consumed with guilt. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." The first words he could find as he pulled her close, brushing his lips over her reddened cheek, kissing away the tears.  
  
   
  
Tensei knew she should put an end to this prancing around the real issue once and for all, but by the very air she breathed, she could not push him away as she sought out his lips eagerly. The kiss was brutally harsh and gentle at the same time, years of anger, rage, and passion mingling with the hurt and frustration they had both fought over time rising up in that one moment. This completion was what they both had longed for, even as they fought against it, pushing it away.  
  
   
  
Quatre was the one to pull away, his entire body trembling. He did not speak for a long moment but stared at her. When he finally found his voice, it too was shaking. "I… guess this is the part where you either slap me or tell me to leave you alone." One hand reached for his cell phone. "I'll call you a cab if we can skip step one.  
  
   
  
Her hand shot out to wrestle the phone from him. "Don't. And you're wrong. This is the part where we drive out for ice cream and start talking for real. I think we both need to just… talk. It doesn't have to be about heavy stuff, Quatre. We need to learn to be friends again. Somewhere along the way we forgot that and started hating each other. And we need to figure that out before we go anywhere with this. In this instant, I think avoiding the obvious issue is the best course to take."  
  
   
  
Quatre considered this for a moment. "I'd like to avoid the issue, so long as I'm doing it with you."  
  
   
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~ 


	9. Chapter Eight Content in lonely, happy ...

Author's Notes:  * Tensei grins evilly *  Yah, so Musha got a bit slacky with the notes… this is all that she gave me:  "Sorry it took so long to get out and Tensei and Marika-chan ROCK!"

Sooooo  I decided to take it upon myself to remedy this deficiency. So, as usual, I know that you will enjoy this chapter.  Musha did a GREAT job!  ^^v

And finally, this is for Musha: * clears throat * YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU!!!!!!  HA!

* smiles innocently *  Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~

Tainted Dream

Chapter Eight

~*~*~*~*~

_It's funny the way the world works. People always are lost within their own pathetic lives; hurrying and rushing to get to a place or time that is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It's amusing to see humans as such. An entire species struggling to make a difference in this chaotic world, only to have their efforts shattered by a single person.  
That's all that it takes.  
An echo of cruel laughter.  
A shot from a lifeless gun.  
Whispering as unforgiving as ice.  
Dead eyes, isolated and gone.  
A mechanical scream from a Mobile Suit.  
Hiding from the world.  
......  
.......  
Someone tell me....  
Please....  
What is the problem with running from yourself if reality sucks?  
_"What am I doing here?" The pen fell with a soft clink from her cold fingers. She stood up and looked away from the paper that held the secrets of her soul, fingertips still resting lightly upon the surface.  
In the shadows she could scarcely make out the couch and the sleeping form of Quatre within it, where she had woken up barely an hour before.  
What was she doing here? Embracing and accepting the one thing she was trying to run away from? Trying so hard to escape from.  
She wasn't strong like Hikari. She couldn't fight fire with fire and clash into the darkness that threatened to consume her, and she couldn't do it kicking and screaming challenges all the while. Hikari was strong enough to do that, to face Quatre again. Hell, she had even done that, forgiving all past transgressions and willingly embarking on the long journey that a healing heart and mending spirit must take.  
Hikari was strong enough to do all of that, but she wasn't.  
Moonlight poured through the open window, dancing a silent dance as it was carried along by a gentle breeze, which tugged at the curtains lightly.   
"I shouldn't be here. I should be anywhere but here!" Her fingertips clenched the paper in a vice grip. "Everything I tried to escape from, every identity I tried to run from, are all here. All of them are with Quatre."  
A whimper, an actual forsaken whimper, escaped her rosy lips. Footsteps made scarcely any sound upon the soft carpet as she walked towards the bathroom.  
She wasn't like Hikari, not at all. Hikari had been strong enough to fight against the mechanical titans known as Mobile Suits, all the while knowing nothing about who she was, or her past.   
And what had she done? What grand events and unselfish acts had Renee done that could even compare to the legend that was Hikari? Nothing. She'd hidden safely in New York. Happily living in her own little bubble. She couldn't be like Hikari. She couldn't even begin to travel the road of a healing heart.  
She simply, couldn't.  
"It's time to leave." She murmured. The crushed paper fell s into the trashcan as Hikari? Tensei? Renee flicked on the bathroom light.  
Turning the water faucet on, she leaned heavily against the porcelain sink and lightly kicked the pipes with her foot. "I shouldn't have come here. Why did Hikari bring me here? Why did Hikari agree to go with Quatre, why...."  
She cupped her hands and let the crystal water pool into them. Her wavering reflection peered back at her, brown eyes and blonde hair. "That's all we ever had in common, isn't it? Our reflections." A ghost of a smile passed over her lips before she splashed the icy water against her face.  
Reaching over her hand found a towel and she pressed it against her face, as if the water would absorb all of her problems and she could merely wipe them away.   
She let the towel fall away from her face so she could study her reflection in the mirror.  
And the instant she did, a scream of terror tore forth from her throat.  
In some of the larger houses, the more elegantly designed, there are a special kind of mirror. The type that are actually three different mirrors in one, showing a viewer three different angles of his or her self.  
That was the kind of mirror that could be found in every bathroom of this hotel, and Quatre's room was no exception.  
Three different angles. Three different reflections.  
Blonde hair and brown eyes in one. _Tensei_.  
Short black hair and black sunglasses in another. _Hikari._  
Brown hair and Blue eyes in the final one. _Renee._  
*************  
(**This scene was written by Tensei-chan!)**  
Wufei squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to block out the bright sunlight that poured, unrelenting, through the windows. He just groaned in protest to the sun's rude wake-up call as he did every morning, but instead of following his usual morning routine of getting up out of bed immediately to start the day's business, he just opened his eyes slowly and smiled down at the mass of golden curls that obstructed his view of the clock. The bed creaked only slightly as he leaned over to place a gentle kiss on Musha's cheek, pulling his arms closer around her and burying his face in the crook of her neck, lost in the ocean of her hair that was now free from its constricting elastic. No, time did not matter now.  
  
Wufei just lay there in content and happy silence, remembering the events that led up to this moment. He and Musha went right to the meeting, both of them seemingly unaffected by the day's first kiss. They had been desperately trying to go back to how things were, but soon came to a mutual decision that their' friendship, more like longing and restrained love just wasn't enough. It wasn't until after their silent dinnertime meal that they finally admitted that this was no way to live.   
  
And that was how they ended up here, together, and perfectly happy. True, this one night of passion did not cure every pain, or dry every tear, but it brought with it the promise of strength through companionship. They were together, and there was no doubt in Wufei's mind that this was the woman that he loved. He felt the body in his arms shift and curl closer to his own. Wufei smiled once more, coaxing her to consciousness by tracing little circles on her shoulder with his fingertips.  
  
Musha blinked her eyes open when she felt the tingling sensation on her back and turned around to face her lover, a tired smile resting on her lips. "Good morning, Fei-baka." Her voice was gentle, just barely above a whisper.  
  
With a laugh, Wufei brushed some strands of hair out of her face and kissed her. "I'm still a baka?"  
  
"Mmhmm. But you're my baka." The smile she wore was that of one who was truly happy, and it made Wufei's heart soar to know that he played a part in her happiness.  
  
"Well then, my onna. We should get going. We still have a missing baby to find."  
  
She nodded, extending her hand towards the floor to retrieve whatever clothing of hers was within reach. "Whatever you say, Fei-baka."  
******  
Quatre actually fell from the couch when the scream reached his ears.  
Imagine a sound that is so desperate, so merciless that it can drag someone from the deep recesses of peaceful sleep back into the harsh and cruel reality.  
That was this sound.  
He shot up out of bed and barged out of the room, barely realizing the fact that Tensei was no longer with him, or in his arms. At the end of his massive hallway a single door stood open, allowing the artificial light to pour into the darkened halls. He frowned and began to slow to a walk. He knew he'd left that light off when he'd gone to bed. "What's going on...TENSEI"  
Crumpled in a heap on the floor, one hand grasping the sink tightly and the other laying limp, was Tensei.  
"Tensei!" He ran again and stopped in front of her, slowly kneeling to the ground. "Tensei. Are you all right?"  
No response.  
Then the pain began. A deep feeling in the center of his chest, as if a part of him was being ripped away from him. A part of his, soul? "Tensei, listen to me." His voice remained steady, as if he was saying something as simple as hello or how was the weather. "You must have been sleep-walking. I'll take you to see a doctor in the morning. Here, let me take you back to your room, okay?" He grasped her wrist and gave a light tug, urging her to get up.  
She didn't so much as stir. Her hand continued to grasp the sink in a death grip while the other hand still remained limp, as if there was no life left in it. Had she fallen into shock? He'd heard of it happening to people before, the shock occurring hours or even days after the actual incident. Delayed reactions.  
Or perhaps, the information had finally registered upon all three aspects of her personalities now, if that's what he chose to believe. But, NO! He shook his head furiously. That couldn't be true! There couldn't be three versions of Tensei now. When she'd told him that, in the coffee house she'd been confused, shocked upon seeing everyone again. "Tensei, come on." He could feel the panic rising within him, bringing with it a sense of pleading to the tones of his steady voice. Why wasn't she moving!? "Lets go back to bed now-"  
"My name's not Tensei."  
He blinked. Remember the panic that had been growing in him? Well, now picture a volcano erupting. The molten rock spewing everything without reason or regard? Well, that was the panic!   
"W-what?"  
"My name, is not Tensei." She looked up at him and Quatre, stumbled back, falling from his crouching position onto the floor as he peered back into her dead eyes. He'd seen those eyes before, once before when he'd seen his own reflection when under the influence of the Zero.  
"My name is not Tensei." She continued softly, finally letting go of the sink. Her hand limply fell onto the tile floor next to the other one and an ironic sound escaped her lips. "Heh. It's all we ever had in common you know, our reflections. And now, we don't even have that."  
"Tensei..." She was starting to scare him now. Those eyes... those were the kind of eyes that could only occur in one of two situations. When something was slipping into the mental consciousness of a humans mind, such as the Zero did, or when someone was loosing their sanity.  
"I all ready told you!" Her voice rose, almost screaming. "My name is NOT Tensei! My name is NOT-"  
She was interrupted as a couple of strong arms clamped down over her shoulders and a pair of warm lips covered her own. Quatre was kissing her.  
A kiss is the ultimate display of emotion, and all of these scarred and tired souls had discovered that a long while ago. A kiss had been strong enough to keep Musha from leaving Wufei, and it had also been strong enough to forgive what had occurred. A kiss had been what had destroyed Hilde's and Duo's relationship and created Duo's and Elizabeth's present, and perhaps future. A kiss had been what had finally caused Trowa to push away Kashoku. A kiss can express anything, where words lack emotion can make up for it in a simple, kiss.  
He was convinced. He would make her see who she was, bring her back from the darkness that was threatening to consume her. He would bring her back.... '_Tensei.'_ He thought quietly, her body stilling within his arms. '_I'll make you remember. I'll bring you back, someway, I promise.'_  
Suddenly, she tore away from his grasp and stood up, eyes disbelieving. "NO! Quatre, what are you doing!?  NO!"  
"Tensei! Listen to me!" He jumped up and once again grasped her shoulders tightly, trying to still her struggling form. "Listen to me Tens-"  
"My name IS NOT TENSEI! LET GO OF ME! You love Tensei, not me!"  
"You ARE Tensei!" His heart pounded, unused to the sheer amount of emotion that was attacking it. It was forced to beat faster just to stop the poor boy from being overwhelmed. "You are Tensei! I know because if you weren't I wouldn't be feeling this way! I wouldn't have come back to New York only a day after I returned to Sanq otherwise. I wouldn't have given up on Odin's search to come back for you had it been any other way! Listen to what I'm saying Tensei!" He stared straight into her eyes, cupping her chin within his grasp so she had no choice but to look at him, knowing that he himself was getting desperate and frantic, and knowing that that would not help such a dire situation. "I love you. From the first day I met you. I tried, I tried to hard to resist it and send it away from me. I'd condemned so many souls to the darkness and what lies beyond that I deserved the same. But… I can't let you follow in their path! I can't let you go!"  
She shut her eyes and wet her lips, her body still trembling slightly from the fear and adrenaline rush. "My name is Renee Williams, a software developer from New York. Tensei Jianio died two years ago in a plane crash." With a strength that surprised even Quatre, she pulled herself from his grasp and stumbled backwards towards the door. "You love Tensei Jianio, and she's dead! You DON'T love me! You can't love someone who's dead!" Her hair flew out around her as she charged out the bathroom door, and out of the hotel room. Quatre didn't move, he just stared after her, where her form had disappeared from his line of view.  
"It didn't work. A kiss... not even that could bring her back." Wetness fell onto his face and splattered against the floor. He paid them no heed, for they weren't tears of sorrow, but rather tears of determination.  
He wouldn't loose her. Not to the darkness in the world, or the darkness in her spirit. He swore by everything that was true in his life. Even if it took his life, or spirit, to do it.  
He would not loose his angel. He would not loose Tensei Jianio.  
*************  
Rattle.  
Silence.  
Rattle.  
Silence.  
Rattle.  
Relena let out a dry sob and allowed the baby's toy, her son's rattle, to fall clumsily to the ground. She had no more tears left to shed. She had, nothing.  
Rattle.  
The discarded toy rolled over and stopped against her foot, the handle pointing to the empty crib that was surrounded in yellow police tape. A crime scene. The bright yellow plastic was to bright, to harsh, to _real_ against the soft blues of the room, against the teddy bears in the corners, and against the morning sunlight pouring through the windows. The yellow police tape, didn't belong here.  
Slowly, Relena stood up and, almost as if her feet were moving of their own accord, she walked over to the tape and traced her fingers along the edges of it. "It doesn't belong here. It shouldn't be here. None of this should have happened!" Without another word, she clenched the tape tightly in her fist, and prepared to pull.  
She would have succeeded to , had a calloused hand not suddenly clamped down over hers. "What do you think you're doing Relena."  
"This doesn't belong in my sons room. It, shouldn't be here."  
Hiiro looked away, as if he couldn't make eye contact with his wife. At first, he said nothing, but when he finally spoke, his voice came out cold and emotionless. It came out as the voice of a soldier, and not of a husband. "But it is, and we have to accept it. We can't change the past."  
Her eyes widened and she stared at him in shock, her mouth running dry. "Hiiro...what..." Her eyes hardened. "How can you say that! That's our son!"  
"Our son has been kidnapped."  
"And you think I didn't notice that! What are we going to do about it?!"  
"You're going to do nothing."  
Her eyes widened and she could have sworn her heart stopped. "How could you be, so uncaring?" She couldn't believe she was having this conversation!  
He looked at her again, eyes giving no indication as to what he was thinking. "The Earth Sphere needs you right now."  
"Hiiro-"  
If you go out and do something reckless, then all hope for the future will be lost."  
"HIRRO-"  
" You'll do nothing. I'll find Odin."  
Slap!  
He abruptly shut his mouth at stared at her in shock, more out of the shock as to what she had just done, rather then the pain he felt from the action. In his training, he'd been taught to resist pain at extreme levels.  
"Hiiro. You can't possibly expect me to just sit here and do nothing!" She shook her head as a nother dry sob escaped her lips. "I couldn't...that's my son out there to. I can't just sit here, and pretend that everything's all right when in reality, nothing is all right." She looked up at h im again with trembling lips. "Hiiro, that's our son. And I love him more than my own life. More then the Earth Sphere itself, and I don't care how selfish that is.  
"That's why, that's why I'm going to help in the search. I won't just stand by and allow someone else to do all of the work for me. I refuse to do that. No matter how important that anything else is, I won't do that. I'm a mother and a wife before I am a Pacifist."  
Another sob tore forth from her lips, bringing with it fresh tears that she had believed she could no longer shed. Hiiro wrapped his arms around her shaking form and pulled her close. "Relena." He whispered into her ear.  
She nodded and placed her head on his shoulder, shutting her eyes as a soft sigh escaped her lips.  
No more words needed to be said.  
********  
"Well, I suppose it's better than questioning that convict." Musha flipped through the papers regarding the Odin Yui case, before glancing behind her at Sally Po's closed door. The room that the pair had just come from.  
"Of course it is." Wufei grabbed the papers from her and stared down at them. "Anything was better than that weakling."  
"You really like using that word don't you?"  
His eyes flamed with surprise and he looked up at Musha, before chuckling faintly. Her eyes were twinkling, that meant she was joking.  
He crossed his arms over his chest and smirked. "You're complaining onna?"  
Musha rolled her eyes and ran a finger through her tangled hair, a faint smile upon her own lips. "Whatever you say Fei-baka." She took the papers back into her hands from Wufei's and stared at him. "Musha Eien and Wufei Chang, head of the Odin Yui search. Any idea's as to where to begin."  
He narrowed his eyes as something flickered in the back of his mind. The man in isolation, hadn't Sally said that he had the ability to control minds? "I have a suspicion..."  
"What do you mean."  
"Nothing. Come on, let's go."  
********  
Kashoku skipped happily down the hall of Preventer Headquarters, the package of Thai food under her left arm. Her hair was let loose from it's normal ponytail and was pulled back into a loose braid. It was a new day, and a new day required a new hairstyle. The future held limitless possibilities, and she intended to take all of them for all they were worth.  
"If at first you don't succeed, try try again!" A grin spread across her face as she stopped outside of Trowa's office. All right, so he was gay, she could live with that! She didn't even doubt she could, change his mind when it came to that situation. After all, she hadn't gotten to where she was in the Preventers by simply, giving up.  
She couldn't let Trowa go, slip away from her like that. Licking her lips, she sighed and leaned against the door, thinking what would surly happen later. He would realize that she was to great a person to pass up, he would declare himself straight, he would propose to her mere days later upon realizing that he couldn't live without her.  
And that would be his downfall, pure and as simple as that.   
Shaking her head, she simply threw back her head and laughed. Some jobs were to important to fail, and some people were just such fools that these jobs were easy to come by.  
"He'll see. I know he will." She rested her hand on the doorknob and quickly pushed open the door. Putting on a sickeningly sweet smile. "Ohhh Tro-kun! I brought us lunch..." She trailed off and opened her eyes.  
The scene before her registered upon her mind in mere figments, pieces of images and words that reached her mind among that turmoil that had suddenly erupted.  
_Trowa.  
Arms wrapped around a form with bright red hair.  
A head, a WOMAN'S head, resting on his shoulder.  
A smile amidst emerald green eyes, and brown hair.  
Eyes that were now startled, staring at her in disbelief.  
Interrupted.  
_"No..."  
"Kashoku… I..." He trailed off and looked back to the woman behind him. There was nothing more to be said.  
"NO! You BASTARD!" The food fell uselessly to the floor and she slammed the door shut. Her feet took on a life of their own as she ran, and ran, and ran.  
She'd never really thought, that a heart could actually shatter. It wasn't what one would think though, her heart wasn't broken.  
Her heart shattered because the knowledge that registered upon her brain was one fact, pure and simple. She'd failed her job and her mission. She'd FAILED! The first time ever, and it was a damn big one to!  
She wanted to hurt something, and hurt it badly! As in maim if not kill it!  
'_Gay my ass!'_ Her eyes narrowed as she practically shoved past Musha, who stared at her with surprised eyes, and ran out of the door into the streets. '_Gay, he told me he was gay. And then I find him the next day with his arms wrapped around some red headed slut! Damnit! The Bastard! If I'm fired I swear that he'll pay!   
Won't he?'  
_In the distance, a flock of birds suddenly took to the air, the sound of their wings beating together making it seem as if nature itself was screaming._  
_The door to her house crashed open and she stepped inside, nearly screaming as she heard the sudden crying fill the air. "Damnit! I DON'T NEED THIS!" She dropped her coat and files in a heap on the floor and walked into the room, fuming so much she nearly set off the fire alarm. "The bastard. How DARE he do that! He had no right to! Even after I was so nice to him, even after I offered him everything. "  
Bending down, she scooped up little Odin in her arms and began to rock him back and forth, trying to soothe him when she herself was the one who needed to be soothed. "The bastard." She was well aware that she was getting repetitive, but at the current time, she couldn't have cared less. He was the first ever to actually resist her charm. Every job before that, every male driven hormone idiot had fallen for her advances almost instantly. So what was it about this idiot that had enabled him to resist.  
So lost within her fury as she was, that she didn't even pause to consider that it wasn't Trowa who was resisting the standard way that Kashoku did things, but rather that it was herself? Perhaps she didn't want it to happen as it always did, and that's why it wasn't. However, the thoughts were lost within a turmoil of others, and never came to her consciousness.  
"I guess I was wrong about him." She sighed down at Odin and placed him back in the make shift crib. "All men are jerks kid. And with those kind of influences around you, you'll no doubt grow up into one as well." She handed him a bottle and turned to the phone. A blinking red light letting her know that she had messages.  
'_Maybe it's Trowa trying to make up? Humph, well, I won't forgive him! Let the others handle him, he deserves it.  
'Doesn't he?'  
_She pushed the button and sighed before flopping back down into an armchair. Picking up a discarded magazine, she began to flip through the pages as a voice came through the phone.  
_Kashoku. I know you're probably at work right now, trying to seduce that Gundam Pilot no doubt, as that is generally the way you do things isn't it?_ A chuckle came through the machine and Kashoku frowned, her head slipping back so she could stare at the ceiling. "Why does she insist on using those words?" The voice continued. _Keep Odin hidden. Relena and Hiiro Yui have begun the search, half of the entire Preventer population is out searching for the child even as we speak. Leaving our poor, confused target entirely unprotected.   
_Poor, confused target. Right, whoever the hell that was.  
_I'll check in with you later. Don't get suspicious. You do you're part, and we'll do the rest.  
_"Do my part." A dark scowl passed over her lips. " Maybe if you would actually show your damn face sometimes rather than leave me with all the dirty work." She gestured to Odin, who was happily sucking away at his bottle. She absently realized that she was, indeed shouting at a lifeless machine. And the ironic part was, she didn't care in the slightest. "Then maybe I would do my part a little better! ARGH!"  
The machine was abruptly knocked off the table as a pillow crashed into it head on.  
******************


	10. Chapter Nine Broken Wings, Take to Flig...

Author's Notes(Bekki Lou, formerly Tensei): New chapter! Yay! Things are coming along nicely! I hope you enjoy this! Please, please, PLEASE review. We really need feedback. -_- next up is Marika Webster's chapter! ^^  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing… but a few of the OC's… though they're getting hard to keep track of now, ne?  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tainted Dream  
  
Chapter Nine  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Renee paused from her typing and adjusted her glasses. Releasing a soft sigh, she shook her head and returned to her work dutifully. She couldn't even recall the previous night's events. It was as if they had never happened. It wasn't that she forgot. It was that she chose not to remember. Among those things that she chose to forget was the fact that she had been granted the day off from work.  
  
"Miss Williams?" Mark Peterson's voice sounded absolutely baffled as he peered into the woman's office. Stepping inside, he straightened himself up and watched her. She didn't even look up from her work. "Didn't I give you the day off?"  
  
Renee didn't answer, just continued to type away at her little keyboard as if it were her world, this world of computers and software, where she could so easily lose herself in complex coding and a series of zeros and ones. Everything in this world of hers was logical. There was no doubt, no indecision, only right and wrong, black and white.  
  
"Miss Williams!" Mr. Peterson was getting impatient now. He wanted to know how things had gone with her and the new business partner, Mr. Winner. He was a bit worried that she had showed up to work, he had expected her to at least spend the morning with the blonde businessman.  
  
Renee paused, and turned her head to the side, not bothering to mask her so obvious annoyance. "What?"  
  
"Why are you at work? I gave you the day off."  
  
"I wanted to come to work. Didn't really have anything to do…"  
  
Mr. Peterson raised an eyebrow. "You expect me to believe that? Come on, Renee… I need the truth. Why are you at work and not back at the hotel with Mr. Winner?"  
  
That name… that godforsaken name. How dare he mention his name around her? She kept her cool, though. As the long seconds passed, Renee slowly, but surely remembered the previous night's events… every bit of them. She was angry at her boss for putting her in such a position and asking her to perform such a dirty practice only for the sake of the company, that was doing fine financially, by the way, but she didn't yell about it right now. It was too late. After all, she did agree to this. "I was with him this morning, if that's what you want to know. He had places to go, so I decided to come to work."  
  
The man nodded, feeling a bit relieved that Renee had obviously not backed out the deal, but had she done enough? He couldn't help his natural tendency to worry and decided to nose deeper into the matter. "So, did you… serve him well? Was he pleased with you?"  
  
Renee's eyes visibly darkened, but she held her anger. So, her newest identity has been reduced to a whore, has she? She knew what he wanted to hear, and decided that the sooner he heard it, the sooner he'd leave. "You want to know if we had sex?" She eyed him, almost accusingly.  
  
Mr. Peterson cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably, his face taking on a pinkish hue. "Well, that's not exactly what I…uhh…meant, I just…"  
  
She shook her head and stopped his mumbling. "I know that that's what you wanted to know, and the answer is yes. We had hot, dirty, nasty sex. Are you happy?" She told him what he wanted to hear, and then some. Even though it was a lie, she knew that this answer would satisfy her boss. Truthfully, she was annoyed to no end, and would not give him room to pry more. She wanted him out of there, and damn him if he wasn't satisfied with that response.  
  
"Oh… uhh, alright. I…" He was groping for words, and found none. He took a moment to regain his composure before his tongue finally started working again. "Alright, then… You can stay if you like, but if you ever feel like just leaving at any time today… or… this week… feel free." That was all he could manage before leaving the room.  
  
Renee just groaned and let her head fall onto the keyboard. Maybe she would take him up on his offer and just go home. With a quick shake of her head, she decided that it would be best to stay in her office and lose herself in her work.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Wufei, remind me again what we're doing here?"  
  
The Chinese man just continued his work, searching through the archives of the computer. "Old newspaper articles. Anything having to do with Colin Foster and his sister, Melody."  
  
Musha sighed and shook her head. "I don't get it! How can he have anything to do with Odin?"  
  
"This is a long shot, but he's worth checking out. He's connected to this somehow, we just have to figure out how." He was determined, almost felt like a genius. Now, all he needed was some evidence or proof even to affirm this notion.  
  
"You're telling ME that it's long! He's been in solitary confinement for years! Since before Hiiro and Relena were even married!"  
  
"Yes, but remember what those guards claimed about Colin? They said that he could communicate with them telepathically, sometimes even manipulate them. I don't know yet what his motive would be for taking Odin, or rather, having someone else take him, but did you notice that he disappeared shortly after we interviewed him?"  
  
Musha blinked, still not understanding what Wufei was getting at. "Wufei, that was just a coincidence! How on earth could it be related?"  
  
"I don't know." Came the answer, uncertain, but excited at the same time, "But I just have this feeling. This is all connected somehow, I just know it. He did know who you were, after all. What are the chances of that?" He paused, allowing a response, but he received none. With a sigh, he shook his head. "Musha, I know that this doesn't make sense, but I just feel like it's the right track. Tell you what… if we don't get any good, solid evidence within the week, I'll drop this whole idea altogether." He wasn't sure that he could drop such a lead, but he was confident that they'd find something.  
  
Musha just shrugged her shoulders as if surrendering and shook her head. "Fine. Just tell me what to do. Remember, you're in charge… and I am NOT going to be the one to tell Sally about this."  
  
Wufei grinned and got up from his chair, bounding over to the woman and planting a kiss on her cheek.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Trowa groaned inwardly as he found his feet moving of their own accord, taking him up the steps in front of Kashoku's house. His feet bad been very disobedient today, taking him out in the first place, then to a local florist, and finally to the home of this woman that probably hated her now. He glanced down at the daisies that he held in his hand – daisies. They were safe, right? They were meant for an apology, and he didn't want their meaning to be somehow construed as romantic. He had once considered her a friend, and though it was a bit awkward and uncomfortable now, you can't very well be enemies and partners in an investigation at the same time.  
  
When the door finally opened, all he saw was part of Kashoku's face, one strange, multi-colored eye peering out at him, anger dancing within. She was about to shut the door again when he managed to jam the daisies through the opening, with only minimal damage to the blooms.  
  
"Leave me alone." She said simply, shoving the flowers away.  
  
"I came to apologize. I didn't mean for you to see us…"  
  
"But you meant to lie to me, hmm? Or are you bisexual and just forgot to leave out that part? You know, you could have just told me if you hated me."  
  
Trowa rolled his eyes. This was exactly what he was afraid would happen. Time for her pity party. She would launch into some spiel about how she was under appreciated and should just take her "pathetic ass to somewhere that would accept poor, unfortunate employees that weren't loved by even a single soul on earth." He was sick of her attitude about these kinds of things, and had to wonder how many soap operas claimed time out of her day.  
  
"I don't hate you, Kashoku. You just came on too fast. I wasn't looking for a relationship. We were supposed to remain professional. The reason that I went to your house was to work, not get laid."  
  
What little bit of her face was visible pouted. "Trowa, you have to learn to loosen up… have a little fun! That's all I was trying to do!"  
  
Trowa shook his head firmly. "That's the wrong kind of fun, Kashoku." He was cut short by the sound of a baby crying. There was a tense moment between the two as green eyes darted from the Kashoku, to the window and back again.  
  
Kashoku spoke immediately. "I have to go, Trowa. Joey's crying again. I'm on babysitting duty for my nephew this week. I've gotta run."  
  
Trowa was actually relieved that their meeting would be cut short, but some sick, sadistic little voice inside of him told him to offer to help her. And that he did. "Do you need any help?" Damnit, stupid conscience. That must have been it, trying to make him feel guilty for hurting her.  
  
"No!" came her hasty response as she inched the door closed a bit more, "It's… fine. You have to get back to work. I'll see you tomorrow." That said, she slammed the door shut.  
  
Trowa stood there for a moment, dumbfounded. This woman, who had very previously plastered her body all over his was now shutting him away. His suspicion was confirmed when he heard the distinct click of a deadbolt lock turning. Confused, but glad to get away, his feet carried him once more back to his office where he would resume his search for Odin Yui.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Musha stared down at the overstuffed manila folder that Wufei cradled in his arms. It was filled with every article and document remotely related to the Foster family that he could find. Apparently, William Foster, Colin's father was a successful businessman, and actually a rival of the Winner Corporation. He wasn't very honest, though. Most of his profits came from one underground trade or another. He soon found some people that were willing to go into employment under the Winner Corporation and slowly, little by little shut them down by means of sabotage, and sharing secrets with the staff at his company.  
  
It wasn't just the Winner Corporation that suffered his dishonest ways. Other businesses struggled, even went under because of his manipulative ways. One by one, the competition dropped, until Winner Co. was all that was left standing. So, it was easy to assume that a lot of people had it out for him.  
  
"So, what does all of this have to do with us? I still don't know." Musha shook her head as if to clear it from the confusion.  
  
"I'm not sure just yet, but it's important that we first find out why his parents were killed in the first place." Wufei's voice was confident, and certain. He had a plan in mind, and he was going to execute this plan, no matter what it took. "We have to get into his mind and find out why he would do such a thing."  
  
"Alright. I'll call for some plane tickets back to New York." She reached into her purse and extracted her cell phone, but Wufei snatched it from her before she even knew that he was beside her. All hints of optimism had fled from his features and his face was stern once more.  
  
"You're not going."  
  
Musha blinked, confused. "What? What do you mean by that?! Of course I'm going, I'm your partner!"  
  
Wufei merely shook his head and stuffed her phone back into her purse. "He knows you, Musha. This man is dangerous, and he expressed a particular dislike towards you. I won't have you near him."  
  
Musha could feel the rage boiling inside of her. How dare he?! Was he implying that she was too weak to protect herself from a prisoner in the United States?! She wouldn't have it. "I'm going, and that's that."  
  
"I'll pull rank on you if I have to, Musha." He set the folder aside and turned to face her. "I won't allow anything to happen to you. I promised that I'd protect you, and this is the best way that I know how right now."  
  
Musha sighed and glared at her love angrily. "Wufei, I'll be fine, and you know it. I've survived so much already, what can Colin Foster do to me?"  
  
"The same thing that he did to those gang members? The same thing that he did to the two hundred people on that flight? Musha, I don't want to risk anything…" he cupped her chin and lifted her eyes to meet his, "You mean too much to me."  
  
Musha couldn't help but smile at the Chinese man, despite the argument. He was sincere, and that meant a lot to her, but she still had a job to do. "Wufei, please… I know that you're concerned, but aren't you confident in your own strength? That you can protect me? Where's the strong Wufei that I've always known?"  
  
So now he had a choice: Put Musha in potential danger, or admit his weakness. Not only that, but accuse her of being weak. He knew that she was strong, and that she would be fine on her own, but his love for her always reminded him of the worst-case scenario. With a sigh, he shook his head. "I feel like an overprotective mother."  
  
Musha smiled and hugged the man, reaching for her cell phone once more. "So I'm coming?"  
  
"Gaahh…"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
She ran. A little faster, a little further. She was almost there… almost there! She could feel it. It was as if she held the key to the secrets of life in her hand, now all she had to do was make her way to the door to unlock it. The ground beneath her was sticky, as if she was being glued to the floor. But she had to keep running, she had to press on!  
  
Everywhere she looked she saw familiar faces, some welcome, some forsaken. But she couldn't focus on them… she had to keep running. She had one goal in mind, and her life, her very existence depended on that goal.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
A gunshot. A scream. Another shot. Silence.  
  
The thirteen year-old boy's eyes went wide with fright. He stayed silent, didn't dare move a muscle. Even his breathing was undetectable to a normal ear. Next he heard footsteps, so many of them, men running rapidly through the house. He heard doors slamming. Open, shut, open, shut. Then a whimper.  
  
His heart pounded in his chest as he recognized the frantic voice of his little sister. She was screaming, crying, calling out for her mother. But her mother did not hear her. He knew this… he could feel it in his heart. Not pain, but an empty void, the shape of his parents. He knew that from this day forward, he would be an orphan.  
  
His door was suddenly shoved open as two pairs of heavy-booted feet could be seen from his place under the bed. His senses had warned him of the danger just in time to hide. It was then that he heard the frantic screams of his sister once more. She was in the room! So close that he could almost reach out and touch her, drag her into this fortress of safety under his bed.  
  
Some angry words were exchanged between the men in his room, something about misinformation about the boy's bedroom. So they were looking for him… Then, they left. Just like that. His sister's cries grew distant, until he could barely make her out.  
  
He just stared ahead in disbelief as he heard a car screech out of the drive. They had taken her… and he didn't stop them. He didn't even try! What kind of a coward was he? Hiding under his bed as his sister was dragged off into the night. He clenched his eyes shut, as if doing so would hide him from the world, but when he opened them again, his house was gone. Instead of his dark bedroom, he was surrounded by the white of his cell.  
  
Colin Foster blinked a few times as he adjusted to the light. Another horrid memory, taking him back to that place of cursed remembrance. He would never forget that day, the day that he let Melody down. From that day forward, he promised to protect her at all costs. Even from his cell, he would protect her. This, he vowed.  
  
He sighed, and reached underneath his pillow for that same crinkled up picture that he clung to as if it were his last bit of sanity. This one photograph was all that was left of his family, and his hope. He gently traced the outline of the small girl, as if she were really there. "I'm sorry…" he whispered, "I'm so sorry, Melody. From now on, you will know no more pain… surrender yourself to me, and I will take it all away…"  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tensei shot straight up in bed, breathing hard, her body covered in sweat. She had been suffocating! She was asleep… running, but it seemed that the further she ran, the less oxygen there was. Her goal was so close… so close! But she couldn't even make it before her air was cut off.  
  
She shook her head and to out of bed, changing into some normal clothes before heading out her door. She wasn't sure where she was going, but something seemed to be pulling her…  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Melody…" he whispered to no one in particular. He was calling her, but he could feel her resistance. She both fought against and sought his will. He wanted her to stay put, but she refused.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Soon, Tensei found herself running through the streets of New York City. Running, just like before, but this time, she wasn't just running towards something, she was running away from something. She was running from herself, yet running towards herself at the same time.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Don't go!" His voice was raised, as if he could reach her better. Something was fighting him! Someone was defying him! What was happening?! He concentrated harder, all of his energy focused on Renee. 'Come back… come back, and go home. You are searching for nothing. Go back home where you are safe and sound.'  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tensei fell to her knees and clutched her head in both her hands as a cry tore from her throat. She felt as if there was an intense game of tug-of- war going on, and she was the rope. Renee pulled her in one direction, while Tensei pulled her in the other. She was about to give up when she saw the hotel. There it was! She was so close!  
  
Despite the fact that she felt as if she was being torn in two, she pulled herself up to her feet and managed to get inside. One step at a time, she trudged wearily to that room… She had to fight both physically and mentally to will her body to walk up to the door and let her fist drop against the wood. One knock, that was all that she could manage.  
  
But that was all that was necessary, for a moment later, the door opened, and there stood Quatre, surprised, yet not. He blinked his eyes a couple of times to assure himself that Tensei did, in fact stand before him. It was when she collapsed before him that he knew that she was real. He knelt beside her and took her arms, pulling her up to look at her. "Tensei…" 


	11. Chapter Ten Until I Become More Confide...

Author's Notes: Yah,. sorry it's taken so long to get this out. Bekki's been working on the college thing. taking a break from homework and posting. this chapter was done by the wonderful and talented Marika Webster! * cheers *  
  
Extra Note: Musha turned 16 on Monday! Everyone wish her a sweet sixteen! ^^  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tainted Dream  
  
Chapter Ten  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Tensei, it's okay. Don't beat yourself up about not being able to hold up under pressure. Everyone's entitled to get stressed, but you shouldn't pressure yourself like this. It's not good for you." Quatre passed another tissue to the girl sobbing in his arms, silently wondering what was really going on.  
  
Tensei sniffled pathetically and accepted the tissue with a soft snort. Damn that snot. "I.. I know Quatre, but I can't go on like this. It's like living three different lives. And I suck at it. I don't know who I am anymore." She snuffled once more before blowing her nose into the tissue and tossing it onto the coffee table. Quatre's suite was none other than the penthouse, and as such she'd found the couch quite the comfortable place to let loose with the tears that had been threatening her for days. Even when she'd been blindly running through the city, she'd somehow knew she would find solace here, in the arms of the man who loved her.  
  
"You may not know who you are, that's fine. I don't know anyone who can claim to really know that. Sometimes I'm confused myself as to whether I'm Quatre Winner, Winner heir, or just plain old Quatre. I like plain Quatre. I mean, I'd pretty much feel the way you do if I let myself wallow in my confusion the way you are now." He gently ran his own over the length of her spine, an unconscious movement that soothed him as much as it did her.  
  
She pushed away from him, staring at him through bloodshot chocolate eyes. "You really care about me for some strange reason, don't you?"  
  
"Of course I do silly." He chuckled lightly. "I love you in case you hadn't forgotten. I love you whether you call yourself Renee, Tensei, and Hikari, because you're still all the same beautiful person I see. You're name doesn't matter. And neither does your personality, I really think that what I feel goes beyond something so superficial." He pulled her back closer to him once more and nuzzled her nose lightly. "Just rest easy, I'm here with you."  
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~  
  
Kashoku stared at the infant in dismay. After Trowa had left, he'd kept screaming. Then he'd screamed some more. And then just for a little variety. more screaming. Something was amiss; she was supposed to make sure he didn't. what was the term she'd used before. Explode, yes that was it. And the little demon did look like he was about to explode. He was turning all red in the face, not at all like a baby should look. But what to do?  
  
Before she could help herself she had reached for the phone and dialed in Trowa's number. A sleepy voice answered even as she screamed at the baby. "SHUT UP WOULD YOU? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION HERE?"  
  
"Kashoku?" Trowa's voice, undeniably threaded with concern barely reached her ear over the tyke's screaming.  
  
"TROWA! It's me. Okay. All right? I have the baby. Please come get it. Arrest me. Whatever! Just make it stop screaming! Please!"  
  
"Kashoku, what the hell are you talking about? It's almost 12 and I have to get up in 4 hours for questioning a suspect." Trowa seemed less than thrilled at this sudden admission of guilt at such a late hour.  
  
"I'm saying that I have Odin Yui, now will you PLEASE come arrest me?"  
  
Her desperate plea was answered with a longsuffering sigh. "Fine, I'll be over in 15 minutes, then we'll sort this out. But if this is a joke, I warn you I am going to be very upset."  
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~  
  
"Wufei, you could have sprung for the double room. I'd have liked to have the Jacuzzi." Musha mock-complained as they headed for the elevator. She barely registered Wufei behind her answering with some smart remark as she noted a familiar presence standing only a few feet away in their path.  
  
The person was embracing someone else tightly, a kiss that seemed to be taking the breath from the female in the man's arms from the looks of it. "Quatre!" She called out, a smile spreading across her face. A smile that disappeared as quickly as she realized who he'd been kissing. Tensei.  
  
She did register Wufei falling silent as she closed the distance between them and balled up her fist, slamming it into Tensei's face as hard as she could. There was a moment of silence from everyone in the foyer. Musha did not notice, as all she was focused on was the effect of her blow. As though in slow motion she saw Tensei's head snap back, her body falling back against Quatre's.  
  
Tensei stared at her for a moment then pushed herself off Quatre, staring at Musha in open anguish before turning on heel and dashing for the door. Musha watched her go. Quatre stared at her, obviously astonished by this behavior. A stormy expression, almost deadly passed over his eyes as he spoke to Wufei over Musha's head. "You should learn to control your woman."  
  
He did not give Musha time to respond but immediately gave chase after Tensei. Musha heard the short snort of laughter behind her and turned to face Wufei. He instantly stilled. "Sorry."  
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~  
  
The doorbell, the beautiful sound of the doorbell! Kashoku ran and snatched the door open, extending her wrists out to Trowa, handcuffs held in her grasp. "Here. Take me, please. I'm sorry I was involved, but it was something I couldn't help. Here, just take me away."  
  
A soft hiccupping cry could be heard from a crib in the corner of the room. Trowa brushed past her and made a beeline for it. He lifted the baby from the crib. Kashoku was stunned when the child instantly stopped crying and fell asleep in the arms of his Uncle Trowa. Trowa remained silent for a few minutes before placing the baby back into his crib. "Why'd you do it?" His question was direct as was his manner.  
  
Kashoku stared at him helplessly. "I'm not sure. All I know is that I'm so glad you came. You really rescued me Trowa."  
  
He merely sighed and stifled a yawn. "You abused your power and lied to everyone in the Preventers. You committed a felony."  
  
Her eyes lit up for a single brief moment. He didn't appear to be upset with her. "You mean you're not going to arrest me?"  
  
"Don't be stupid. Of course I'm going to arrest you. You kidnapped my friend's kid. You really are insane." He accepted the cuffs from her and pulled her hands behind her back. "You know your rights so I'm not even going to bother. Sit on the couch, right there, and don't move. I'm calling a unit to take you in."  
  
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~  
  
Quatre pulled in front of Tensei's apartment building and cut the engine. By the time he'd found her, she'd just gotten into a cab and was headed home. Her address was easy enough to get, after all, he had connections. There was no doubt in his mind that she wouldn't want to let him in after what he'd just witnessed. But then, she was as stubborn as Duo with a slice of chocolate cake.  
  
He found her door and rapped lightly, "Tensei, it's me. Open the door."  
  
"Go away, Quatre."  
  
He heard the muffled reply and knocked again. "No, I'm not going anywhere, so you might as well open the door."  
  
There was a marked snuffled and some shuffling on the other side. Finally the door was pulled open. She stared at him through teary eyes again. "You might as well go away, I'm busy."  
  
"Busy doing what? Getting ready to run again?" He stared her down, baby blues meeting cinnamon orbs ready to restrain her physically if necessary.  
  
"I'm having a pity party if you must know." She moved to shut the door. Quatre braced one hand against it and pushed his way inside.  
  
"You aren't going anywhere and I won't let you have a pity party." He shut the door behind him and locked it. "From this moment on, you belong to me, Tensei. I won't let you go anywhere without me. Ever. Marry me." With those words he moved closer to her closing his lips over hers and sealing his words. 


	12. Chapter Eleven Closer to Myself

Author's Notes: Okies, time for a new chapter. the fic is complete and we're already working on the sequel (and a side story ^^ ). REVIEW!  
  
~*~*~*~*~ Tainted Dream  
  
Chapter Eleven ~*~*~*~*~ The halls of the large building were long, and empty. Every sound echoed loudly. The quiet tapping of shoes against the floor, the steady breathing of the three people who marched so silently towards cell number six. The silence left Musha's head clear of any distractions, allowing her anger to rise on top of every other thought in her head. Anger at what, was the question. It was more confusion than anything. She had had plenty of time to replay the events of the last few years in her head. Memories of loneliness, pain, then friendship, glorious friendship that surpassed all uncertainty and assured her that no matter what, she would never be alone. Those happy memories soon changed into memories of confusion, and soon after, great loss and grief. Grief turned to acceptance, and love helped her to cope. After that, things were fine - until Tensei came back from the dead. She barely registered the obnoxious buzzing sound that signaled the door open. Musha raised her eyes and saw that they had finally come to cell number six. The guard stepped aside and let them in. "Five minutes is the limit for this one." He shook his head, "Be careful, okay?" Wufei nodded silently and absentmindedly took Musha's hand into his own as they entered. He could sense her confusion and wanted to reassure her that he would be there. The buzz rang once again and the door shut behind them. Musha turned her attention to the opposite direction, trying to fix her eyes on the man in the corner, her eyes adjusting to the darkness. "You've returned." His voice was not strong or confident like the last time that they visited but broken and tired. "I suppose that you suspect me of committing some sort of crime?" Musha fixed her eyes on the man but let Wufei ask all the questions. This was, after all his idea. She would just observe, which was all that she could muster the energy for anyway. "Mr. Foster, I assume that you are aware of why we are investigating you." Wufei began, eyes focused on the man in the corner. Wufei had this certain air about him, strong, firm and unmovable. Whenever Musha felt even the slightest bit uncomfortable, she could rely on Wufei to be there. Just looking at him would set her soul at ease. But right now, though Wufei stood strong, Musha still felt a weak and foreboding presence envelop her soul, threatening to swallow her whole. Colin merely nodded in response to Wufei's question, his face remaining impassive. He seemed calm, almost as if asleep, yet he was sitting up, and his eyes remained open, focused. Musha just stared, her eyes fixed on Colin's as Wufei rattled off question after question. Each was answered with a full, seemingly coherent and attentive, but his eyes would not leave Musha's. Samantha. Musha blinked, trying to snap out of her trance. She suddenly felt cold, alone. 'I'm hallucinating.' she thought, shaking her head slightly. Are you? ~*~*~*~*~  
  
Digging deep, I feel my conscience burn  
  
I need to know who and what I am  
  
This hunger jolts me from complacency  
  
It rocks me, makes me meet myself  
  
~*~*~*~*~ I feel. a certain peace. Like the thousands of voices that were screaming inside my head all suddenly died down to one soft, soothing whispered lullaby. This lullaby, one of simple happiness and contentment flows through my very soul as I write this right now. To this day I still don't know exactly what caused me to leave my life in Sanq and venture out to America. I left, and from that decision was born a new woman. No, not just another version of me with a new perspective on things, this was an actual different woman. She looked different, acted different, and went by a different name. Renee Williams did not just come into being and suddenly take over. No, she began as a tiny voice in the back of my head, calling to me. I tried not to listen to her, but there was something so soothing in her voice. She reminded me a bit of my mother; of course, the only memory that I have of my mother is her voice. When I heard about the plane crash, I made up my mind. To the world, Tensei Jiaino was dead, so instead of coming out and letting everyone know that I was, in fact all right, I let myself die, and let Renee take over. I can't help but wonder if Renee had anything to do with the plane crash. She knew that it would have been a major factor in my decision. But that's silly. She was nothing but a voice. For two years Renee ruled my body, my mind. She always assured me that Tensei was dead, but I always knew that she wasn't dead, but sleeping. I was fine with that. I didn't want to be Tensei anymore. For those two years I lived my life as Renee Williams. She was a quiet, shy, successful software developer, great at her job, and devoted. She seemed to give too much time to her work, but she didn't mind. She had no desire to make friend she even avoided them. Of course, Elizabeth was an exception, but Elizabeth was also very. assertive. Ok, so relentless is a better word. She jumped right in and befriended me. I didn't object though. She made a real effort. So, for two years, all I did was work, and fight my way out of Elizabeth's crazy blind dates. She'd always find some local guy who at least seemed interested. That was all well and good except for one thing: I wasn't interested. Not one bit. But now, I guess that her crazy blind date thing wasn't such a bad idea. In the end, I got to see Quatre again. Mind you, from the moment I saw him that time in the restaurant, I felt something inside me awaken. Soon, I found that it wasn't merely something inside me, but me, myself. Tensei was trying to come back, but Renee fought her with everything that she had. The next few weeks were nothing but an inner battle for me. I could feel these two wills fighting each other, struggling for dominance. And the winner was declared tonight. Quatre was not only firm in his words, but determined. He would not let me go, he made that clear. He simply announced his dominance over me, ordered me to marry him, and kissed me. Just like that. The funny thing is that it's already been two hours since his "request" and I still haven't given him an answer. I couldn't have at that moment. The battle within had grown so fierce that I probably wouldn't have been able to manage a clear answer anyway. But none of that mattered. The kiss grew only more passionate and I need not go into detail about what happened next. But I do know that in the end, it was Quatre that saved Tensei. The moment that we became one, I could see it on his face. He finally understood exactly what I was going through, as if he were just now experiencing it himself. When it was all over, I felt a new peace inside. He just smiled at me and kissed me gently. He didn't even say anything and soon, we fell asleep. For the last two years, I have recorded my thoughts and inner pains in this book, but I feel that I will no longer have a use for you anymore. I don't need a pencil and paper to cry to anymore. I have Quatre. Tensei smiled faintly as she ran her fingers across the pages of her book. Perhaps she would use it once more, if ever her pain was too much, went too deep for Quatre to understand. But she knew that she would always have him. Tensei set her book on the nightstand and leaned over to give Quatre a quick peck on the cheek before settling under the covers. She had fulfilled her obligation to her journal and now, she felt peace. ~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jacob walked a limp to remind him  
  
Of the greater gift of the greater one  
  
But when I fell, I fell to my own resources  
  
How can I carry a truth if I can't crawl to you?  
  
~*~*~*~*~ Wufei rubbed a bit of sleep from his eyes and focused once more on his notepad. Colin's voice almost reminded him of Hiiro's, low and monotonous. He felt as if he could fall asleep right then and there. He stole a glance at Musha, noticing that her eyes were still glued to the other man's. She had been like that through the entire interview and he was starting to wonder if she was alright. Musha didn't even take note of Wufei's curious gaze. She just watched Colin now, with a feeling like pure hatred flowing through her veins. She had just learned the truth of his telepathic abilities the hard way. 'Stop taunting me!' she knew that he could hear her thoughts, there was no point in dragging Wufei into this. But I have something to tell you. Will you listen? 'Tell Wufei! He's the one who's asking you questions!' Oh, but what I have to tell you has nothing to do with his questions, Samantha. 'Stop calling me that! Who are you?!' When his answer finally came, Musha felt her lungs tie themselves into one big knot. And he didn't stop there, no. He told her everything. everything. And she didn't even know why. "You bastard!!!" Musha let out a cry of pure rage as she launched herself at the man. Wufei was the first to react, abandoning the notebook to the floor and securing his arms around her waist, pulling her back. "Musha! What's wrong?!" "Kill him! Kill him now!!!" "Musha! Get a grip on yourself! What are you doing?" She didn't answer, just continued to struggle. Wufei shook his head and reached down with one hand to pick up the notes. "I'm sorry, Mr. Foster. We'll come back another time." It took him a moment to wrestle Musha out of the room, and Colin didn't so much as move. Something wasn't right. It took Wufei a few minutes to get Musha outside and down the hall to a generally secluded area. He actually had to force her up against the wall and hold her there with his own body. "What are you doing, Musha?" He demanded. "He's guilty, Wufei! Guilty of everything!!!" "What do you mean, Musha? Explain. I don't understand. How do you know this?" Musha shook her head. "You. you won't believe me." "Can you at least try?" Musha shook her head. "I. Wufei, give me a bit of time, please? I have to go see Quatre." Wufei blinked. "Quatre? But what does he have to do with all of this? He isn't even working on this case." "Wufei, please. This has everything to do with him. I'll explain later!" She ducked under his arms and ran down the hall. ~*~*~*~*~  
  
I wanna feel something sweeter than this sin  
  
Cover me in leaves and roll me over again  
  
I've been everybody else now I wanna be something  
  
Closer to myself  
  
~*~*~*~*~ He didn't know why he was there, not even what possessed him to entertain such a thought in the first place, but here he was, standing a good few feet away from Kashoku's cell. Trowa wasn't the first to speak. What could be said? He just watched her with his one visible green orb. "I have a hearing tomorrow morning." Kashoku finally broke the silence, eyes still not leaving their comfortable place on her lap. Trowa had never seen her so down, so defeated. Did she honestly believe that he wouldn't turn her in? "I see." Was all that he could offer. He didn't move. Didn't fidget or shift nervously from one foot to another. He just stood there, face stoic and impassive. Kashoku sighed and lifted her gaze to the man on the outside of the cell. She seemed to be debating with herself as she stared at him so thoughtfully. 'There's so much to this that he just doesn't know.' It was then that Kashoku's conscience made one of its rare appearances. She did feel a bit guilty for what she had done, not so much for taking the baby - he would be fine, but she had recently learned the true intentions of her boss' plans. She had the chance now to do something right, so why not take it? Perhaps she would receive forgiveness from the Divine one day? "Trowa, I have to tell you something." He didn't make a sound, just gave her his full attention as an eyebrow raised slightly upward. She knew that she would get in trouble for what she was about to do, but she was already in jail, and it wasn't like she would get out anytime soon. She would be safe from him in here. "You asked me why I did it. why I took Odin." He still did not move, and Kashoku felt like a five year old trying to fess up to breaking a window. "I was working for someone, Trowa. I didn't know at first just why he wanted me to take Odin, he just told me to grab the kid and hide him for a while. It wasn't until right before I called you that he told me his deal." She shook her head, feeling her heart beat faster. "That was WHY I called you. This guy is dangerous, Trowa, and I didn't want to be involved in this anymore. He was crying, and he wouldn't shut up! And I was scared. Damnit, I was scared. So I turned myself in. Trowa, everything isn't all better. That guy is still out there." The more she said, the faster her heart would beat. "He's still planning something. Odin was just part of the plan." Trowa still remained silent. He just watched her both in shock and concern. As she went on, her skin grew pale and perspiration poured down her face. Was she so consumed with guilt that she was making herself sick?  
  
"Trowa, it's that guy in New York! Colin Foster! The one that Musha and Wufei are going to see! You can't let them meet him, he's dangerous!" "Kashoku, what are you talking about? What does he have to do with this???" Trowa was worried now. Kashoku's hands were now shaking, along with her voice. Gossip isn't nice, Kashoku. The woman's eyes went wide with fear as she clutched both sides of her head. "Leave me alone! I don't work for you anymore!" That's true, and you've worn out your usefulness. You were good, Kashoku, but you slipped. My work has no room for mistakes. "What about you?! You failed!!! Odin has been found and your sister still hasn't come back!" Trowa just watched in silent shock as Kashoku seemed to battle with an invisible monster. She shook her head vigorously, falling onto her knees. "YOU FAILED!!!" Those were her last words before her body began to convulse. Trowa could do nothing but watch as her body fell limp onto the cold cell floor. It only took a few moments for the guard to rush in. He didn't even acknowledge Trowa as he unlocked the cell and pushed his way inside. A quick check of her pulse confirmed what was already so painfully obvious. Kashoku was dead. ~*~*~*~*~ Elizabeth stared blankly at a piece of paper that she held tightly in her hands. It was a letter from her boss requesting that she return right away. Ever since they'd joined with the Winner Corporation, business had picked up. There were projects stacked miles high and he needed her back.  
  
She shook her head almost in disbelief as she read on. Had she actually thought that she would never have to go back? She had been working for Peterson Developing for the last five years and enjoyed it very much, but now, she couldn't go back. She couldn't face her past.  
  
Things were going just great until he started to influence her. She found herself befriending the new employee, Renee Williams. When she first started, she was very insecure and paranoid of everything. Colin told her to help her to adjust to her new life. At first, she just thought that he meant to help her adjust to life in a new country, but it wasn't until a month later that she found out the truth behind his intentions.  
  
He was the one who told her. He just casually explained to her one day all of Renee's past as Tensei Jiaino. It was funny, she never would have recognized her from the images that she'd seen on the news back when all that crazy stuff was happening over in Sanq.  
  
Elizabeth wasn't a bad person. No, far from it actually, so why didn't she stop raising Renee when she knew that Tensei was trapped inside? She wasn't sure. She got to the point where she would find herself setting Renee up on all sorts of blind dates. Renee was too shy to introduce herself to other men, so Elizabeth took it upon herself to make sure that she would find a man. A boyfriend would be just the anchor that Renee would need to stay in New York. Unfortunately for Elizabeth, Renee rejected every single man that she went out with, which in the end turned out to be a relief to Elizabeth. She was fighting herself on her feelings about this. Her true self cried out for her to stop ruining this woman and help her rediscover her past, but Colin's power over her was too strong.  
  
It was two whole years until Elizabeth finally found something that might work. She was too weak against Colin to help Renee herself, but she knew someone who could help, and she had connections. That was why she called Duo and set up a date for Renee and Quatre Winner. That was the last desperate attempt of her conscience to right the wrongs that she had committed.  
  
Well, here she was now in Sanq. Through this fiasco, she got back together with Duo, and from what she had heard, Renee has seen Quatre at least a couple times by now. All she could do was hope that he would be the strength that Renee needed to change back to her normal self. Perhaps Renee's normal self would forgive her? She could only hope.  
  
For now, she had a letter of resignation to write, addressed to Mark Peterson. She just couldn't go back. New York was now a dark place of her past.  
  
~*~*~*~*~ Paint me in a different light Shed me yet another coat of skin Mark me with ash until I'm clean again Cause I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired I know I can love you, I know that I can ~*~*~*~*~  
  
Knock knock knock!  
  
Quatre groaned and glanced at the clock. It was five in the morning! Who could that be? He sat up and slid out of bed, careful not to wake Tensei, then trudged over to the door. When he saw who was on the other side, he immediately frowned. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Musha sighed. "I'm sorry to come so early, but I have something urgent to tell you."  
  
"You still haven't apologized, you know." Quatre replied dryly, showing no particular interest in what Musha had to say.  
  
She just clenched her fists and ignored that comment. She was not going to apologize, not anytime soon. "Listen, Quatre. I need to talk to you. It's about Tensei."  
  
"Oh, really?" Quatre looked sarcastically shocked, "I didn't think that you'd care."  
  
Doing her best to conceal her anger, Musha grabbed Quatre by the arm and dragged him into the hall. "This is important, Quatre. Listen to me, please?"  
  
Quatre sighed and rubbed a bit of sleep from one eye. "Fine. What is it?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~ I wanna feel something sweeter than this sin Cover me in leaves and roll me over again I've been everybody else now I wanna be Something closer to myself 


	13. Chapter Twelve Scattered Shadows

Bekki's Notes: Whoa! Time for the last chapter! I feel kinda bad for not posting this. it's been sitting on my computer for a few months now. -_- I've just been so busy with college. @_@  
  
Anyhoo, after this chapter is an epilogue! Then that's it! No more until the third book in this series, Sacred Dream. Thanks to all of you that have kept with this story! I'm sorry that it's taken so long to post! I promise to stay on top of it from now on!  
  
Anyhoo, this chapter was written by the amazing Amanda! And look, look! We have a cameo! Yay!  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~ Tainted Dream  
  
Chapter Twelve ~*~*~*~*~  
  
The hallways seemed to be alive. Shadows danced along the corridor, taking on a life of their own, solidified by the cruel intentions of the lost souls dwelling within. Imagine a place as such, where the light of the sun doesn't touch the shadow ridden ground. A place where the merciful water of friendship, relationships, and even mere contact were forever closed off to those trapped within. It was known as the ultimate punishment. For one to be locked away in the darkness forever severed from all other human contact. What would occur first, and which would be more desirable, death or insanity? A shiver passed through Musha's spine. Even after all she had seen, and all she had done, places like these still unnerved her. 'Ultimate Punishment' she thought bitterly, the sound of her feet against the tiling echoing into her heart. 'If they'd wanted punishment, they should have switched places with Tensei or myself. Tensei. that name again! Why was it that no matter what she did, or said, she couldn't rid herself of that name!? She had committed so many crimes, betrayed her in so many ways, why couldn't she just forget all that had transgressed. Then again, that was the whole reason why she was here again, in this place where shadows seemed alive and ready to feed on her very sanity itself. The reason she'd gone to Quatre for help was to in some way, shape, or form, save Tensei. Wasn't it? "We're here." She stopped and snarled. "You think I don't know that Quatre?" Quatre very nearly glared at Musha. "Considering the way you've been acting lately, I'm surprised that you can notice anything at all." "Look, I'm not here to talk to you Quatre, or to make peace. Understand that before you realize anything else. "I doubt that you would have been forgiven even if that was what you came in search of, Hoshi. Should I even bother asking why you came to me then?" Hoshi, he was calling her Hoshi now? Musha froze and stared at him. Hoshi was the name reserved for a killer, a nameless and faceless person of the battlefield, one that had gone as far as to betray her only friend, in the heat of the battle. "I." She couldn't falter! Not now! She couldn't show weakness! "Revenge is a powerful motivator." He paused, and entered the passwords so he could walk into the room before them. "If that's what you live for, why aren't you the one locked inside these walls?" Musha wasn't quite sure how to react. Up until a few days ago, she never would have imagined Quatre being like this towards anyone, much less herself, one of his friends. or, at least she used to be one of his friends. "When did you become so cold, Quatre?" Quatre didn't answer. He didn't have to. As he quietly stepped into the cell, Musha understood clearer than she ever had before. He shared a bond with Tensei. The hatred that she and Tensei shared right now was passed on and increased through that bond. In other words, the hatred that she held for Tensei was now reserved for Quatre. Hmph, it explained why Quatre and Wufei hated each other now though. 'Two birds with one stone, how ironic.' The bitter thought assaulted her mind before she could stop it, and that mere thought brought with it the realization of the truth. She and Tensei were enemies. Everything that had happened before, all the joys and sorrows that they had shared, all of it! Gone. Faded into the past without a trace. They had said it themselves; the day that Tensei left Sanq, this was the day that they died. The dying hadn't meant their lives though - it had meant their friendship. And this man before her, Colin Foster, it was his fault! Adrenaline surged through Musha as she sprinted into the darkened room. It was his fault! All of it! It had to be! She would make Colin pay the same way she had made Master U suffer. She swore on her name. "Colin!" He looked up calmly at Quatre, as Musha ran into the room. "You don't believe her." His voice was level once more, calm, cool, and not a bit shaky. Quatre crossed his arms over his chest. "Of course I do!" "No, you don't." "Are you implying that I trust the word of a mad man over her?" "Hatred, as revenge, is a powerful thing." Colin spoke his words with authority, as if he controlled these very sins himself. Quatre's attention slipped and his eyes darted to the side. Had he not been trained, had he not learned to always pay attention to the smallest of things, he would have ignored it. Instead, his wrist caught Musha's just as she was clicking the safety off of the gun that she so swiftly stole from his pocket. "You see Quatre?" Colin shook his head and stood up. "Hatred is powerful." "And you control hatred in others, don't you, Colin?" The look in Musha's eyes was one that struck an all too familiar chord within Quartre's heart. It was like looking into a mirror, Musha's eyes, filled with so much grief and anger were just like his had been while he was controlling the zero system. Or rather, when the zero was controlling him. "Musha!" He hissed. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "Don't you see Quatre? It's all him! All his fault!" She clenched her hands tightly over the gun, her hands trembling. If she took away his life.if she ended this fool's life, then all the pain would just go away. Right? "Musha!" She tore her gaze away from the monster before her. Her eyes found Quatre's, but it felt as though she was staring at him through an ocean. "What are you doing!?" "All the hurt, Quatre. Everything Tensei did to me, everything I did to her. All of that hatred! He spawned it all! The broken friendship. it's his fault! He...he needs to suffer as Tensei and I have suffered!" Quatre felt his eyes grow wide. There was a reason for it? For all of it? The blame was all to be placed on Colin? Of course! It made sense! Friendships as strong as the one these two girls shared, they were too powerful to simply be shattered by a few disagreements! Musha felt tears trickle down her face. "Quatre, I'm so sorry! We were under control! Don't you see? All the hatred was created by-" "You're wrong." Colin interrupted. Musha raised the gun again, aiming it where his heart should be. "What?!" "Hatred cannot be created, Musha." He narrowed his eyes and took a step forward, holding his hands out as if willing her to shoot the gun, feed that hatred. "I can suggest it, manipulate it and strengthen retaliation, but I can't force you to say things, do things, or feel things! It was all you." "W-what?" She stepped back, the hatred fleeing from her eyes to be replaced by fear. "No. You're lying! None of it was me!" He shook his head. "You made Tensei feel that hatred, made her hate you! What you feel now, she gave it to you herself! It wasn't me! I can suggest, but I can't create!" The gun fell from her grasp, echoing against the tile floor as Musha herself fell to her knees, eyes wide and seeing nothing but her own grief. "You did it Musha, and she did it herself! Both of you killed each other!" "Stop it." "Musha and Tensei. From the moment that you two woke up in that room, all alone with no memory of who you were, you promised to be together forever, but you two broke that promise. Now, you two are enemies! Because of your own hate for each other!" "Stop it.." "Running! To place the blame upon someone else!" "STOP IT!" Quatre lunged. It happened so quickly, and so suddenly, that no one would have had the chance to react. He himself didn't even realize what he'd done until the sound of flesh hitting flesh sounded in the air. "You know." He growled out, grasping Colin by the front of his shirt and lifting his feet from the floor, feeling his anger strengthen his resolve. "You know who Tensei is, who she really is. You know all about them!" His space heart didn't fail him this time. He could sense Colin's very knowledge of this. "Of course I know!" Colin shouted, "And that's why she's going to come back to me." "What?" Boy, that word had been used a lot today, hadn't it? Colin shook his head, not even making an effort to break free. "Tensei. Her real name, her rightful name is Melody. Melody Foster. My sister." Can a world stop, with a single sentence, with a single revelation? Simply stop spinning? And yet, even as the walls of the world came shattering down, the broken pieces all fell into place. Colin Foster was Tensei's older brother, Melody's brother. Insanity, he could control people with his heart and mind, and that power had ultimately driven him insane. Tensei, was it possible she possessed the same power? How many times had Quatre simply known where Tensei was? How she was feeling, what she was doing. Even before they had fallen in love. He had somehow known of the connection between Tensei and Hikari, before it had been proclaimed. Yes, Tensei did possess the same power. Master U, he must have known about that power, and that's why he had gone after Tensei, in the first place. And that same power, it had been driving Tensei insane! Colin. He just wanted his sister back, but his broken mind couldn't define right from wrong, anymore. All of it! The damn story, all of it made sense! Wait, Colin was still talking. Talking about how he'd win her back and Tensei would come back to him. That she'd stay there with him. Rage unlike anything he had ever felt before, beyond even when his father had been killed by the very people he sought to protect, boiled up within Quatre. He couldn't see, couldn't feel, couldn't think. The only thing that mattered was this burning desire for revenge. Musha was right. Revenge was a powerful thing. Without a sound, Quatre reached back, and punched Colin hard in the jaw. The resounding crack satisfied him on some sick level. "Tensei is not coming back to you, Colin." He narrowed his eyes, and calmly picked up his discarded gun, then aimed it between Colin's eyes. "You've killed so many people, caused so much pain and anguish. You. nearly drove Tensei to insanity. For that, you cannot be forgiven. Colin's eyes widened, perhaps this concept somehow made its way into his clouded mind, or perhaps he was simply in pain from his broken jaw, or the gun pointing at his head. No matter what it was, somehow he understood. "But.she needs me! She will come back! She will. She will. I'm her family!" "You don't deserve her, Colin." He clicked off the safety of his gun. "She has a new family, and I intend to take much better care of her than you did. This is for Tensei and the pain that you have caused her! Goodbye." "HEY!" The officer's voice broke through the confusion. "You two done questioning him yet?" Quatre quickly put his gun away, ignoring the muttering Colin as he grabbed Musha by the wrist and dragged her towards the door. "Yes, we're done! Sorry to keep you waiting!" Colin watched Quatre leave, hate flickering in his eyes. "I have been taking care of her. She was fine until you came back!" "Lets go, Quatre." Musha threw one last broken glare over her shoulder, before standing of her own power and walking out of the room. Obviously having come back to her senses. "Lets just, end this." ~*~*~*~*~  
  
Trowa stepped silently over the Earth, his eyes glassy and emotionless as he began the long hike back home. Of course, he had to tell Relena that Odin had been found. He had to tell them as soon as possible. Then, if that was the case, why had he not taken his car from the prison? Why was he walking, allowing the wet Earth to soak into his shoes with the promise of a painful cold for a few days in the near future? A loon sounded somewhere in the distance, but he paid it no heed. He just continued in his walk, not pausing even once. She was gone, dead. The investigators had called it a nervous breakdown. He snorted, his eyes darkening with grief. It didn't matter how she'd died. All that mattered was the fact that she was dead. Dead. The word taunted him, laughing. Never mind the fact that she had been an enemy, that she had caused so much suffering to the Yuis. The pain in his heart remained. He bit his tongue until he tasted blood, fighting off the urge to scream his grief to the Heavens. Or perhaps, carry her name to the Heavens. In some way, shape or form, make the world remember the girl who had just died that night, and had no one to mourn for her. Mourn. That's just what he was doing, wasn't it? He shook his head. Such a word didn't belong in his vocabulary. He had never hesitated to kill anyone before, and he had never mourned any innocents or victims, so why was he mourning the death of a woman who deliberately lied to him? Why was his heart so heavy, and his soul so filled with grief, for what else could be used to describe this emotion, over the passing of Kashoku. 'Could she.' He thought somberly as he slowed in his trek. 'Could she really have changed me, as she claimed that she would have?' He could have sworn, that for a faint instant he felt something hit the back of his head. As he turned around to discover the source, the wind seemed to whisper around him. 'What did you expect? Of course I changed you? Now stop with the damn pity party and get on with your life! Don't expect me to wait around for you if you go on acting like this!' Trowa blinked his one visible green eye, and shook his head. However, as he continued the walk back through the streets of Sanq he couldn't explain why his heart felt oddly, lighter. *** 'He was right. Truly, it's difficult to say which is worse, the fact that there is no way to go back to the way things were, or the fact that what Colin said was true. I was running. ' I was Musha! In the grand scheme of things, I'd convinced myself that I didn't matter! My life, compared to anyone else's, was worthless! And I would, and should, die for them if it came to the choice of their life, or mine. After a while, you stop fearing death, if you live in its shadow every moment of your life. 'The great and honorable Musha. Right. Damn it all!' She lifted her hand and silently toyed with the Star pendant, which still glittered up proudly from her neck. It had all been true, there had been no manipulations, just pure, raw emotion. Hatred. "Tensei." Lowering her gaze to the ground, tears begin to trickle down her cheeks. "Everything you said, everything I said. All of it was true, wasn't it?" The light caught a small photograph clenched in her fist, of two teenagers laughing in front of a camera. Frozen in time. Laughter, smiles, joy, things sacred between the two girls in the past no longer had a place in the present, or the future. "Our friendship, was it only a lie? All these years?" "Musha?" Wufei stepped quietly behind her, resting a hand on her shoulder. They'd arrived back in Sanq only a few hours ago, and Musha had taken off mere moments after that. "Wufei...I...." She shook her head, a dry sob escaping her throat. "It's all over, isn't it? Our friendship, our dreams, our hopes, all of it is over! Because of me! Because of my damn ignorance and stupidity! It's all my fault!" The tears came then, a great flood of emotions that had waited far to long to break free. "Shh, Musha." He grabbed her shoulder tighter, and she fought him off, turning to run again. Quickly, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly in his arms. She pounded her fist against his shoulder for a moment, before her knees seemed to give out from underneath her and she simply sobbed. "It's okay." He blinked in faint surprise as he felt a few tears fill his own vision. With a muttered curse, he wiped them away. One of them needed to be strong now. He could think about loosing his friendship with Quatre later, his comrade. Right now, Musha needed him. "It's my fault." Her voice came out a broken whisper. "No. Not all of it." He whispered, holding her close. "It's all of us. Tensei, she became too lost within her own problems to notice the outside world anymore." "But, my own ignorance kept me from accepting what was happening. I put all the blame on Colin." She paused then added. "Even though it was that bastard's fault and he should pay for it, it was still my doing. I didn't want to accept what was there, and it's my fault that the friendship is gone." "No, Musha." He sighed, how could he explain this to her when he didn't even understand it. "The way things turned out, are just like they were on a battlefield." Oh great, comparing a woman's heart to a bloody war ground. Great. "Battles are always filled with chaos, right and wrong, planning and conscious thought are all lost. People seek for a way to place the blame on something, anything else." A memory of his colony being destroyed, and the brief insanity that had followed it, filled his vision. "It's just the way things turned out." She sniffled and rested her head fully in his embrace. No more strength left. "The way things turned out to be sucks." A sigh. "Human emotions, our faults and our errors, our own damn ignorance." Wufei almost smiled there, it had been his own ignorance that had nearly prevented him from allowing himself to accept his emotions for Musha. "All of these are stupid." "I know." What else could be said? How long they stayed there, holding each other in a comforting embrace was lost to them. It could have been moments or hours until Musha finally spoke. "Lets, go back Wufei." She shivered. Blinking, he looked down at her, surprise lingering on his features. "Why? You, love looking at the stars." "I'm, not feeling very well." Without a word, he gently placed one hand below her knee's, and the other along her back. Then, he picked her up, and holding her close, began the long trek back to their house. *** 'No! No no NO! Just, leave me alone! Why can't you just do that?' 'You already know the answer to that Elizabeth.' 'NO! I refuse to believe it! I am not your puppet Colin! I don't depend upon you to live, or to thrive! I have my own life, my own love. I don't need you there to call the shots!' 'I AM YOUR LIFE, ELIZABETH!' The voice in her mind almost seemed frantic at this point. She could feel him grasp memories buried deep within her and play them before her minds eye. She was nothing more to him than a helpless victim, a random woman who was in the wrong place at the wrong time when Colin decided to seek help. All he had to do was bring back painful memories of her past, and she would do anything he asked until he released her from her pain. These memories, they had always worked in the past. Whenever she'd began to stray, or to wonder if she could make it on her own, he'd brought up these memories and she had instantly discarded the thoughts of life on her own. But not this time, no, never again. 'I'm not going back to you this time Colin.' 'You have no choi-' 'Yes I DO!' Dimly, she heard the front door open and close. Footsteps sounded softly, but all of that seemed so, far away. 'You only have the power to suggest things Colin! And, to the weak of heart, you can convince them of things! I know that, because I AM WEAK! But, not anymore! I'm not coming back to you! Never again!' A faint tingling began in the back of her mind, threatening to be the start of a headache. She rubbed her hand along her forehead, wiping away the cold sweat that had begun to form as well then went back to her mental battle. 'I have too much to live for now Colin. I'm not as weak as I once was, and I won't give up. Tensei is my friend-' 'Renee was your friend! And Tensei killed her-' 'NO! Tensei was the real Renee all along! Don't try to fool me again Colin! It won't work! I'm my own person now! Don't even try it!" The footsteps that had sounded before ceased. They disappeared from Elizabeth's mind, along with nearly everything else, almost instantly. 'I'm sorry you feel that way, Elizabeth. You showed such promise.' Elizabeth's eyes widened with alarm. "Wha-" Pain! Blinding white pain exploded behind her eyelids. A scream sounded from the air, ringing and consuming all before it. The sound almost seemed to grow louder as time passed, consuming her mind and all the rest of her senses. Then, a new sound grew and surpassed even that horrible scream. Colin's laughter, it shouted within her mind until she thought her eyes must be bleeding. Along with God knew what else. Then, she dimly felt to strong arms wrap around her waist, as well as a frantic voice shouting her name. That voice. That new voice shouting almost seemed to drown out Colin's laughter. Dim it somehow, to a certain extent. When unconsciousness finally came, it was a blessing. ~*~ "Elizabeth!" Duo dropped the roses he'd been carrying them, falling to the floor all but forgotten as he caught the girl, stopping her from crashing brutally into the floor below. "Elizabeth!" He gasped as he struggled to hold onto her. Her entire body was shaking, as if she was dying! "Elizabeth! Gods, don't die on me!" He could only see the whites of her eyes, and her sweaty skin made it even harder to hold onto her. Now, he was no doctor but even he knew that that was NOT a good sign! Before he was even aware of what he was doing, he grasped his cell phone and called for an ambulance. The voice of an operator came on, and asked him to hold. Hold? Hold?!? "Listen to me, whoever the HELL you are! Get a DAMN ambulance down here NOW! If you even put me on hold for a SECOND, there will be HELL to pay!" ******* "So that's it? It's all over? That's the end of it?" "Apparently." Quatre flicked off the light and wrapped his arms around Tensei, simply enjoying having her in his embrace. The bed shifted slightly as Tensei rolled over. A great whoosh of air escaped from her lungs. "It's just..." "Tensei." Somehow she was able to see his eyes even in the dark. Filled with love and concern for her. He gently brushed some hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Goose bumps littered her flesh from where his skin touched her own. "You don't need to say anything." "Yes I do, Quatre." She shut her eyes and lay down next to him, her head resting in the crook of his neck. "It's all my fault, isn't it?" She whispered. "If I had never left-" "Then the same thing would have happened!" Quatre sighed. This was his love's greatest weakness. She always placed the blame on herself, be it something small like a lost piece of jewelry or something as huge as this. According to her, it was always her fault. That's why he had made it his job to protect her; both from the monsters in the outside world, and the demons within her heart. "Don't blame yourself Tensei, please. Musha didn't understand, she couldn't have understood. Everything, was so easy for her after you left." A trembling sigh escaped her lips, and Quatre gently kissed away a few of the tears that began to trickle down her cheeks. "No more tears, Tensei, no more tears." "No more tears...." She shut her eyes. "Musha, why couldn't you understand me?" A memory lingered in her minds eye. Tensei and Musha saying goodbye that fateful day at the airport. 'This is the day we die, huh?' They had died, not physically or in the sense that most people would assume following that word. Their' friendship had died, the bond that had been there for so long had shattered, and left the two of them apart and, in a sense, dead. Then what of her bond with Quatre? Could it suffer the same fate? "Quatre, I..." He shook his head, and gently ran his fingers up and down her arm. He kissed her one last time on the lips, and then, lulled by the soft petting motions, the thought that had been so urgent to stay faded away, and Tensei fell asleep with a gentle smile on her face. ******* "She'll come back! I know she'll come back! She will come back, she has to!" Colin rocked back and forth, holding himself in the fetal position. His voice grew to a high pitch suddenly, almost in a frighteningly desperate song. "She will come back! She has to come back! She has to!" A harsh beam of light suddenly struck the room, followed by the soft sounds of footsteps. Colin looked up. His eyes grew wide with sudden realization. "You?" The lone sound of a single bullet was the only thing that shattered the silence that followed. ******* Violet eyes scanned the area before in nothing short of confusion. The outline of monstrous machines filled the inky darkness. Cold bitter air assaulted the corridors of the long abandoned basement, causing a few ripples in the puddles of oil and grease that littered the floor. This wasn't right. Musha walked in a circle, inching past the demons that seemed to line the walls. She'd fallen asleep in Wufei's arms, on the soft grasses of Sanq. Why was she in a basement? And why was everything so big? It was so hard to see, why couldn't someone turn on the lights? Everything seemed to crowd around her, suffocating. She couldn't help but let out a nervous squeak when her foot stumbled over a large piece of tin. "Damnit! Ow..." Wait, who had said that? It couldn't have been her voice! It was so, high-pitched. "Hello?" The strange voice trembled, sounding as if it was on the verge of tears. Whatever it was sounded young. But, there was no way, right? Tentatively, Musha opened her eyes and grabbed the piece of tin before her. A crazy impulse, but... A young girl with messy blonde hair and frightful violet eyes, looking no older than five at the most, stared back at her in the place her reflection should have been. "WHAT! Whoa" The tin fell from her frozen hands. "There is no way! I can't be, it can't be." Her eyes scanned the room with a new light. The monstrous outlines no longer seemed as intimating or ugly, but rather strikingly familiar. Forming a shape that she had seen many a times in the past. A being she missed desperately, yet loathed at the same time. Her little feet began to move at an accelerated pace. Soon, she was traveling at an all out sprint. "I know this place! I know! "There! To the left, that's where I cut my knee, the first time I was here! Over there, that's where Tensei somehow repaired the prototype I destroyed before Master U found out. "The oil spills and the hanging wires that were the training grounds for practice assaults!" Her eyes were wide as her child like form began to pant. Finally, as the monstrous shape loomed before her, she finally allowed herself to stop in her run and stare up at it. "And here...this is the place where I first met you. When I discovered we'd be partners." She took small step forward. "How can you be here?" The emotionless gold eyes of Stars Fury hummed to life, before the machine stood up on its own. **** "Have I finally lost my mind?" Tensei looked around, pulling her short messy hair out of her eyes; the same haircut she'd been forced to wear during her training with Master U. Where was she? Everything was dark, a dream, perhaps? She recalled falling asleep in Quartre's arms, content. An ironic smile quirked her lips. "Or maybe, I HAVE finally lost my mind." "How can you be here?" Tensei whirled around towards the source of the voice. The transparent form of Musha stared past her. Not the person who Tensei had grown to hate over the last few weeks, but the confused child she had come to love, and now miss, during her time training with Master U. Before she could so much as utter a scream, the child Musha stepped right through her, and vanished without a trace. "W-What?" Her knees gave out from under her and she gasped. "What was that? I really have lost my mind, just like Colin did." Tears began to flood her eyes, and she shut them in an attempt to stop the assault. She'd shed enough tears over the last few weeks to fill an ocean. There was no need for them anymore! "Why can't it all just end?" A soft hum filled her ears, followed by the creak of machinery. Driven by some unseen power, or curiosity, Tensei somehow found the strength within her to look up. She squinted her eyes- there was nothing there but darkness. "H-hello?" Gah! She hated this! She'd had enough of crying, but the child- like version of her didn't seem to want to stop the tears. Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself. "Who's there? Show yourself and bring me out of this dream!" She waited. And waited. And nothing happened. "Great..." Slowly, she stood up. Apparently, if she wanted to see what was in front of her, she'd have to find out for herself. 'I should be more afraid of this, shouldn't I?' She thought quietly as she took one step, and then another. 'This all feels so familiar though, as if I've been here before.' Suddenly, she stopped. An image filled her mind, a painfully familiar one at that. Raising her head, she didn't so much as gasp in surprise as her little eyes lay upon the figure that she had known would be there. "Kaikou." ***** "How can you be here?" Musha crossed her small legs in StarsFury's large hand, which had been extended for her. "How can I be here at that? I'm, a child again." She swallowed; her childhood had been bad enough the first time around. "We're in the base back at Master U's headquarters. This place was destroyed, and so were you." She lowered her head. "Look at me, five years old again. I'm talking to a machine. One that was already" she couldn't bring herself to say scrapped. "Destroyed. You're gone." 'I'm here.' Musha's eyes shot open, and she would have fallen out of the hand had one of the 'fingers' braced itself along her back. The gold eyes hummed with the same emotionless aura. That voice! She did not hear it, no. no she did not hear a thing, but she felt it. "Stars Fury?" No reply. Standing up, she stared at it unblinking. "You just spoke to me. I know you did!" It was impossible, wasn't it? To the mind of an adult, the concept that a machine would be able to speak and hold conscious opinion was impossible, but to the mind of a child... "Stars Fury. Please...." She refused to lower her gaze. "I, please, I've lost so much! Tell me what's happening!" Tears again! Had she always cried this much as a child? "What you lost, was your own choice." The hand beneath her moved, and she suddenly found herself eye level with the Gundam. "You're real. But, how? How can you be real?" Her fingers touched the cool Gundanium. Lifeless, it had to be. "A soldier sacrifices a part of them self to bring peace to the world. What was torn away was given to me." She shook her head. This made no sense. Perhaps she really was losing her mind. But, did that matter right now? Her Gundam, it was before her. "This makes no sense." "War is chaos. War does not make sense." Laughter broke forth from her lips. "You came back from the dead to tell me that?" "No." "Well then." She placed her small hands on her small hips. An expression that was completely unsuited for a child of her age lingering on her face. "What are you here for?" "To say goodbye." **** "Kaikou? How can you be here?" Tensei shook her head and gently laid her small hand by the base of it. "How...what's going on?" She knew really, to a certain extent. She was a child again, and she was in the place where she had first met Kaikou. Everything was as it was, right down to the age. The Gundam stirred and the eyes glowed with a blue light. "Kaikou?" "I am here." She gasped and stumbled backwards, her back coming against the large mechanical hand, which had been lowered. Once again, tears stung her eyes. Her Gundam, Kaikou was here! Memories of the day of the final battle against Master U assaulted her mind. She'd remained conscious long after the Omega system should have rendered her unconscious. There was no doubt in her mind that Kaikou had somehow kept her conscious through all of that. This machine that she had hated for so long, it saved her life. "How. how can you be here, Kaikou?" "There is no time." "What? What do you mean no time? What's happening?" "Goodbye young fighter." Her eyes widened. "Young fighter...NO!" She shook her head frantically. "NO! Kaikou!" Running forward, her feet seemed to spur on a life of their' own. "Kaikou, my name is Tensei!" She couldn't explain why it was so important that it learn her real name, it just was. "My name is Tensei! I'm no longer a fighter. At first, she thought she was to late, then the soft whispering in her mind seemed to echo. "Goodbye, Tensei." Soft footsteps sounded behind her. As she turned around, a familiar voice echoed the words that her Gundam had just spoken. Another person stepped into view and she gasped. "Who are you?" The boy before her smiled sadly and approached the young girl. "Melody." He spoke her name so reverently, as if he had been waiting all his life to see her, little did she know that he had. "I'm sorry." And then he was gone. "Hey wait! Come back! Colin!" Wait. how did she know his name? "Tensei! Hey?" Quatre shook her gently, still holding her in his tender embrace with concern in his eyes. "You were crying out for Colin, are you alright?" "I-I." She turned her gaze to the window. The rising sun, a new beginning. A new day had dawned. "Colin." her voice was but a whisper, but her heart heard it well. Colin. she knew that name. It was so familiar, yet not. but a voice inside told her just to move on. to forget the past and start new. 'Don't make the same mistake...' "Tensei?" He gently stroked her cheek, and Tensei's heart almost broke at the love in the caress. He was making sure that she was still here, still with him. Did he really love her that much? Yes. She knew that he'd always be there for her. Though her mind raced with questions about who that small boy was, her heart was content. happy. So for the very first time, she decided to follow that still, small voice that had been so persistent for all these years. She would forget about the past and truly move on. "I...Quatre, can we leave?" "Leave?" A moment of silence passed between the two. "..." A soft sigh behind her, and he gently shifted position. Not a moment later, she felt soft lips on her forehead. Was it possible, for anyone, to be loved so much? No more words needed to be said. ***** "Musha?" Wufei practically screamed in frustration when he saw her through the window. Sitting calmly on the roof, staring up at the fading stars. "Damnit! What the hell do you think you're doing?" In two quick steps, he closed the distance between then and sat down in front of her, his dark eyes glaring into her own in the rising sun. "Where the hell were you?" "On the roof." A sound that sounded suspiciously like a growl escaped from his lips. He grasped her shoulders and held her in a near death grip. Amazing how history repeats itself. This is exactly how he had held her when trying to convince her not to leave Sanq for the first time. "What are you doing here? Last night you told me you weren't feeling well. I wake up this morning, and you're gone. What were you doing!?" "Fei, you sound like a worried sick mother." "ONNA!" "Don't call me that." A soft smile lingered on her lips and she turned her gaze to him. "I was just, thinking." "Thinking?" He stared at her incredulously. "You were just, thinking? On the roof?" "Convenient place, huh?" An exasperated sigh left his lips, and he flopped down on the roof next to her. The sun rose and the light began to race along the land. "Odin was found, right?" Wufei watched her out of the corner of his eyes. Why had she brought that up? "Yeah, last night. Kashoku had him all along." She smiled again. "Yeah. Wufei, did you ever think, that Shenlong was more than just a machine?" Okay, now the conversation was getting weird. "What does that have with you being on the roof Onna?" "Just answer the question. And don't call me that." He grunted, and then stared straight ahead again. "I believed, that Nataku's spirit lived inside the Machine she had died to protect." Another smile spread across Musha's face. "So, our Gundams have spirits inside of them." "What does this have to do with you being on the roof?" She grinned and then wrapped her arm around him, kissing him lightly on the cheek. "Nothing, nothing at all, Fei-chan." With that said, she jumped up and walked back inside. Wufei stared at her retreating form. Fei-chan? **** "Odin!" Relena sobbed as she took the young child into her arms. She held him, vowing never to let him go. She'd been given a second chance, how many mothers had wished for such a gift. Hiiro laughed, he actually laughed, as he himself ran into the room. When Trowa had come to get them, told them the news, Relena had taken off at a speed that would make nearly all creatures alive green with envy. Their son was alive! Safe. Trowa stood silently in a corner, his face baring a placid expression, which the likes of hadn't been seen for over two years. Hiiro paid none of this any heed however. Business, fighting, questions. All of them could wait. His son was ALIVE! "Hiiro." Relena turned around, laughing in sheer joy. She kept opening her mouth, but no words could leave it besides that beautiful laughter. Hiiro ran up to the two of them, and picked Relena up in his arms before spinning both her and Odin around. Relena rested her head on his shoulder, gently cradling the giggling Odin. "We're a family again, Hiiro." A family. His family. Pulling away, he stared down at the beautiful face of his wife, and the chubby face of his son. His family, what had he, a soldier stained with so much blood, done to deserve such a thing? Suddenly, his knees gave out from under him and he collapsed into a kneeling position. He ignored Trowa's cry of alarm, and Lady Une's surprised shout. He didn't even flinch when he heard Relena's soothing voice assuring everyone that nothing was wrong. Hiiro Yui paid attention to none of these things. He simply kneeled down at Heavens door, and thanked God. ******** "Are you alright?" Airports were horrible places. The faces of people within were consumed with a mixture of grief and excitement. Driven by the joy of a journey, or the desperation of a sudden departure. Not to mention the God-awful smell that lingered as well. "Tensei?" Quartre's expression was glum. He too was leaving a part of him behind. A phase of his life had been cast suddenly shut, although he refused to let his sorrow show on his face in concern for his lover. Tensei shut her eyes. She could at least smile for him, couldn't she? Tell him that everything would be all right. Force a smile upon her face as she had done so many times in the past. A sigh reached her ears. Quatre placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, neither in a sign of comfort or distaste, and stepped forward. In the thousands of traveling people in the airport, his form was lost almost instantly. "Hey Bekki!" Tensei turned her gaze to the side, where two young women stood embracing. Both of them seemed to have a combination of brown and blonde hair; one with curly and the other with straight. The one named Bekki grinned and stepped back. "Yeah, Amanda?" Amanda grinned as well and high-fived her friend. "Stay in touch! Okay! A border between us is going to make no difference!" Bekki laughed. "Of course! I'll e-mail you!" "Yeah!" Tensei shook her head sadly. 'Good luck you two.' She thought quietly. 'I hope you have better luck than Musha and I did.' Through all the crowds of people between them, she somehow felt Quatre pause and look over his shoulder in wait. "No." Tensei whispered. "No more lies or half truths. That's destroyed enough already in my life." She smiled, before taking off at a jog after Quatre. He grinned, and took her smaller hand into his own larger one. "Welcome back Tensei." "It's good to be back." 


End file.
